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Diary
By ReallyEvilCanine (Wed Nov 26, 2008 at 03:40:45 AM EST) A Day in the Life, WTF, heart, cow-orkers, fuckwits, pie (all tags)
Cow-Orkers XVIII: Shrek

There are few actually cool people working for us. Back in the days of $BigCorp I constantly thought, "What a group of social fuck-ups," but then I realised I was also one of the group and was most likely similarly odd. Despite certain historically cool factor things about me, I was one of the dysfunctional. I hung out with a few other miscreants until they, one by one, left. Only a couple of tolerable people remained.

Then $MegaCorp bought us and I found out how truly fucked up software programmers, engineers and support people could be. Ripa seemed tame by comparison. No wonder I'd spent so many years avoiding corporate life. Small wonder I'm trying to figure out how the hell to get out of it again.

Poll: Cherry Poppin' Daddies
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By ReallyEvilCanine (Thu Nov 20, 2008 at 03:29:00 AM EST) A Day in the Life, WTF, RTFM, prom dress, fuckwits, pie (all tags)
Reading is Fundamental

My day started out shit by not getting out of bed at 7:30 like a good little monkey. It got a lot shittier when I actually did get out of bed because my hot, redheaded bitch was still under the covers, nekkid. The shit continued as I walked to work in the rain, then had to stand outside the door in that rain for a few minutes as a crane worked on moving the pile of carpet rolls blocking the entrance to the Panopticon. Only once I walked into the office and logged in did I find out the true meaning of a shit day (excluding those days Lassie isn't around), and not just because nobody had bothered to make any coffay.

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By ReallyEvilCanine (Thu Nov 13, 2008 at 03:42:47 AM EST) A Day in the Life, WTF, surveys, whisk(e)y, fuckwits, pie (all tags)
Exceptional

I just got a Superior Service Selection notification. Some customer filled out the damned survey and offered high praise. He even wrote a glowing comment. I looked up the ticket number and saw it was something I not only didn't spend five minutes on, the guy found the problem himself (though using my guidance). It was a simple thing, easy to overlook.

So why am I pissed off about this?

Poll: whisk(e)y peating levels
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The Stupid Hurts

I've been gone for a while. It started with being sick, then going to a course, then vacation, then getting sick again and by that time moving to a happy place. I've been in such a very happy place that I haven't been able to muster the anger necessary to write about this shit. Until today...

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Falco

Revolutionary or a populist guy?
The people love Chavez and I understand why
Stabilised the economy but messed around with their clocks
And that one knocked off of my socks:
Come on and rock me Venezuela.
Venezuela, Venezuela, Venezuela.
Venezuela, Venezuela, Venezuela.
Venezuela, Venezuela, Venezuela.
Oh oh oh Venezuela.

Poll: I dug out original Unreal Tournament
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By ReallyEvilCanine (Tue Jul 29, 2008 at 04:34:47 AM EST) A Day in the Life, WTF, Oracle, SAP, theft, fuckwits, pie (all tags)
A Hot Market

The Panopticon -- designed like a giant greenhouse -- is well over 30┬░ today. I have a massive backlog, more than a dozen callbacks and two full repros I have to build, and fuckwitted baby-talking cow-orkers. No fucking air conditioning. Still, this isn't the worst place in Germany to be working. This is, an office around 300km northwest of here. I could almost feel sorry for Sven D├╝sterhaus.

Recommended reading poll
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By ReallyEvilCanine (Mon Jul 28, 2008 at 03:05:08 AM EST) A Day in the Life, WTF, load balancing, Citrix, fuckwits, pie (all tags)
Density

The day the we figure out how to run cars on stupidity is the day the derricks go up in Paris. I simply can't comprehend how so much dumb can be crammed into one head.

If you're unable to do telephone banking because there's no fucking dial tone, the French thing to do would be to blame the bank. It must be the bank's fault and couldn't possibly have anything to do with the months of unpaid phone bills.

Poll: capital punishment
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By ReallyEvilCanine (Thu Jul 10, 2008 at 05:22:49 AM EST) A Day in the Life, WTF, Mini-Me, The System, training, fuckwits, pie (all tags)

I have three days to catch up on all my tickets which no one looked at during my entire week of training. Customers are pissed. I've been officially pulled out of The System. Nevertheless, there's a Ticket Assignment Notification which just showed up in my mailbox. The System knows best.

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By ReallyEvilCanine (Mon Jul 07, 2008 at 04:08:38 AM EST) A Day in the Life, SQL, DBA, training, Oracle, shit coffay, WTF, pie (all tags)
Training III: An Open Letter to Oracle

Dear Oracle,

Classroom training's cool. The free lunch isn't too bad either (for fans of MSG anyway). A week away from my normal hell is also pretty fucking sweet. So please don't take this the wrong way...

Squishy German candy poll!
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By ReallyEvilCanine (Fri Jul 04, 2008 at 01:45:32 AM EST) A Day in the Life, WTF, Nazi jokes, databases, training, pie (all tags)
Training II: LOL Nazis

So I'm sitting through another day of Stuff I Already Know and the teacher, a nice enough Genoan guy who mangles both German and English without prejudice is going over the new syntax and abilities in 11g. We're dropping tables but wait! There's a foreign key! What to do?

My response didn't go over so well.

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