Are you old?

I am so old I am very nearly dead.   5 votes - 18 %
I am slightly old but I smell dead.   3 votes - 11 %
I see dead people at my assisted living centre.   0 votes - 0 %
I am so young I am like a Greek godling.   4 votes - 14 %
I am so young I think you're full of shit.   0 votes - 0 %
I am between being young and being old.   6 votes - 22 %
I disprefer the illusion of oldness but embrace the illusion of youth.   2 votes - 7 %
I am what I am, and I'm Popeye the sailor-man.   5 votes - 18 %
I am what I am, and I'm Edie Brickell.   1 vote - 3 %
I ham what I ham, because I ham French.   3 votes - 11 %
I ham what I ham, because I am a police officer.   1 vote - 3 %
I's de b'y dat builds de boat, and I's de b'y dat sails her.   8 votes - 29 %
 
27 Total Votes
I eat dinner fashionably late. by ammoniacal (4.00 / 1) #1 Fri Aug 19, 2011 at 12:19:26 PM EST
Totally stealing #17. I may credit you.

"To this day that was the most bullshit caesar salad I have every experienced..." - triggerfinger

Six Cents A Word by CheeseburgerBrown (4.00 / 2) #2 Fri Aug 19, 2011 at 12:31:37 PM EST
I pretty much agree with you by StackyMcRacky (4.00 / 2) #3 Fri Aug 19, 2011 at 12:41:51 PM EST
OH GOD, I'M OLD!

Two brave souls have rated this comment so far by marvin (4.00 / 1) #10 Fri Aug 19, 2011 at 03:59:14 PM EST
Sorry, but it appears to be a trap, just like "Do these pants make my ass look big"? The only winning strategy is to not play at all.

[ Parent ]
some pants DO make your ass look big by StackyMcRacky (4.00 / 3) #11 Fri Aug 19, 2011 at 04:00:59 PM EST
it's good to know when it happens, so you can get rid of the pants.

[ Parent ]
but you see the dilemma for the menfolk, right? by marvin (4.00 / 1) #12 Fri Aug 19, 2011 at 04:30:53 PM EST
Some women do not appreciate, ah, honesty, the same way you do. And sleeping on the couch is never fun.

[ Parent ]
I don't know about that by notafurry (4.00 / 1) #15 Fri Aug 19, 2011 at 05:55:24 PM EST
We have a pretty awesome couch.

[ Parent ]
Sofa... by CheeseburgerBrown (4.00 / 1) #34 Mon Aug 22, 2011 at 10:15:04 AM EST
no dilemma by StackyMcRacky (2.00 / 0) #17 Fri Aug 19, 2011 at 11:47:09 PM EST
although i will admit it's a lot of work to try to stay away from such f'd up women.  see my issues with my mother as an example.

[ Parent ]
Pro Tip: Don't Marry That Kind. by CheeseburgerBrown (2.00 / 0) #35 Mon Aug 22, 2011 at 10:16:53 AM EST
Also, invest in a fancier couch. Are you not a man of the West? If cower you must, at least cower in comfort.

With drink holders and a swing-up dealie for your legs and a built-in electric blanket and dispenser for loneliness cream.


Science-fiction wallah, storytelling gorilla, man wearing a hat: Cheeseburger Brown.
[ Parent ]
Streetpeople With Big Bums Salute You by CheeseburgerBrown (2.00 / 0) #33 Mon Aug 22, 2011 at 10:12:40 AM EST
Age Isn't Awful An Insult by CheeseburgerBrown (2.00 / 0) #32 Mon Aug 22, 2011 at 10:11:56 AM EST
I hate assuming it is. I'd rather not give people baggage they're not necessarily carrying.


Science-fiction wallah, storytelling gorilla, man wearing a hat: Cheeseburger Brown.
[ Parent ]
First digit rollover? by marvin (2.00 / 0) #4 Fri Aug 19, 2011 at 12:50:30 PM EST
Got one of those coming up next week myself.

Me too by LoppEar (4.00 / 1) #6 Fri Aug 19, 2011 at 02:04:39 PM EST
it wouldn't be a big deal if people didn't keep making it a big deal for me..


[ Parent ]
I Hate Birthday Fuss by CheeseburgerBrown (2.00 / 0) #31 Mon Aug 22, 2011 at 10:10:14 AM EST
If Jokey tries to give me an exploding box, I'm totally throwing his punk-ass clear out of the village.


Science-fiction wallah, storytelling gorilla, man wearing a hat: Cheeseburger Brown.
[ Parent ]
Not Heavily Into Numerology by CheeseburgerBrown (4.00 / 1) #30 Mon Aug 22, 2011 at 10:09:33 AM EST
I have no anniversaries near, and the next one isn't a doozy.

They're just numbers.

The sigh-like noise my neurology makes as it settles into a sinewy hammock of slow decay, on the other hand, is very actual.


Science-fiction wallah, storytelling gorilla, man wearing a hat: Cheeseburger Brown.
[ Parent ]
Yeah, getting old here too. by lolwhat (4.00 / 0) #5 Fri Aug 19, 2011 at 01:27:24 PM EST
And it's amazing just how many people are passive-aggressive these days.
--
If cigarette packs are required to have pictures of diseased lungs, college brochures should be required to have photos of grads working at Starbucks.
Is That New? by CheeseburgerBrown (2.00 / 0) #29 Mon Aug 22, 2011 at 10:07:25 AM EST
I hadn't been aware that passive-aggressive behaviour was a recent innovation.


Science-fiction wallah, storytelling gorilla, man wearing a hat: Cheeseburger Brown.
[ Parent ]
Oooh... by Gedvondur (4.00 / 1) #7 Fri Aug 19, 2011 at 02:37:21 PM EST
I'm gonna vote for the French one in the poll, 'cause I'm too American to know what it means.


"So I will be hitting the snatch hard, I think, tonight." - gzt
Are you talking about the last one? by marvin (2.00 / 0) #8 Fri Aug 19, 2011 at 03:34:03 PM EST
That's not French. Never heard of the maritimes?

[ Parent ]
It was just a joke, son. Just a joke. n/t by Gedvondur (2.00 / 0) #9 Fri Aug 19, 2011 at 03:36:24 PM EST


"So I will be hitting the snatch hard, I think, tonight." - gzt
[ Parent ]
The maritimes? by Driusan (2.00 / 0) #18 Sat Aug 20, 2011 at 11:10:37 AM EST
You mean dat place der where dey speak french?

--
Vive le Montréal libre.
[ Parent ]
It's like the bayous, but north by marvin (2.00 / 0) #19 Sat Aug 20, 2011 at 02:25:04 PM EST
Fewer crayfish, more lobsters.

[ Parent ]
They Have A French, Too! by CheeseburgerBrown (2.00 / 0) #28 Mon Aug 22, 2011 at 10:02:30 AM EST
The French One Says "French" In It by CheeseburgerBrown (2.00 / 0) #27 Mon Aug 22, 2011 at 10:01:54 AM EST
The dead giveaway is the use of a pork product as a personal pronoun.


Science-fiction wallah, storytelling gorilla, man wearing a hat: Cheeseburger Brown.
[ Parent ]
Heh. by Breaker (4.00 / 1) #14 Fri Aug 19, 2011 at 05:18:45 PM EST
Happy Birthday, CBB.

I hope you have a great time with your lovely kids, then leave the old olds in charge whilst you have a great time with your lovely wife.


It's My Unbirthday, You Insensitive Clod by CheeseburgerBrown (2.00 / 0) #25 Mon Aug 22, 2011 at 09:59:23 AM EST
I will be old tomorrow by jimgon (2.00 / 0) #16 Fri Aug 19, 2011 at 09:38:15 PM EST
And I agree with pretty much everything you wrote.  Damn you. 




---------------
Technician - "We can't even get decent physical health care. Mental health is like witchcraft here."
Please Note: by CheeseburgerBrown (2.00 / 0) #24 Mon Aug 22, 2011 at 09:58:43 AM EST
If I ever post one of these things that include any version of "a young man is a liberal if he has any heart, and an old man a conservative if he has any brains" please understand that it is my eager wish to be exterminated immediately in the messiest way possible.

Thank you.


Science-fiction wallah, storytelling gorilla, man wearing a hat: Cheeseburger Brown.
[ Parent ]
intellect and romance over brute force and cynicis by garlic (2.00 / 0) #36 Mon Aug 22, 2011 at 10:50:13 AM EST
m.


[ Parent ]
What Beats That? by CheeseburgerBrown (2.00 / 0) #37 Mon Aug 22, 2011 at 10:56:40 AM EST
You have a contract by jimgon (2.00 / 0) #40 Mon Aug 22, 2011 at 08:29:45 PM EST
I'm pretty sure I can elude the Mounties long enough to get away.  After all they're Canadian.




---------------
Technician - "We can't even get decent physical health care. Mental health is like witchcraft here."
[ Parent ]
people should just shut up by BadDoggie (4.00 / 1) #20 Sat Aug 20, 2011 at 04:24:49 PM EST
You could have stopped there.

One of my RL friends discovered your writing a couple of weeks ago. She's two levels of management above me so this could be... interesting.

woof.

Jesus Christ you're a tool -- Dr Thrustgood

BadDoggie Is A Loyal Minion by CheeseburgerBrown (2.00 / 0) #23 Mon Aug 22, 2011 at 09:56:41 AM EST
Once, when I asked BadDoggie if I should steal a company pen he not only said no but paid for me to sent away to a special camp for relearning what I had inadvertently unlearned.

Man -- what a worker!


Science-fiction wallah, storytelling gorilla, man wearing a hat: Cheeseburger Brown.
[ Parent ]
No, you shut up [n/t] by Herring (2.00 / 0) #41 Tue Aug 23, 2011 at 10:34:11 AM EST


You can't inspire people with facts
- Small Gods

[ Parent ]
This whole list is genius. by technician (4.00 / 1) #21 Sun Aug 21, 2011 at 04:23:21 PM EST
I dunno, but I've always suspected Gandalf as a 20 year old was an insufferable douche.

Also Cruising For a Smack: by CheeseburgerBrown (4.00 / 2) #22 Mon Aug 22, 2011 at 09:55:08 AM EST
It's a Waste of Valuable Time by CheeseburgerBrown (4.00 / 0) #26 Mon Aug 22, 2011 at 10:00:13 AM EST
That's why Sir Isaac Newton died with that sour look pursed into his lips.


Science-fiction wallah, storytelling gorilla, man wearing a hat: Cheeseburger Brown.
Pop music really *is* dreadful by Bob Abooey (4.00 / 1) #38 Mon Aug 22, 2011 at 04:51:02 PM EST
~nt~

Warmest regards,
--Your best pal Bob

How's my blogging: Call me at 209.867.5309 to complain.

I Know, Eh? by CheeseburgerBrown (4.00 / 1) #39 Mon Aug 22, 2011 at 04:56:49 PM EST