You know who's a chump? Jermaine Dupri, that's who. I mean, seriously, dude. How does a dude get to be that chumpy? I hope I never find that out. I hope you never do, too.
Sometimes things aren't convenient. Man, is that ever a pain in the ass. Fortunately, there are only logistics plans to sort out, and that shit isn't that complicated, really. I mean, if you compare it to more complicated shit that you manage to figure out on a daily basis because you have to, it's really just a question of connecting dots, crossing t's, killing zombies, and pointing and clicking.
I've learned many things in the past two weeks, here are a few:
1) I am an old man now. I have a swollen foot from a week-old injury. It wasn't swollen until yesterday, after I ignored my doctor's suggestion that I "stay off of it" for a few days. Why would I listen to him? It's my ankle! Who needs those things, anyway? Good times, good times.
2) I now know that the reason I love Grandaddy so damn much is because they're basically the Electric Light Orchestra and the Alan Parsons Project's atmospheric crap with a distortion pedal, and, to be quite honest, I don't think it's possible to make a better combination of shit.
3) NFS 4 is the shit.
4) Miss Beazley is, in fact, cuter than Barney, but not by much.
And it's not even Bagel Wednesday yet! Holy fuck!
What wouldn't have been funny, had I typed it in 1996, much less 2006: "Holy fsck!" Write it down, kiddies, Live it. Learn it. Love it. It's the lay of the land, my friend. It's the lay of the LAND my friend, uh.
Maybe I'll go to Indiana weekend after next. Who knows? I could do anything! The only limit is my imagination. Wait, was that irony intentional? I don't even know anymore.
This just in: also chumps: PULP!
Mmmmm, graphical history...
OK, time to change the bandages.
By the way, it was Audrey Marie Anderson night. I hope you all did the right thing. Or the left thing. However you touch your junk. Except those of you who prefer Bob Brown. Me? I went the both-hands route. Cali-style, or, if you prefer, Cally-style. Speaking of which, man do I ever need to fix my cable-lameness situation before the end of the week! Oh, wait; I can just download that shit the next day. My bad.
Frustratingly watery, but devoid of dark blood remnants in the stool, which is an improvement.
|< Long weekend | BBC White season: 'Rivers of Blood' >|