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Working life
By ReallyEvilCanine (Tue May 19, 2009 at 08:45:53 AM EST) A Day in the Life, WTF, performance, SQL Server, fuckwits, pie (all tags)
Go Bother Ballmer

You have a car. The engine is knocking. It gets shitty mileage. It takes 40 seconds to get up to speed after stopping at a red light. All of a sudden you hear a bang and see a hole punched through the hood, the piston having been thrown. Do you then call Michelin to bitch about your problems? You do if you work for $PrivateFinanceAdvisors, with the logic that the tire company ought to be able to fix the problem that's causing the tires to turn too slowly.

x-posted to da brog.


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Working life
By ReallyEvilCanine (Thu May 14, 2009 at 09:24:09 AM EST) A Day in the Life, WTF, weekend duty, torrents, LOL What, pie (all tags)
Sunday Bloody Sunday

"Yo, Dawg!"

It's Freddo. This can't be good. It never is.

"You gotta help me, mate!"

I gotta?? I never saw any clause in my contract which read "Der Arbeitnehmer ist verpflichtet, Freddo zu helfen wenn er dringend bittet oder den Begriff 'mate' verwendet".

"You're not doing anything this weekend, are you?"

I dunno... relaxing, cleaning, catching up on My Name is Earl, downloading kitty pr0n... I have 18Mb broadband; the possibilities are endless.


Poll inside.
x-posted to da brog.



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Working life
By ReallyEvilCanine (Wed May 13, 2009 at 10:41:54 AM EST) A Day in the Life, WTF, Geography, India, Americas, APAC, EMEA, fuckwits, pie (all tags)
Geography

When your company is one of many that divides the world up into three regions -- Americas, EMEA and APAC --  which region should be responsible for the nimrods in an outsourced Bangalore sweatshop of a server room? Go on, guess.

Includes a poll.
x-posted to da brog.


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By ReallyEvilCanine (Tue Jan 27, 2009 at 03:28:16 AM EST) A Day in the Life, WTF, cow-orkers, fuckwits, pie (all tags)
Lock & Load

A new sign from some department here in the zoo has been hung everywhere: in the break rooms, kitchens, coffee corners, wherever monkeys may gather.


Includes poll
x-posted to da brog.


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Diary
By ReallyEvilCanine (Wed Nov 26, 2008 at 03:40:45 AM EST) A Day in the Life, WTF, heart, cow-orkers, fuckwits, pie (all tags)
Cow-Orkers XVIII: Shrek

There are few actually cool people working for us. Back in the days of $BigCorp I constantly thought, "What a group of social fuck-ups," but then I realised I was also one of the group and was most likely similarly odd. Despite certain historically cool factor things about me, I was one of the dysfunctional. I hung out with a few other miscreants until they, one by one, left. Only a couple of tolerable people remained.

Then $MegaCorp bought us and I found out how truly fucked up software programmers, engineers and support people could be. Ripa seemed tame by comparison. No wonder I'd spent so many years avoiding corporate life. Small wonder I'm trying to figure out how the hell to get out of it again.

Poll: Cherry Poppin' Daddies
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Diary
By ReallyEvilCanine (Thu Nov 20, 2008 at 03:29:00 AM EST) A Day in the Life, WTF, RTFM, prom dress, fuckwits, pie (all tags)
Reading is Fundamental

My day started out shit by not getting out of bed at 7:30 like a good little monkey. It got a lot shittier when I actually did get out of bed because my hot, redheaded bitch was still under the covers, nekkid. The shit continued as I walked to work in the rain, then had to stand outside the door in that rain for a few minutes as a crane worked on moving the pile of carpet rolls blocking the entrance to the Panopticon. Only once I walked into the office and logged in did I find out the true meaning of a shit day (excluding those days Lassie isn't around), and not just because nobody had bothered to make any coffay.

x-posted to da brog.


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Working life
By ReallyEvilCanine (Thu Nov 13, 2008 at 03:42:47 AM EST) A Day in the Life, WTF, surveys, whisk(e)y, fuckwits, pie (all tags)
Exceptional

I just got a Superior Service Selection notification. Some customer filled out the damned survey and offered high praise. He even wrote a glowing comment. I looked up the ticket number and saw it was something I not only didn't spend five minutes on, the guy found the problem himself (though using my guidance). It was a simple thing, easy to overlook.

So why am I pissed off about this?

Poll: whisk(e)y peating levels
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The Stupid Hurts

I've been gone for a while. It started with being sick, then going to a course, then vacation, then getting sick again and by that time moving to a happy place. I've been in such a very happy place that I haven't been able to muster the anger necessary to write about this shit. Until today...

x-posted to da brog.


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Falco

Revolutionary or a populist guy?
The people love Chavez and I understand why
Stabilised the economy but messed around with their clocks
And that one knocked off of my socks:
Come on and rock me Venezuela.
Venezuela, Venezuela, Venezuela.
Venezuela, Venezuela, Venezuela.
Venezuela, Venezuela, Venezuela.
Oh oh oh Venezuela.

Poll: I dug out original Unreal Tournament
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Working life
By ReallyEvilCanine (Tue Jul 29, 2008 at 04:34:47 AM EST) A Day in the Life, WTF, Oracle, SAP, theft, fuckwits, pie (all tags)
A Hot Market

The Panopticon -- designed like a giant greenhouse -- is well over 30┬░ today. I have a massive backlog, more than a dozen callbacks and two full repros I have to build, and fuckwitted baby-talking cow-orkers. No fucking air conditioning. Still, this isn't the worst place in Germany to be working. This is, an office around 300km northwest of here. I could almost feel sorry for Sven D├╝sterhaus.

Recommended reading poll
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(4 comments, 512 words in story) Full Story

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