It is an inevitable thing to have happen should one decide to share one's home with certain types of pets that you will find them getting comfortable in places you find them to be quite the opposite. This is something to which I and my wife have become quite accustomed to due to living with cats. However, Jazz's deposition with regards to certain dangly portions of my anatomy and his actions towards them has me questioning the validity of them being accidental in nature. I have instead come to believe that he has detected certain missing portions of his own anatomy and has decided to strike out against those who may have caused him to have them missing.

The most recent incident was this past Saturday night. We were watching the HHGG movie and I was sitting lazily on our sofa. Jazz who had been occupying himself with a rawhide bone decided that he wanted us to toss the tennis ball around. He fetched it and proceeded to join me on the sofa. The choice of his approach and angle of attack left one very important thing to be desired: That he needed to land upon my crotch before proceeding to the open part of the sofa. This is just one part of a pattern of behavior which indicates that he has a vendetta against my testicles.

Jazz currently weighs in at a little over fifty pounds now. It was one thing when he was much smaller and lighter. Such was also only the beginning of attempts to jump and rarely, if ever, were successful in causing any sort of discomfort. In growing, both in size and mass, this has become bit by bit less amusing and more painful. He sees my reaction when he surprises me by jumping suddenly at a movement my wife makes across the room. He knows I smack him when he barrels off my lap to go and chase the cats. I think I even heard him laughing ever so slightly on Saturday night.

I have come to believe that our dog has a vendetta against my testicles.