So my father had been in poor and declining health for a long time. He can't be looked after at home so was in a nearby nursing home. He's had Parkinson's, Lewy Bodies Dementia, and was on his second bout of prostate cancer. He hasn't been able to walk since he had a fall a few years ago, and hasn't been able to read a book properly for a while. A lung infection seems to have been the last straw and he died on Thursday.
I went down on Wednesday, but he wasn't able to communicate, he just mumbled a few words. On Thursday morning he was breathing harshly: I stayed with him and suggested my mother leave and get things done, I thought he might have days left based on my experience with my grandmother. I played some Beethoven and read him some poetry from his Roger McGough book. His breathing started to sound more normal and for a bit I thought he might be recovering a little, but it kept fading. Eventually a nurse opened the door to check on him, I said "I think he's stopped breathing", she checked his pulse and he was gone.
Emotionally, I tend to have a delayed reaction to these things. When my grandmother died I felt fine for about a week then completely broke down on a random train journey. So far I don't really feel anything much, but I expect it will hit at some point. I've been quite busy so far, went back to work on Friday as planned, will save my compassionate leave for the funeral trip.
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