Bent the rules too far   1 vote - 100 %
Wrote so badly the ruse was obscured   0 votes - 0 %
Hm, interesting   1 vote - 100 %
1 Total Votes
Ok, I am stupid by spacejack (4.00 / 1) #2 Wed Apr 09, 2008 at 01:48:59 PM EST
For a while I was thinking Realdoll? Or maybe a sci-fi Realdoll? And then at the end I was just confused.

Not a bad idea now that I get it.

Overstating the case... by ObviousTroll (2.00 / 0) #3 Thu Apr 10, 2008 at 11:15:38 AM EST
So there's this idea that men don't actually see the women the ogle. It has some traction, I think, judging from my own experience. They're treated as screens onto which the party of the first part (the ogler) projects fantasies of his own fascination onto the party of the second part (the oglee). Thereby, arguably, depriving $her of personhood, at least in $his eyes. It is to thing.

See, where women get confused is that they seem to think this is a (semi-)conscious action on the part of the man - no doubt inculcated during early sessions with the patriarchy.

The truth is that the behavior is no more conscious than  breathing - it happens automatically, and requires a conscious effort to *stop* doing it.

You might as well ask my cats why they stare at the birds outside.

Has anybody seen my clue? I know I had it when I came in here.

if I had written a review by Kellnerin (4.00 / 1) #4 Thu Apr 10, 2008 at 03:06:24 PM EST
it would have said: "Man-made, yes, but far from inanimate." As I recall, we had a bit of a discussion of what the spirit of the WFC was, which makes sense after reading your entry :)

I don't know if there's a "too far" to bend a theme, but I think what happened here was that the story equalled the idea. It didn't push the implications of a person being thinged beyond what I already brought to the story coming in (so maybe this is just my subjective experience). It was more like "Existence" where the inner life of a balloon turns out to be just about what I thought it would be, unlike "For Now We See" or "Dian Bling" that cast a different light on things in our kitchens, or "People Have Their Uses" that focused on a thing I would never have imagined, or even "George" that used the humble narrator to comment on various interactions and intersections between people.

I also noted that yours and "Existence" were the only ones with descriptions on the upload site. I think since it's a new feature that it'll take a while for people to know how to use it well, how to provide a bit of extra information that enhances the story without either giving it away or restating something that should be clear from the story. It'll be interesting to see if this evolves in future WFCs.

"Late to the party" is the new "ahead of the curve" -- CRwM

Indeed. by ana (4.00 / 1) #5 Thu Apr 10, 2008 at 03:53:11 PM EST
The character I end up wondering about is Benny, the bouncer. The MC really didn't wanna do anything, and maybe that's the point: her life dead-ended a while ago. But she's not quite a flat enough character for this challenge.

"And this ... is a piece of Synergy." --Kellnerin

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