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By Gedvondur (Mon Jul 24, 2017 at 10:15:47 AM EST) (all tags)
Fair warning, I am going to discuss the loss of a pet. If you are sensitive I suggest you skip this. I wish I could. I’m sorry to burden you my friends, but I need this to try and manage my grief because right now it’s incapacitating me

 We lost our little Zuzu last night. We held her as they pushed in the red liquid that eased her to sleep. We whispered into her ear how good a dog she was, how much we loved her. She slipped away in our arms, the best end we could give her.

Now afterwards, we are lost.

Six years ago, one of the ladies at the doggy daycare where we kept our pug during the day handed me a little french bulldog puppy. She was black and white with a blaze of white on her head and chest. She had been dropped off by her owners, who had kept her in a crate for 20 hours a day and couldn’t take care of her. She also had seizures. I was taken. I went home and told my wife about her, and we took our pug to meet her.

The next day, we brought home a little French bulldog, who, we were told, had easily controllable seizures. She was stubborn and cute to a fault and about six months old. We worked on her training, took her to puppy class and worked on house breaking her. The seizures….well they got worse. And worse. Until we were at a doggy neurologist, after almost losing her to cluster seizures.

One MRI later, and we learn that our little puppy has hydrocephalus, more commonly referred to as water on the brain. Her spinal fluid couldn’t freely flow from her brain to her spine. It was a genetic defect and it was clear that she had come from some horrible puppy mill. See, French bulldogs, as cute as they are, are a genetic nightmare.

It was upsetting, to say the least. 95% of dogs that have hydrocephalus are put down because they are profoundly retarded, cannot be house trained, and some of them cannot even really function. But Zuzu functioned and while she he her problems, she was paper trained. (BTW, Costco sells very good puppy papers on the cheap and in bulk.)

We got more drugs for little Zuzu, but we knew that her condition meant that the chances that she lived out the typical lifespan of a French bulldog, 10-12 years, was unlikely. One of Zuzu’s issues was that she was uninterested in treats….this dog turned her nose up at a chunk of hot dog once. She also really didn’t swallow pills. She’d spit them out, or hang them up in her voluminous cheeks. The brain damage made her an inefficient eater and drinker. So we had her drugs compounded into liquids where we could and gave them to her orally in a syringe. It was messy and time consuming, but it worked.

She got, on average, four drugs three times a day at eight hour intervals. More, if she had a seizure. The costs of her drugs was about that of a car payment a month. We really couldn’t go on vacations. My parents had to watch her while I was sick and in the hospital. She was a handful.

But you know what she really was? She was a little stubborn delight. She still loved us, despite us giving her all of those drugs which couldn’t have tasted very good. We had some of them compounded with flavors, but you couldn't do it for all of them. She followed us around, slept in our arms, and despite initial aloofness, wanted to be held and cuddled. She was funny and obsessed with cars to the point where we couldn’t go to a dog park where there were moving visible cars, she’s chase along the fence at full speed until we stopped her. She made funny grunting sounds and between her and our pug the snoring was truly intense.

She was a sweet, gentle, uncomplaining little dog who despite her short time with us provided a richness and fullness that was worth all the worry, time and expense. In the end, she went much more gently than my fears. A combination of a worsening of her condition and pneumonia lead us to say our last goodbyes. She was sleeping in my wife’s arms while I petted her and rubbed her ears. She went gently. I’m grateful for that and even now as I feel like I will never be happy again, I’m grateful for the little dog I picked up and fell for on a whim.
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I'm sorry, it's hard to lose a good dog by georgeha (4.00 / 3) #1 Mon Jul 24, 2017 at 10:35:50 AM EST

Thanks, GH by Gedvondur (2.00 / 0) #2 Mon Jul 24, 2017 at 11:48:59 AM EST
I appreciate it.  I hate to lay this heavy shit out like this, but  I need to get it out and I've got nowhere else to go with it.

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I totally get it by georgeha (4.00 / 1) #3 Mon Jul 24, 2017 at 11:55:32 AM EST
all four of us were clustered around our cat, just over a year ago, as the vet killed her. I liked that cat, but she decided to commit suicide when we changed her food, eating was her big pleasure. Feline hepatic lidiposis is a tough disease to treat.

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don't hate it man by aphrael (4.00 / 2) #10 Mon Jul 24, 2017 at 05:18:03 PM EST
Thanks Aph by Gedvondur (2.00 / 0) #11 Mon Jul 24, 2017 at 05:37:56 PM EST
I appreciate it. It's been a hard few days.

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I'm very sorry by ucblockhead (4.00 / 1) #4 Mon Jul 24, 2017 at 12:16:02 PM EST
Losing a pet sucks.
[ucblockhead is] useless and subhuman
It really does by Gedvondur (2.00 / 0) #7 Mon Jul 24, 2017 at 03:39:46 PM EST
Thank you!

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:-( by ana (4.00 / 1) #5 Mon Jul 24, 2017 at 01:12:04 PM EST
So sorry to hear this. When you've been loved by a dog, you'll stay loved.

Or get rabies. Also don't do that. --scrymarch

Thank you. n/t by Gedvondur (2.00 / 0) #8 Mon Jul 24, 2017 at 03:40:17 PM EST

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I'm so sorry by iGrrrl (4.00 / 1) #6 Mon Jul 24, 2017 at 02:13:44 PM EST
You did more than right by her.

"Beautiful wine, talking of scattered everythings"
(and thanks to Scrymarch)

We did our best by Gedvondur (2.00 / 0) #9 Mon Jul 24, 2017 at 03:40:45 PM EST
Thank you, I do appreciate it.

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