Print Story Bio of a Civ tyrant
By clover kicker (Thu Oct 12, 2006 at 06:10:27 PM EST) boring (all tags)
Large map, Noble, Inland Sea map

Russian, Peter the Great (love the 2x great people points)

Found an outstanding location to establish my first city. Moscow is in a river valley with access to corn, sheep, and 2 gold mines. Life is good.

My explorers have covered a lot of ground, but there is no copper in sight. Am researching iron now, can only hope for the best. On a positive note I've just discovered horses within Moscow's sphere of influence.

No iron deposits within practical range. My neighbour Frederick does have access to iron, in one of his many small, poorly defended cities. I'm resarching construction/catapults, and building horse archers in the meantime. If I don't capture at least Berlin and Cologne, I'll be hemmed in forever. If I don't move soon, I won't be able to.

My German adventure went very well. I've seized Berlin, Munich and Cologne with minimal losses before signing a peace treaty. Frederick is a much better administrator than general, the cities are well-situated and nicely developed.

Freddy still has some small cities. I'm consolidating my gains and building up for the next round of expansion.

Freddy just got fingered. None of these cities are awesome, but they're all worth keeping.

I've been concentrating on my economy, researching like a madman, building improvements, having a great time. I even founded a religion. I've got a tech lead over everyone else, and my neighbours in particular. Life is good, but if I stay peaceful, the others will eventually catch up. I must expand once again, just to be safe.

I've just researched Cossacks. The military gap between myself and my neighbours may never be greater, I must attack either Alexander or Napolean immediately.

Alexander is such a basket case that he'll never be a threat. OTOH Paris has access to both coal and iron, I think I know where I'd like to build my Ironworks. I've got 3 stacks carving into French territory, hopefully I can crush Napolean in a single short campaign.

That was a very cheap war, except for the last 2 cities full of riflemen. I expect Mansa Musa gifted the French with some technology just to annoy me. At any rate, Napolean has been dynamited.

Alexander and Isabella have been squabbling for centuries. They keep whining to me about backing one or the other, as if I give a rat's ass about the 2 weakest surviving nations. I'm tired of it, and now that I'm done assimilating France, Isabella's territory is right on my doorstep.

The Cossacks are on the march, Isabella baby. That cute little pout won't save you now.

Well that was easy. I haven't killed a longbowman for centuries. Isabella is-a-borked.

I've had a wonderful time these last hundred years. Industrial revolution, massive technological change, building railways, new units, world wonders... And of course just when I'm enjoying myself military matters have reared their ugly head.

Cyrus and Mansa Musa are sharing technology, and building a huge army. They're several tech levels below me, but if they threw everything at me tomorrow, we'd probably be stalemated. I've gotta get back into the damn arms race, and waste a bunch of time creating and marshalling a vast army yet again. Sigh.

OK, I'm bored. If I have to build and maintain this gigantic millitary machine, I might as well get some fun out of it. My T34s have crossed into Persian territory, we'll see if Mansa Musa likes Cyrus enough to commit troops to help out.

This is sooo tedious. My forces are winning, but it takes a ridiculous amount of time to cross enemy territory, even with tanks. Meanwhile, his cavalry is darting around like the fucking road runner. I'm clearly out in front, Cyrus has lost half his army and 1/3 of his cities, but the turns are taking longer and longer.

I'm researching the UN right now, that would allow me to get a diplomatic victory fairly quickly. Hmm.

OK, fuck this. I've uninstalled Civ4 for the very last time. The endgame sucks, and the wargaming is fucking terrible. If anyone wants me, I'll be playing Combat Mission.

< My Harley | BBC White season: 'Rivers of Blood' >
Bio of a Civ tyrant | 5 comments (5 topical, 0 hidden)
May one suggest by anonimouse (4.00 / 1) #1 Thu Oct 12, 2006 at 10:10:55 PM EST
Rome:Total War or Medieval 2: Total War when it comes out (later this year?)

All the fun of building a civilisation with better combat.

Girls come and go but a mortgage is for 25 years -- JtL
Rome Total War by ucblockhead (2.00 / 0) #3 Fri Oct 13, 2006 at 08:06:06 AM EST
I refuse to play any of their games because their fucking copy protection won't work with my CD drive and their answer to the problem is "Too bad, sucker, we already have your money!"
[ucblockhead is] useless and subhuman
[ Parent ]
I don't use CD. by anonimouse (2.00 / 0) #5 Fri Oct 13, 2006 at 09:40:23 AM EST
I have a RAM image of the CD drive. Look for Rome:Total War nocd for the answer to your problems

Girls come and go but a mortgage is for 25 years -- JtL
[ Parent ]
"Napolean has been dynamited" by Christopher Robin was Murdered (4.00 / 2) #2 Fri Oct 13, 2006 at 05:23:54 AM EST
I was certain you'd follow this up with a classic "Napolean Blown-Apart" joke.

Yeah by ucblockhead (4.00 / 1) #4 Fri Oct 13, 2006 at 08:07:17 AM EST
That's why I tend to try to win space-race victories. I've noticed that you rarely get attacked at the endgame.

(The Warlords add-on improves things a bit as the other civs can don't have to take all their territory.)
[ucblockhead is] useless and subhuman

Bio of a Civ tyrant | 5 comments (5 topical, 0 hidden)