Print Story Patsy
By motty (Tue Oct 24, 2006 at 05:10:46 PM EST) fun loving cowwqas., sharks, Patsy, locals (all tags)
Patsy liked sharks.

Patsy drank at my local. An old boy, he was there every night. Night in, night out. He'd sit there, always in the same place at the bar, until he'd drank his fill of Guinness, then he'd get a taxi home. The girls behind the bar always seemed to know when he needed a taxi, whether it was eight pm or closing time. And that was it, he'd be gone.

Patsy would come up to you without warning and start conversation. Thin as a rake, his handshake was strong, though his voice was a bit wobbly, especially after a few pints. And the conversation, no matter how it started, always ended the same way.

Patsy was a fan of sharks.

During the day, now he was no longer a working man, he'd go to the library and get books on sharks out. Or videos. Or whatever he could get that had shark-related content. He never talked at great length or with any particular clarity on the subject. He didn't need to. He'd read the books already, and he knew perfectly well that his was an unusual obsession and that there was no point in sharing his special knowledge with the great unwashed.

Most people didn't understand what was so special about sharks. There were many facts about sharks which Patsy knew, but he would only share them with you when you were so drunk you would forget them by the next day.

That's why I can't remember them now.

Patsy's memory wasn't so good either. I remember introducing myself to him at least three times. Then we'd talk about sharks, or rather, he'd talk about sharks, and I'd listen, until his attention wandered from his own monologue and he'd head off back to the other end of the bar, where he'd left his pint.

When I first started drinking there, he'd always be there till closing, but as the months went by, he'd leave earlier and earlier.

Then I stopped seeing him at all.

My memory also isn't so good. I can't remember the last time Patsy told me about sharks.

But I was drinking there this evening and another of the regulars told me that Patsy died last night.

We wished him good health one last time, and then I got extremely drunk, as one does.

I don't fucking know.


Good health, Patsy.

< Saath Ifrica | BBC White season: 'Rivers of Blood' >
Patsy | 3 comments (3 topical, 0 hidden)
Well hoist a pint for Patsy then by johnny (4.00 / 7) #1 Tue Oct 24, 2006 at 06:30:15 PM EST
And pour a pint of Guiness into the ocean next time you're near it, for the sharks.

I will too.

She has effectively checked out. She's an un-person of her own making. So it falls to me.--ad hoc (in the hole)

Pub regulars dying by nebbish (4.00 / 4) #2 Wed Oct 25, 2006 at 12:24:32 AM EST
Always a bit weird. You sort of know them but don't as well.

There was this really well educated bloke used to drink in a pub in Bethnal Green I used to go to. He was OK but would get too pissed and do your head in, so after initially getting on with him we started to avoid him. To his credit he took the hint.

He didn't turn up to the pub for a few days running (he was always there), so the landlady sent out a search party to his flat. They found him dead.

It made me quite sad. He was a decent guy, his only problem basically that he was an alcoholic which wasn't really his fault.

It's political correctness gone mad!

VS2FP by ana (4.00 / 6) #3 Wed Oct 25, 2006 at 01:44:13 AM EST
that is all.

Regular, or decaf abomination? --Kellnerin

Patsy | 3 comments (3 topical, 0 hidden)