Print Story Teenagers, man, TEENAGERS
Diary
By yankeehack (Sun Nov 01, 2015 at 08:00:20 AM EST) (all tags)
Goddamn mother-effing teenagers.


Goddamnit.

It's been a week with LO. She's been acting kind of weird - in the alternate crying (which she never does) and flying into a rage. A week peppered with accomplishments and whatnot.

Last weekend, she lost the gas cap to my car while running errands. She only figured it out on Sunday when she took the car that night to go do something with her friends. I gave her a fair amount of crap for it, as the car has a holder where you put the gas cap while filling. She had to totally literally forget that the gas tank panel was open and get into the car and drive. (The cap lanyard broke last year when she was first learning how to fill the tank.) Anyway, LO burst into tears...and I ended up having to go to the dealer to get a replacement part. $40 bucks. My engine light is still on and isn't expected to cycle until I hit another 40 miles.

On Tuesday, LO had an event at school abnormally late in the evening. Didn't tell me so I ended up calling her. She was miffed. Then she comes home and lets me know that her and the boy who was her bestie is now her boyfriend. (This is the same kid who she went up to Cape Cod with earlier this past summer.) Which is great except he has no friends and his campus is an hour away. The news was tempered by LO having me help her proofread and submit her Common App to her first two safety schools that night.

On Friday, LO needed a check for her transcripts for the next few schools she is applying to. Me, in a fit of organization even gave her the check the night before. I asked her where her wallet was and she said "Don't worry, just put it on my bed." I get a text Friday morning, "Do you know where the check is?" Apparently LO put the check in her pants pocket and poof! it was gone. So who knows where that went. LO was completely a jerk about losing the check and me having to pay $30 to stop payment.

I wasn't going to fight her as being on her ass all the time doesn't help either.

So fast forward to last night, and where LO tells me she is sleeping over her friend's house that she always sleeps over. Something seems off as she "needed to get there early" and she seemed kind of clingy. She even showed me pictures of popular kids who went to a concert and drinking the night before, in a "Ha ha be glad that isn't me." kind of comparison. I let her go out because what if she was really hanging out with her girlfriends.

Let's just say no pictures from Halloween night made it to social media. There was also a curious gap of her not responding to my texts, approximately an hour after she left the house.

LO forgot that she recently had to wipe and restore her phone. LO forgot about iCloud. I couldn't sleep, and at 6am, let's just guess where LO's phone was.

On a college campus about an hour away. Goddamn it.

Now, aside from the fact she turns 18 in 5 months, and aside from the fact her girlfriends pull similar shit on their parents (kind of famously I might add), and aside from the fact that kids her age go on college tours without their parents...Ugh.

I should mention now that this kid plays a sport and was recruited to play down there. So, if he took LO to a party with sport kids...ugh.

I am kind of beyond livid at this point for her to be stupid and lie to me. This boyfriend is a loser - he's an ok as a friend, and LO likes the attention, but I'm pretty sure he was complicit to having her go down there. He's not her first choice to be a boyfriend and she has come right out and said it, but I think she is settling so she can have a college boyfriend like her other girlfriends do.

At this point, I don't think I want to bring anything up until he comes home for Thanksgiving break. Between now and then, LO has the two other schools to apply to and the SATs next weekend. I have his Mom's cell number. I'm thinking maybe a come to Jesus meeting with his Mom, Stepdad, Me and the two kids. Maybe with a threat of "If you pull anything else, I go to the Dean of Students and your coach."

It's almost 8am...I just want my kid home.

< Fugee face | The spirit of adequacy.org lives on >
Teenagers, man, TEENAGERS | 11 comments (11 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
Not on his parents by marvin (4.00 / 4) #1 Sun Nov 01, 2015 at 10:06:26 AM EST
Wasn't their son that lied to your face about where she would be, and transported her to a college campus an hour away.

If it was my son, that come to Jesus meeting would not go well for you. In spite of that, after your departure, my son would be told that he is to stay away from your daughter like she was made of plutonium because her mom sounds fucking crazy and appears willing to wreck his life over her daughters misdeeds.

Root cause. You know where to look. For all you know, he was told 'yeah my mom is okay with me spending the night on campus.'

Well by yankeehack (2.00 / 0) #2 Sun Nov 01, 2015 at 10:21:10 AM EST
considering I could be calling campus police on him right now...that meeting would be a get out of free card.

We've known the kid for the past four years, he's been over to my house and knows what goes on here. I've texted him and called him in the past. I know his mom. His mom considers my daughter "an almost daughter" as she's spent plenty of time at his house. He knows how I keep tabs on her. It was a big deal when they traveled together this summer as I made him give me phone numbers and addresses, kept in touch, etc.

I'm sure he knows that she didn't have permission from me to go and stay over. LO drove down there as he doesn't have a car.

I'd be ok with them seeing each other, if he came up to see her as boyfriend and girlfriend. But this staying over shit and more than anything, the lying on her part has got to end.

I don't think hoping that nothing happens when she goes down there is the answer either. Besides, if anything happened during or because of a team party (unofficial or official), the coach would be involved. 
"...she dares to indulge in the secret sport. You can't be a MILF with the F, at least in part because the M is predicated upon it."-CBB

[ Parent ]
"Best defense is a good offense"? by marvin (2.00 / 0) #5 Sun Nov 01, 2015 at 12:39:28 PM EST
Someone once told me an old adage about when you point a finger at someone, you have the rest of the fingers on your hand pointing back at you.

Lying about where I was going, and taking my mom's car to another city an hour away without her knowing where I was or who I was with? I would have never so much as seen those car keys again. Ever. Once I was home safe and alive, she would have half-killed me.

With SATs on the imminent horizon, I can see that blowing this up right now could be bad. The ride home from the SATs, on the other hand...

[ Parent ]
There might be better times to say this by ambrosen (2.00 / 0) #6 Sun Nov 01, 2015 at 06:28:06 PM EST
even if it's what you're thinking.

But I read yankeehack as saying that she'd approach irresponsible jock's parents first and have a cooperative come to Jesus moment with the kids. Which sounds pretty sensible to me.

[ Parent ]
Tactlessness by marvin (2.00 / 0) #7 Sun Nov 01, 2015 at 06:47:34 PM EST
I has it. I read it differently, evidently, since there were more consequences outlined for somebody elses kid than her own.

At worst he was a willing accomplice, and at best, completely clueless.

[ Parent ]
would be good to see if kid comes back tho by the mariner (2.00 / 0) #8 Sun Nov 01, 2015 at 08:33:59 PM EST


[ Parent ]
One more thing by yankeehack (2.00 / 0) #3 Sun Nov 01, 2015 at 10:29:50 AM EST
Let's say something happens which involves my daughter while she is visiting. Generally under US college codes of conduct, he could be held liable for his conduct as he's 18 and she is not.

For example, if they were at a party last night and she was served alcohol, not only the person hosting the party would get in trouble but he could too (as he didn't stop the serving).

More often than not, it's just a stern talking a la "don't do that", but could go all the way to a college disciplinary hearing or suspension or expulsion.
"...she dares to indulge in the secret sport. You can't be a MILF with the F, at least in part because the M is predicated upon it."-CBB

[ Parent ]
Aargh by TheophileEscargot (2.00 / 0) #4 Sun Nov 01, 2015 at 12:17:05 PM EST
Not looking forward to teenagerhood,though I'm so glad to have a boy instead...
--
It is unlikely that the good of a snail should reside in its shell: so is it likely that the good of a man should?
Mothers of daughters... by iGrrrl (4.00 / 1) #11 Thu Nov 05, 2015 at 09:06:19 AM EST
...may not appreciate such comments. I have one of each. The thing that frosts my shorts is that the culture puts it on the girls to behave when the boys can be just as bad, and even more sneaky.

"Beautiful wine, talking of scattered everythings"
(and thanks to Scrymarch)

[ Parent ]
oops by gzt (4.00 / 3) #9 Sun Nov 01, 2015 at 08:40:05 PM EST
My engine light is still on and isn't expected to cycle until I hit another 40 miles.

Well, I guess that's taken care of.

It sounds like it's time to widen the job search by georgeha (4.00 / 2) #10 Mon Nov 02, 2015 at 03:09:23 PM EST
to the safety schools and reach schools, and be obvious about it.


Teenagers, man, TEENAGERS | 11 comments (11 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback