Print Story You'll miss me when I'm gone
Wizards and Hobbits
By Bob Abooey (Tue Nov 21, 2006 at 07:05:00 AM EST) Super High Tech Jet Fighters (all tags)
The B.A.D.TM

Blogging for Jesus since 1976...

Here's a list of things I need to do before leaving for my vacation:

  • Trim Nose Hairs
  • Do laundry
  • Pack
  • Purchase batteries for MP3 player
  • Purchase a case of condoms
  • Print Boarding pass
  • Get 7 day feeder for fish
  • Eat everything left in my refrigerator
  • Purchase little containers of contact solution for carry-on bag
  • Get haircut (must look good in case I get discovered by Hollywood mogul)
  • Write Perl script to determine my lucky numbers
  • Buy snacky snacks for plane trip
  • Take out $5,000 in quarters from bank
  • Work on pickup lines (Say.. are those real? etc etc)

My friend accidentally downloaded the audio version of William Jefferson Clinton's book "My Life" which will serve for a distraction during my flight to and fro Vegas. It's about 6 hours long which is pretty close to the actual flying time and as such I'm pretty sure it's God's will that I listen to it. Time is a pretty good indication of God's will for you. I'll leave why that's true as an exercise for the reader to work through.

I'm 5 - 5 - 1 in my FFL league and clinched a Playoff spot!!! Wooo!!! I'm guessing I'm the first rookie to ever clinch a playoff spot in the history of FFL!!! After losing my first three games I've gone 5 - 2 - 1, which is causing fear in the souls of all the blokes in my league, for sure.

For lunch today I'm going to have a hammy sammy on a GIANT kaiser roll bun kind of thing. Plus some Huge Hawk applesauce (it's not as good as the Motts, truth be told, but it was cheaper ya know) as well as some Frosted Mini Wheat's for desert. Mmmmm.

Okay then, gotta go.

< Yesterday I: | BBC White season: 'Rivers of Blood' >
You'll miss me when I'm gone | 13 comments (13 topical, 0 hidden)
You could put that time to more productive use by georgeha (4.00 / 3) #1 Tue Nov 21, 2006 at 07:14:55 AM EST
than listening to slick Willy. Muslims are becoming more and more important in our culture, can't you find an English translation of the Koran to study on your flight?

let's see by alprazolam (2.00 / 0) #2 Tue Nov 21, 2006 at 07:24:22 AM EST
nose: trimmed and plucked
laundry: washed
packing: complete
mp3 player: check
condoms: who needs 'em
boarding pass: save that for the last minute
fish: eaten last friday
fridge: well...close enough
contact solution: placed in ziploc bag
haircut: check
lucky number: already know them
snacks: are bad for you
bank: got parking money

you forgot to check your cell phone batteries.

Oh yeah by Bob Abooey (2.00 / 0) #3 Tue Nov 21, 2006 at 07:29:46 AM EST
Charge cell phone battery. Excellent. Right. Capitol idea!

Warmest regards,
--Your best pal Bob

[ Parent ]
charge ipod too by cam (2.00 / 0) #4 Tue Nov 21, 2006 at 08:21:46 AM EST
mine was dead on sunday and my wife's was on quarter power. I had to *read*.

Freedom, liberty, equity and an Australian Republic

[ Parent ]
Bwuahaha! by Bob Abooey (4.00 / 1) #5 Tue Nov 21, 2006 at 09:18:45 AM EST
With my MuVo I never have to worry about a dead battery. You simply pop out the dead one and pop in a fresh one and away you go! No reading necessary! EVAR!

Warmest regards,
--Your best pal Bob

[ Parent ]
So you love Chairman Mao by cam (4.00 / 1) #6 Tue Nov 21, 2006 at 10:46:58 AM EST
Well who doesn't? by ajf (2.00 / 0) #10 Tue Nov 21, 2006 at 07:20:04 PM EST
fishies by LilFlightTest (2.00 / 0) #7 Tue Nov 21, 2006 at 11:53:56 AM EST
how long will you be gone? if it's less than a week, dont worry about the feeding (unless you fear they'll eat eachother). they can go awhile. if that's the case, i'd also not get a 7 day feeder, go for a 3, because the amount of crap they put in those to bind the food bits will fuck your tank up good if you dont clean it the second you get home. the less crud the better.
Dance On, Gir!
8 days by Bob Abooey (2.00 / 0) #8 Tue Nov 21, 2006 at 01:27:42 PM EST
I guess I can break it in half, no? It's a decent sized tank (40 gal) and only has 2 fishies in it so I guess that'll be more than enough food for them.

Warmest regards,
--Your best pal Bob

[ Parent ]
yeah by LilFlightTest (2.00 / 0) #11 Tue Nov 21, 2006 at 07:33:35 PM EST
but do definately clean the tank when you get back.
Dance On, Gir!
[ Parent ]
Suck It by yankeehack (2.00 / 0) #9 Tue Nov 21, 2006 at 06:38:37 PM EST
I'm 7-1-1 in FF.
"...she dares to indulge in the secret sport. You can't be a MILF with the F, at least in part because the M is predicated upon it."-CBB
Well by Bob Abooey (2.00 / 0) #12 Wed Nov 22, 2006 at 04:37:39 AM EST
That's pretty good for a girl league I suppose. Still, that's rather like comparing being the first to pull into the parking lot at work with winning a NASCAR race.

Next year I propose a HuSi league, so we can separate the wheat from the chaff on this one small issue.

Warmest regards,
--Your best pal Bob

[ Parent ]
Clinton? by dev trash (2.00 / 0) #13 Sun Nov 26, 2006 at 02:40:57 PM EST
does that audio version have the sound from his Monica Days?

Blizzard of Death '06
You'll miss me when I'm gone | 13 comments (13 topical, 0 hidden)