Print Story Thinking is a Gateway Drug
Diary
By Sin Tax (Tue Jan 03, 2006 at 06:24:03 AM EST) (all tags)
For days now he had tormented himself with such notions. And he seemed to be getting deeper into the circular swamp of pure reasoning. It was his philosophy class all over again, where debate led not to solution or insight but to further and further debate. Words begat words. Thoughts begat a feverish preoccupation with thinking, with logic as such.


And the dearth of kind men fills the ears in the morning; with the crux of their crucifuckingfiction causing friction on the side, but I slide aside and pass by the hide that fries the shlock shock in my eyes. Seriously man, it's like that.

Oh and the people, they stare like jaded lymph nodes; hoarding impurities like satiny gloves on a liver lover. Sing me to sleep oh divine, tuck me in and be my breakfast.

Be. My. Breakfast.

That tubby fucker at work with his hammer and sickle-cell smile. Vacationing and ballooning about like a damned fool. "FUCK?! Why would someone steal my KVM?! Now I can't do m-" Boo fucking hoo. Buck up; we know you don't care about shareholder value that much and the company will front you the bills for another. Oh it's the principle is it, the principle is that you don't do your fucking job anyway. As I sit here to type you stand and gabber with the other useless waste of sperm and egg across from you.

I swear to fuck folks, some days it's really tough not to smash a mirror and coat my hands with glass before I grind a knuckle right into everyone's eyes; some days.

Some days come and go like bathroom trains that ebb and flow and here in there and there I go; some days come and some days go.

Another knuckle-dragging mindless block of tastelessness propels beyond beyond beyond. We bay our bowels at the moon and bark mad, half-lit eyes like fire in the skewered tastes of languished needs. Load the damned car and take off, go until you hit the sea and therein shall live amongst the chorus of the coral. Therein shall grow gills and join the fine people of Innsmouth.

Fuck that, damned and double damned I am and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Please remember to spit on my grave as you walk past, it'll give me a chuckle.

< What I Did On My JeebusMass Vacation | BBC White season: 'Rivers of Blood' >
Thinking is a Gateway Drug | 31 comments (31 topical, 0 hidden)
Your poll title by georgeha (4.00 / 1) #1 Tue Jan 03, 2006 at 06:25:58 AM EST
almost works when sung to White Rabbit.


I doubt by Sin Tax (2.00 / 0) #2 Tue Jan 03, 2006 at 06:32:03 AM EST
That a pill to make you larger would sell well.

However, one pill that makes you smaller would be nice. Take another and another and another and you just disappear. Addicts aren't we all? Huzzah!

Sin Tax

[ Parent ]
logic in a philosophy class? by lm (2.00 / 0) #3 Tue Jan 03, 2006 at 06:33:19 AM EST
That's pretty rare.

There is no more degenerate kind of state than that in which the richest are supposed to be the best.
Cicero, The Republic
Isadore by Sin Tax (2.00 / 0) #4 Tue Jan 03, 2006 at 06:36:45 AM EST
You sure are a crap artist.

Well not, YOU you, but you; you know?

Of course you doo-n't, how could you true blue?

Logic and philosophy aren't necessarily so far removed, it's just that the logic in philosophy doesn't provide real world application, it's topical; like an ointment or a saaaaaaaalve (ation).

Sin Tax

[ Parent ]
I name thee Sophist by lm (2.00 / 0) #17 Tue Jan 03, 2006 at 08:20:58 AM EST
Have a sand witch.

There is no more degenerate kind of state than that in which the richest are supposed to be the best.
Cicero, The Republic
[ Parent ]
Don't mind if I do (NT) by Sin Tax (2.00 / 0) #18 Tue Jan 03, 2006 at 08:27:07 AM EST

Sin Tax

[ Parent ]
Is that a good or a bad thing? by Dr H0ffm4n (2.00 / 0) #13 Tue Jan 03, 2006 at 07:53:48 AM EST


[ Parent ]
That all depends by lm (2.00 / 0) #16 Tue Jan 03, 2006 at 08:18:54 AM EST
If you like Nietzsche, it's a good thing. If you like Aristotle, not so much.

There is no more degenerate kind of state than that in which the richest are supposed to be the best.
Cicero, The Republic
[ Parent ]
I try to eat breakfast everyday. by me0w (4.00 / 1) #5 Tue Jan 03, 2006 at 06:45:33 AM EST
First I take my vitamins - C, B complex, E, D, Omega 3-6-9, and a multi-vitamin. I had eggos today. Fibre plus eggos. I don't put syrup on my eggos, I do put apple sauce on them though. I'm not a fan of syrup. I like the sourness of unsweetened apple sauce. I only take spirulina. The whole breakfast amuses me. Eggos remind me of ego, and the spirulina is a super-food. So it's like I'm eating Super Egos and the other stuff is the fuel that powers this breakfast superhero.

After I've eaten I visit the bathroom. Fibre really gets to you. I recommend Charmin Ultra.



Charmin Ultra by Sin Tax (2.00 / 0) #6 Tue Jan 03, 2006 at 06:46:47 AM EST
I would not know it, but it has to be better than wipin' with a damn Belgian Waffle.

Sin Tax

[ Parent ]
Thinking by me0w (4.00 / 1) #7 Tue Jan 03, 2006 at 07:05:32 AM EST
You'd know it by the logo:  .

I'm not sure why bears promote toilet paper. I always thought they wiped with bunny rabbits, but really .. what do I know?! I don't hang out in the forests with bears and I certainly don't inquire as to what they wipe with.

I wouldn't recommend wiping with waffles. They do have the advantage of all those little depressions for collection, but their structural stability isn't fantastic. Plus I would think they would clog the toilet.



[ Parent ]
The bears are just metaphors for consumerists by georgeha (4.00 / 1) #8 Tue Jan 03, 2006 at 07:11:29 AM EST
Sure, they may end up with clean behinds, but the forest that was their abode has now been clearcut for toilet paper pulp, and the pristine stream they drank from is now full of dioxin from the bleaching process of the toiler paper mill.

They fell for an unnecessary manufactured want and destroyed their home in the process.


[ Parent ]
It may have destroyed their homes ... by me0w (2.00 / 0) #11 Tue Jan 03, 2006 at 07:40:44 AM EST
But could the lack of product been fatal to the entire species?

Say you have Reuben the Bear and he is all googly eyes over Sally the Bear. So Reuben asks Sally out on a date and she says yes. So Reuben gets all gussied up on the night of the date and he decided to empty his bowels before leaving. Luckily he has some Charmin to wipe with .... because the alternative - not wiping and having poop stuck to his butt - would deter Sally from wanting to date Reuben and eventually have a family with Reuben. I wouldn't think that many bears would like to date other bears with poop stuck to them, or bears that smell like poop. No one likes the smell of poop. I even bet that Sally made fun of the cub in school who smelled like poop (everyone knows of the cub who smelled like poop in class).

Perhaps if it weren't for the Charmin the entire population of bears might cease to be.

Just a thought.



[ Parent ]
Two words by Sin Tax (2.00 / 0) #9 Tue Jan 03, 2006 at 07:19:12 AM EST
Maple Syrup. Thank you.

Sin Tax

[ Parent ]
Damn your sugar! by me0w (4.00 / 1) #10 Tue Jan 03, 2006 at 07:33:49 AM EST
Maple Syrup is all fine and dandy and it may have skin softening/hydrating properties, but I fear that the stickiness factor may cause problems as well as the high sugar factor. Constant use of maple syrup might send one right to the depths of diabetes! And then you get a whole new set of problems. Not only will you still worry about wiping, but you'll also have to consider ulcers, blindness, and loss of limb!

Maple Syrup is a slippery slope sir.

(Maple sugar candies are excluded. They are just damn tasty.)



[ Parent ]
Plus, Canada makes maple syrup by georgeha (4.00 / 1) #12 Tue Jan 03, 2006 at 07:45:17 AM EST
and since they're not 100% behind the US on the War on Tairsts/Drugs/Liberals/Socialized Medicine/Poutine/Kyoto/the er-re and o-ou questions, they must be the enemy.

Therefore, unless you use American grown maple syrup, you're the enemy too.


[ Parent ]
I do promote Canadian Maple Syrup by me0w (4.00 / 2) #14 Tue Jan 03, 2006 at 07:55:48 AM EST
Quite frankly it is the best maple syrup one can eat. It's not necessarily the maple trees that make the difference, but rather it is the pot smoking/same-sex-marriage/tree-hugging/dance-naked-in-the-snow festival that surrounds the gathering of the Maple Syrup.

9 out of 10 bears recommend Canadian Maple Syrup.



[ Parent ]
gibber gabber by El Pig (2.00 / 0) #15 Tue Jan 03, 2006 at 08:01:26 AM EST
So, yeah, it's, like, I'll return to work tomorrow morning and listen to who had the best honeybaked ham and who got the diamond stubs, and the DUI on New Years, but it's all china cup smiles.

And that's the joy of being damned: you know how much worse it really is.

I won't spite on your grave, man.  I'll spill some MadDog 40.  Same great backwash, none of the spite.

_____________________________________________

Does your head hang low? by Sin Tax (2.00 / 0) #19 Tue Jan 03, 2006 at 08:27:55 AM EST
Does it you know to and fro? And if so, why not? Jeez louise, PEOPLE.

Sin Tax

[ Parent ]
Thank you for writing this by MMcP (2.00 / 0) #20 Wed Jan 04, 2006 at 08:10:41 PM EST
it affected me.

Thank you for reading by Sin Tax (2.00 / 0) #21 Thu Jan 05, 2006 at 01:07:22 AM EST
Affect is the best for which writing can ask.

Sin Tax

[ Parent ]
I was hoping for croissants. by mrgoat (2.00 / 0) #22 Thu Jan 05, 2006 at 03:01:34 PM EST


--top hat--
[ Parent ]
Sorry by Sin Tax (2.00 / 0) #23 Thu Jan 05, 2006 at 03:12:18 PM EST
I was never able to make a good croissant.

Sin Tax

[ Parent ]
It's ok. by mrgoat (2.00 / 0) #24 Thu Jan 05, 2006 at 03:15:37 PM EST
They basically evil little things anyway. I mean, you eat one, and it's so light and buttery and sugary, then you eat another, and pretty soon you're sniping from a book repository screaming that you'll put the monkey down when you're good and ready.

--top hat--
[ Parent ]
Sir, by Sin Tax (2.00 / 0) #25 Thu Jan 05, 2006 at 03:17:51 PM EST
I regret to remind you that I... was that monkey.

Sin Tax

[ Parent ]
I know what you two are up to by MisterQueue (2.00 / 0) #26 Thu Jan 05, 2006 at 03:21:50 PM EST
and it won't work. I simply haven't the time these days.


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"I always percieved the Q to be more about laughing at sadness, not laughing per se." -infinitera

[ Parent ]
Fine by me by Sin Tax (2.00 / 0) #27 Thu Jan 05, 2006 at 03:24:18 PM EST
I'm pretty sure we haven't the time these days.

Sin Tax

[ Parent ]
If there's one thing I don't have the time for, by mrgoat (2.00 / 0) #28 Fri Jan 06, 2006 at 01:16:04 PM EST
It's these days. Or that's it. The thing, I mean, that thing, it's its it.

But hey, at least you and I got the Q out of hiding for a moment. We should call you Q2. Or Q'. It's not easy getting him out. I tried. I baited him with cheese and jism.

--top hat--

[ Parent ]
Q2? by Sin Tax (2.00 / 0) #29 Fri Jan 06, 2006 at 01:54:22 PM EST
That just makes me sound like a coccooned butterfly thing. I prefer to think of myself as an homage.

Though I suspect Q would think I was a curse. (Got an intriguing PM on the subject actually.)

Sin Tax

[ Parent ]
Ugh... by MisterQueue (2.00 / 0) #30 Fri Jan 06, 2006 at 03:28:37 PM EST
you call THIS an homage? Pfeh... but I wish you luck good sir. Just remember who's still THE MAN around here. (Baby baby, why you gotta make me hit you?)


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"I always percieved the Q to be more about laughing at sadness, not laughing per se." -infinitera

[ Parent ]
The man? by Sin Tax (2.00 / 0) #31 Sat Jan 07, 2006 at 09:22:00 PM EST
You mean like cheeseburgerbrown? :P

Anyway stop whining old man, give the kids a chance to play.

Sin Tax

[ Parent ]
Thinking is a Gateway Drug | 31 comments (31 topical, 0 hidden)