Print Story Fifty Shades of Anonimouse
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By anonimouse (Sat Feb 21, 2015 at 04:09:21 AM EST) fifty shades of disappointing (all tags)


Despite good reviews by The Telegraph, this film sucked balls.

I had the misfortune to read Twilight, and came away with the impression that the lead characters were so wet and drippy you could grow watercress on them, and so it was with Anna and Christian. Jamie Dornan doesn't seem to have any sort of a commanding presence that I'd expect in such a character, and I can't see what attracts Anna to the billionaire Christian.

Not certain but did I see a plot hole? Christian Grey drives Anna round in an Audi sports car in Seattle which somehow magically gets to Georgia the next minute by rainbows and unicorns.

About the only time I got turned on is when CurvyGirl asked if I was going to go to her graduation (in 2 years).

I think I'm going to have to go back and watch 9 1/2 Weeks to see if my memory of it is making it a better film than it was.

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The problem with softcore porn by gmd (4.00 / 3) #1 Sat Feb 21, 2015 at 05:05:07 AM EST
 Is that people who don't like porn don't like it, and people that do like porn don't like it. What is the point?

as for the BDSM lite, without wanting to sound elitist, it's all a bit 'tame'.


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gmd - HuSi's second most dimwitted overprivileged user.
50 Shades started life as Twilight fanfic by lm (2.00 / 0) #2 Sat Feb 21, 2015 at 08:05:41 AM EST
So there you go.

The most positive review I've seen of the film damned it with faint praise by saying that it was a much better film adaptation than the book deserved.


There is no more degenerate kind of state than that in which the richest are supposed to be the best.
Cicero, The Republic
Yes I know by anonimouse (2.00 / 0) #5 Sat Feb 21, 2015 at 02:13:04 PM EST
 I was interested to read this explanation on Reddit outlining how it came about

Girls come and go but a mortgage is for 25 years -- JtL
[ Parent ]
Thank You by yankeehack (4.00 / 2) #3 Sat Feb 21, 2015 at 10:44:26 AM EST
at least someone else remembers 9 1/2 Weeks.

Now, if we could just talk Red Shoe Diaries.
"...she dares to indulge in the secret sport. You can't be a MILF with the F, at least in part because the M is predicated upon it."-CBB

Christian Grey by me0w (4.00 / 1) #4 Sat Feb 21, 2015 at 02:03:17 PM EST
I watched him throughout the movie and I think the look he was supposed o be going for was intimidating -- but he looked like he was constipated or was trying not to shit his pants. I couldn't quite decide.


"the only reason we PMS is because our uterus is screaming at our brain to go out, get fucked, and have a baby ... and it makes us angry."

If you want mainstream S&M movies by gmd (2.00 / 0) #6 Sat Feb 21, 2015 at 07:31:56 PM EST
I would recommend something like The Pet



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gmd - HuSi's second most dimwitted overprivileged user.
As came across my Twitter feed... by iGrrrl (4.00 / 2) #7 Sun Feb 22, 2015 at 08:54:06 PM EST
@ThisisMikeyy: Fifty shades of grey is romantic only because the guy is a billionaire. If he was living in a trailer it would be a Criminal minds episode.

"Beautiful wine, talking of scattered everythings"
(and thanks to Scrymarch)

Criminal Minds... by belldandi (4.00 / 1) #8 Mon Feb 23, 2015 at 03:54:10 PM EST
Why's he got to dis Criminal Minds?

[ Parent ]
Reminds me of Debbie McGee by Metatone (2.00 / 0) #9 Tue Feb 24, 2015 at 08:20:33 AM EST
(from Wiki)

McGee was a guest on The Mrs Merton Show when she was famously asked, "So, what first attracted you to the millionaire Paul Daniels?"

You answered your own quesiton. by Gedvondur (2.00 / 0) #10 Fri Feb 27, 2015 at 01:07:44 PM EST
"I can't see what attracts Anna to the billionaire Christian."

billionaire Christian
billionaire Christian
billionaire Christian
billionaire Christian
billionaire Christian


Now you know what attracted Anna to him.


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