Print Story And thus passes his spirit and speaks he no more
By TheophileEscargot (Fri Oct 06, 2017 at 12:07:03 PM EST) Me (all tags)

So my father had been in poor and declining health for a long time. He can't be looked after at home so was in a nearby nursing home. He's had Parkinson's, Lewy Bodies Dementia, and was on his second bout of prostate cancer. He hasn't been able to walk since he had a fall a few years ago, and hasn't been able to read a book properly for a while. A lung infection seems to have been the last straw and he died on Thursday.

I went down on Wednesday, but he wasn't able to communicate, he just mumbled a few words. On Thursday morning he was breathing harshly: I stayed with him and suggested my mother leave and get things done, I thought he might have days left based on my experience with my grandmother. I played some Beethoven and read him some poetry from his Roger McGough book. His breathing started to sound more normal and for a bit I thought he might be recovering a little, but it kept fading. Eventually a nurse opened the door to check on him, I said "I think he's stopped breathing", she checked his pulse and he was gone.

Emotionally, I tend to have a delayed reaction to these things. When my grandmother died I felt fine for about a week then completely broke down on a random train journey. So far I don't really feel anything much, but I expect it will hit at some point. I've been quite busy so far, went back to work on Friday as planned, will save my compassionate leave for the funeral trip.

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And thus passes his spirit and speaks he no more | 18 comments (18 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
Sorry to hear it. by ana (4.00 / 2) #1 Fri Oct 06, 2017 at 01:36:52 PM EST
It's hard to let go, even when it's expected, and possibly a mercy.

Take your time; each loss is different, as different as the love for the people involved.

Or get rabies. Also don't do that. --scrymarch

Condolences by Herring (4.00 / 2) #2 Fri Oct 06, 2017 at 01:52:49 PM EST
It does take a while to sink in.

Look after yourself.

You can't inspire people with facts
- Small Gods

I'm sorry for your loss by georgeha (4.00 / 2) #3 Fri Oct 06, 2017 at 02:18:58 PM EST
it sounds like you made his passing a little more bearable.

I'm so sorry. by clock (4.00 / 2) #4 Fri Oct 06, 2017 at 03:03:17 PM EST
I wish you and yours peace.

I agree with clock entirely --Kellnerin

That fucking sucks by darkbrown (4.00 / 2) #5 Fri Oct 06, 2017 at 03:12:36 PM EST

I'm very sorry by ucblockhead (4.00 / 2) #6 Fri Oct 06, 2017 at 05:10:34 PM EST
deepest sympathies
[ucblockhead is] useless and subhuman
Sorry to hear that dude by priestess (4.00 / 2) #7 Sat Oct 07, 2017 at 04:15:09 AM EST
Condolences. Life's a bitch and then it ends. :(
Chat to the virtual me...
Sorry for your loss by me0w (4.00 / 2) #8 Sat Oct 07, 2017 at 08:02:26 AM EST
*big hugs*

Sorry for your loss. by hulver (4.00 / 2) #9 Sat Oct 07, 2017 at 10:50:47 AM EST

Cheese is not a hat. - clock
I'm so sorry by Gedvondur (4.00 / 2) #10 Sat Oct 07, 2017 at 04:38:06 PM EST
Thinking about you.

So sorry by dev trash (4.00 / 2) #11 Sun Oct 08, 2017 at 12:06:04 AM EST
My Dad is now in a home and....ugh

My condolences by jimgon (4.00 / 2) #12 Sun Oct 08, 2017 at 12:08:30 AM EST
When my brother died I didn’t cry until I heard a Queen song. The first time I heard a Queen song it was an album my brother owned.  I cried hearing Bohemian Rhapsody in the car. It will come. You will be better. Stoics don’t stop feeling emotion, they suppress responding to it. It surfaces at odd times. Be well my friend. You have my sympathies.

Technician - "We can't even get decent physical health care. Mental health is like witchcraft here."
So sorry, man by wiredog (4.00 / 2) #13 Sun Oct 08, 2017 at 10:28:26 AM EST

Earth First!
(We can strip mine the rest later.)

So sorry by ambrosen (4.00 / 2) #14 Sun Oct 08, 2017 at 01:23:50 PM EST
Thinking about you. And I can't remember if he lived in Stockport or Bristol. But if it's Bristol and there's any time you need a quiet pint or something driven somewhere, please do contact me.

I'm so sorry by miserere (4.00 / 2) #15 Sun Oct 08, 2017 at 04:59:41 PM EST
And I'm glad you were able to be with him. Peace be with you and you and your family.

I'm sorry by yankeehack (4.00 / 2) #16 Mon Oct 09, 2017 at 01:22:08 PM EST

"...she dares to indulge in the secret sport. You can't be a MILF with the F, at least in part because the M is predicated upon it."-CBB
I'm sorry by iGrrrl (4.00 / 2) #17 Tue Oct 10, 2017 at 08:37:54 AM EST
It's a profound thing to be with someone at their death.

"Beautiful wine, talking of scattered everythings"
(and thanks to Scrymarch)

Very late condolences. n/t by Metatone (4.00 / 1) #18 Mon Oct 23, 2017 at 01:49:57 AM EST

And thus passes his spirit and speaks he no more | 18 comments (18 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback