It may have come to certain of our members' attention that, with the defeat of our Association Football collective at the hands of the Tsarists, England are in grave danger of not qualifying for next year's European Championships in the Austro-Swissenland.

In this brief pamphlet, we seek to advance the thesis that this may, in fact, be no bad thing.

Yet again, it's time to dip into the bulging mailbag and see what our devoted listeners have sent us this week.

Sometimes not.

Most of you, I imagine, are familiar with the popular brand of Kentucky straight bourbon known as Jim Beam.

Morning.

• Politics is sick
• Movie reviews
• Fantasy football
• Stuff
• Dave Chappelle
• Silly poll

Not that these are necessarily contained within; I just assert their existence.

Intro Things Proper

Do you ever feel mentally ill, or like causing a hullabaloo?

Stuff, things, items and their ilk.

Not much, really; mostly whales.

It's Monday. It's February. Nobody here is particularly in the mood for work, least of all me. MisterQueue has been scarce of face-showing recently, so I arbitrarily nominate myself as his stand-in apparent.

It's about time we got some Queuestions a Yiquisition going.

Questions within. All of them music-related. Answer them.

Good; glad to have got your attention.

As mentioned, I need a woman. Just getting any woman will not be good enough, however.

I need a woman who:

• can sing
• has a naturally high-ish register
• can manage a range between A4 and A5 [see comments] (come on, that's only an octave; ObHowHardCanItBe?)
• sounds like heaven-with-bells-on (we're prepared to work with some leeway on this one)
• has the facility and ability to record herself singing (in a highish-quality, digital format) and get said data to me.
• wants her name attached to an MFC entry, without having to do very much work at all.
• Can work without lyrics (i.e. lalala, doo-doo-doo, Mmm-mmm-mmm etc.)

Being an interstellar harmonic sex-bomb siren isn't obligatory, but if you've got it, why hide it?

If you think you've got what it takes, apply within (otherwise your part risks being replaced by a synthesizer or piano, and that would be a d'yam shame).