But then last Thursday happened.

I got a call from a good fried of mine in NYC.  We'll call her Pretty Girl, as I've alway admired her beauty inside and out.  So Pretty Girl was asking me how life has been going; she knew about everything going on over the laast few months.  So I began my usual whining, etc.  She stopped me and said "you know I love you.  You are a powerful amazing woman and you seem to have lost sight of that.  DO you remember when we used to go to (our) seminars?  You were a powerhouse - no one could stop you from you doing what you want and people got enrolled in your enthuasiam.  That woman still exsists; you've just seem to have misplaced her."

I stopped crying.  She went on to tell me about this movie I should see called "The Secret."  It's about the Laws of Attraction - what you put out into the universe is what you'll get back.  Now, these theories are not new to me; I spent years in seminars based on these same ideas and principals.  But like she said, I've seemd to have lost my way.  All my self-pity and anger towards R. and the breakup and me not being where I want to be in life clouded my vision.

So she begins to tell me more about "The Secret".  I'm half listening; I was still pretty stuck in my misery and not quite ready to give it up.  In the background of the conversation I decided to look at my email.  I got one that floored me.

Calla (you know her) sent me a link.  I rarely get email from her.  The link was to the movie "The Secret."  Just as Pretty Girl was chattering in my ear about it, I got a email pointing me in the same direction.  I swear, I almost fell off the couch.

I shared with with Pretty Girl and she exclaimed "of COURSE you got that email at this PRECISE moment."  And we laughed and laughed.  I haven't laughed like that in a while.

I wanted to hurry off teh phone to share the synchronicity with Calla.  Unfortuatly she was in the middle of feeding her brood, but I do think she understood my excitement and the weirdness of the situation.  It was a quick call, but I apprecaited her listening.

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I have been feeling very lonely in the way of female friends lately.  I have a few, but none that know me and understand me in a way I feel "gotten."  I've been putting out to the universe that I long for a girlfriend who I can just hang with, be myself with, do things with - other than my roomate. 

The week before I sent out an email to my NYC friends inviting them to meet me the friday after turkey day for karaoke.  I got a bunch of responses back saying people could or couldn't come.  And that was fine; I figured people might be out of town, etc.

And then I got an email from Melly-Mel.

Melly-Mel and I were friends back in 1992-1993 when I lived in CT and was right out of college.  We met working in retail and became fast friends.  We spent a LOT of time hanging out; we both didn't really have many other friends and we complimented each other nicely.  I moved to NYC in late 1993 and Mel and I went our seperate ways.  We kept in touch; phone calls once or twice a year, email, etc.  She went on to go to law school, I went to get my Masters.  She ended up in Human Resources at $large home improvement retailer (the blue one, not the orange one) and I moved to ME.  The last time I saw her was May 15, 2000 - I went to visit her on my way down to NYC to see friends. I had been in ME 2 months.  That night I was at her house and I found out my father died.  Having Mel be the one with me made it a little bit barable.

Melly-Mel moved to NYC (ironically) later that year in a promotion with $large home improvement retailer.  Again, the years went on and we kept in touch via email.

So of course, knowing she's in NY i sent her the email about turkey day friday.  When I woke up Firday morning (the day after my call with Pretty Girl adn Calla) I got an email from Melly-Mel:

"Sorry I can't see you on that Friday.  The reason is I'm not in NYC anymore.  Funny thing is, I'm living in ME now. I'll call you later today."

That evening I saw her for the first time in 6 years. 

It was like we were never apart.

I'm thrilled to have my freind back.  It's amazing how things show up.

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Since last week I've been feeling better.  I watched "The Secret" two times and have started to incorporate some of the ideas back into my life.  I'm working on a visualizaion board (where you create a poster of things you want in your life and start working towards them in a vareity of different ways).  It's been fun flipping through magazines and finding pictures.  It's been more fun being engaged in what I WANT rather than what I don't have.
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I talked to my mother on Monday evening.  She was glad to hear I'm feeling better, but I dind't really share with her the visualization stuff.  We talked about other things; it didn't really come up.

THe next day she emailed me.  "You know Corky, I'm in a small workshop with a few woman and we've been working from the book "The Artist's Way."  And one of the things we're doing is creating visualization boards..." and she went on to describe them to me.  I wrote back, telling her about "The Secret" and how I was already engaged in creating a board.

She wrote back that earlier that day one of the women in the group suggested taht they get a copy of "The Secret" to watch together.

Weird, huh?
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I sent out 2 resumes on Monday (I didn't have a sub gig).  Got calls back on both.  One is very promising and is something I think I'd do very well at.  Also, it offers the kind of money I want, full benefits, is only a 15 min commute and is all about making a difference in the world.  I'm meeting with them after the holiday.
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So, yeah, things are looking up.