Print Story Saving A Memory
Diary
By atreides (Sun Aug 22, 2004 at 10:12:07 AM EST) (all tags)
This is really for me and not for you guys, but you can have it if you want. It's no great secret.


Last night was the most successful night the bar has had since it opened. We topped both attendance and bar sales records. After a mosh pit had almost toppled one of the stage speakers, I was assigned the job of staying in front of it to assure that it didn't happen again. So, for 3 bands, I did nothing but stand in front of a 90+ db speaker, keeping throngs of people away from the relatively spindly tower it was perched on. But that's not why I remember last night.

During one of the bands, I saw a young couple. They couldn't have been older than 17. He was tall and gangly. She was short and gangly. They were both little emo kids with their little punk belts and their tight fitting retro t-shirts and their basic black frames. Hell, I probably outweigh both of them put together. They were both sitting together, propped up against a wall watching Air Tight Alibi kick it out. I don't know what it was about them that caught my eye. They were no different than anyone else there, unique little flowers just like everyone else in the room. Of course, since I have to watch everyone, I had to get to them eventually.

I saw him lean over her and give her a kiss on the lips. It was tender without being sappy, passionate without being lustful. And she kissed him back, putting her hand behind his neck to pull his lips closer. He took her other hand and they sat there in that kiss for what seemed almost like an eternity before they pulled back apart into one entity again.

I felt a little ashamed at first. I felt like I was barging in on someone else's perfect secret moment. Then I felt a little touched. The last place I expected to have such a moment of beauty was in a sweat filled room, surrounded by sound and the movement of a miniature human tide.

More than anything, I think I felt a little cowed. I mean, I don't remember being young and in love and loved in return. And I don't remember because I never was. Oh, sure, I "fell in love" but it was always an inaccessible thing. There would always be an object of my desire, but there were so many things that I didn't understand. It wasn't the same as it was in movies and books, the true objects of my affection. It was never as clean and clear cut as "I like you, I'll get you to like me and we'll live happily ever after or until we go to college" like I would watch every day on some show. I didn't realize that "longing" wasn't romantic, just wasteful, an incubator of bitterness and a wall going up between me and happiness. I didn't know that someone who is close might not be right or even fitting to be with or, conversely, that it might come from an unexpected direction. More than anything, I didn't understand that when it presents itself, it is sometimes a complex affair, not the simplicity I thought it would be. I've spent the entirety of my life wrestling with and trying to undo the mistakes of my youth. And yet, these two seemed to have figured out so many things so quickly.

Maybe these kids today are smarter than I'll probably ever be. Maybe that's why generations war. I think it's envy. The old have what the young think they want and the young have what the old know they want. The sadness is that the young will get what they're after and learn that the price of getting what you want is having what you once wanted.

But that didn't matter last night to them or to me. Last night, I saw a moment of beauty. If I'm lucky, I'll get to carry it with me as I get older. I won't be lucky, though, because it is the doom of men that they forget.

< Oy Vey! | BBC White season: 'Rivers of Blood' >
Saving A Memory | 77 comments (77 topical, 1 hidden)
+1, FP! by ni (5.66 / 3) #1 Sun Aug 22, 2004 at 10:18:05 AM EST
I'm glad that instead of just saying "+1, FP!", I can now actually vote that way.

This was touching. Thank you.


"Watching queer eye for the straight guy, smoking a joint. I'm not who I was in highschool." -- Dest

IAWTP by MohammedNiyalSayeed (5.50 / 2) #2 Sun Aug 22, 2004 at 11:06:27 AM EST

And have nothing to add, but that I enjoyed it. Well done, Mssr. Atreides.


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You can build the most elegant fountain in the world, but eventually a winged rat will be using it as a drinking bowl.
[ Parent ]
Sigh... by ucblockhead (3.00 / 0) #5 Sun Aug 22, 2004 at 03:50:21 PM EST
Now I'm depressed. I to never had that sort of love at that age. Sure, I had girlfriends, but not that sort. By the time I found real love, I was in my late twenties and so it wasn't that all-consuming teenage thing.
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[ucblockhead is] useless and subhuman
Don't just hold it in memory by Metatone (6.00 / 2) #7 Sun Aug 22, 2004 at 09:00:24 PM EST
and don't just write it up on here... write it down somewhere, record it, then one day you may stumble across it when you have forgotten...

So, this guy is travelling through rural Japan by Rogerborg (5.42 / 7) #9 Mon Aug 23, 2004 at 01:37:06 AM EST
Back in the 1930s, IIRC.  He looks out the window, and sees a couple of local hawties bathing in a river, with their top hampers akimbo for all the world to see.

He turns to his Japanese guide and asks "Isn't that considered rude?"

"It's considered rude to stare," comes the reply.

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Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.

There is that moment by blixco (6.00 / 2) #10 Mon Aug 23, 2004 at 02:11:17 AM EST
occassionally.  When I was young and very, very idealistic, romance was like anything else: it had not been disproven.  Good to know there are still people who haven't been completely blindsided by cynicism.

I don't know that kids nowadays have much time before romance gets destroyed for them; every other song, every other tv show, every piece of advertising seems to erode that innocence.


---------------------------------
Journeying through the world
To and fro, to and fro
Cultivating a small field.
-basho

Reminds me... by lb008d (3.00 / 0) #12 Mon Aug 23, 2004 at 02:33:24 AM EST
I was driving home about a month back at around sunset and road I was taking goes along a bluff with a great view of the valley below and the blazing red sunset off in the distance. I noticed two kids sitting on the wooden guard rail kissing exactly in the way you just described.

It made me long for the times in which I was totally in love like that...

Odd for a gay bar. by Trollaxor (1.20 / 10) #13 Mon Aug 23, 2004 at 02:36:41 AM EST


You're the expert. by MohammedNiyalSayeed (5.75 / 4) #16 Mon Aug 23, 2004 at 03:06:41 AM EST

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You can build the most elegant fountain in the world, but eventually a winged rat will be using it as a drinking bowl.
[ Parent ]
Notice how these are kids you don't know by Nigga (6.00 / 6) #24 Mon Aug 23, 2004 at 04:41:32 AM EST
because if you really knew them, you'd know it's probably not quite a storybook as it looked in the bar.  Ok, so we see these relationships in A) movies, B) books, C) random strangers..

How many friends do you know whose relationships are like this?



two friends by rmg (6.00 / 2) #67 Wed Aug 25, 2004 at 12:37:40 AM EST
and i once had such a relationship yourself.

your comment's kind of sad.




[t]rolling retards conversation, period.

[ Parent ]
uh, what the hell... by rmg (3.00 / 0) #68 Wed Aug 25, 2004 at 12:38:33 AM EST
okay, "yourself" should read "myself." what a strange typo.




[t]rolling retards conversation, period.
[ Parent ]
RMG! by Breaker (6.00 / 1) #73 Fri Aug 27, 2004 at 09:39:04 AM EST
PUT DOWN THE CRACKPIPE AND GO STRAIGHT TO REHAB.

Do not collect two hundred pounds.


[ Parent ]
Neil Gaiman by 256 (3.00 / 0) #29 Mon Aug 23, 2004 at 06:50:38 AM EST
I've never been too fond of the wording, but the quote stuck in my head nonetheless. Or is there an earlier source I'm not aware of.

Anyway, beautiful story.
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I don't think anyone's ever really died from smoking. --ni

Pls Elaborate <nt> by oat5tout (3.00 / 0) #69 Wed Aug 25, 2004 at 04:17:41 AM EST


--
American hubris and Islamic fundamentalism are a bad combo. - MillMan

[ Parent ]
the quote in question: by 256 (6.00 / 1) #70 Wed Aug 25, 2004 at 12:30:46 PM EST
"the price of getting what you want is having what you once wanted."

Can be found in the afterword of one of the Sandman comics by Neil Gaiman.
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I don't think anyone's ever really died from smoking. --ni

[ Parent ]
Thx <nt> by oat5tout (3.00 / 0) #72 Wed Aug 25, 2004 at 02:21:30 PM EST


--
American hubris and Islamic fundamentalism are a bad combo. - MillMan

[ Parent ]
EMO by Orion Blastar (3.00 / 0) #71 Wed Aug 25, 2004 at 01:20:55 PM EST
I think Maddox has something to say about those kids.

See how he keeps EMO Teenagers out of the dollar show, brilliant!

There are other EMO related articles, you can find them yourself.


"I drank what?" - Socrates after drinking the Conium
Saving A Memory | 77 comments (77 topical, 1 hidden)