Cortez the killer, the well known conquistadore, destroyer of worlds, neo-Friedmanian Chicago-school economist, loud-talker in public mens' rooms, philosopher, guardian of the peace, theologian of suspect credentials, barbeque connaisseur, board-certified steamboat mechanic, sympathetic ear, weaver, banjo enthusiast, aspiring fashion designer with a good chance of appearing soon on Project Runway, and longboard smallwave surfriding champion (seniors division), recently joined the local fire department & was assigned to the ladder truck, colloquially known as Tower One. Among the responsibilities of ladder companies is ensuring the ventilation of burning houses. This means climbing atop the roof of a house on fire with a running chainsaw and cutting a great big hole in it to let out the hot gasses (along with flame and smoke--unwanted but inevitable).
Cortez had a drill today to practice cutting holes in roofs. Nobody told him he was supposed to return the chain saw.
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