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By yankeehack (Thu Jun 19, 2014 at 10:54:58 AM EST) (all tags)
The highlight of my day yesterday was after I got up early (for me) from a wonderful night of sleeping, took a shower, put a cute sundress on...

then I checked my phone.



One of my maternal uncles is in ICU in a small hospital in South Philly. As it turns out, the hospital that is only blocks away from the family house and the one where my grandmother died in scary and uncertain circumstances 50+ years ago.

He had a series of cardiac arrests on Tuesday night - starting at home - and it looks like he suffered brain damage. For the past 20 years or so especially, he's lurched from mostly diabetes triggered health crisis to health crisis and most of the time I only heard about it days or weeks after the fact...but yesterday was different.

My cousin (his daughter) is distraught, but handling it as well as she could be. (I should also mention that she is 3 weeks postpartum with her second baby and that she had to fight with him for the past few weeks about his medical care as he just went on dialysis two weeks ago.) It's distressing to her that she was fighting with her Dad to go to the ER just hours before. He had dialysis earlier in the day and was complaining that "they took more than they should out". He refused to go to the ER (my Italian family is stubborn, especially the MEN) and was yelling at her as she left him on Tuesday night. About two hours later, just as a family friend went into the kitchen to grab something, he went into the first cardiac arrest.

He wasn't fighting my cousin, he was fighting the thought of more medical care, which I understand. My cousin will understand this too, once the shock wears off.

My brother and I went to the hospital last night and I learned that it is never ever a good sign when the ICU staff let you come in outside of visitors hours and immediately point you to the room.

We sat with my cousin and assorted visitors during the evening. My other uncle, the patriarch of the family, had been there with his brother overnight and had left a few hours before we arrived. My mother (even though we offered several times to drive her) doesn't want to see her brother in this condition. I understand that too.

Everyone who first got a glimpse of him would pause and held back their tears. The neurologist came in as we were there - and there was no reaction from my uncle as he was poked. His pupils are fixed even though he is not sedated.

Today they'll be warming up his body according to cardiac protocol, as it was kept cool initially. And they'll perform a CAT scan and EKG and some other tests. Most of my family are medical practitioners, including my cousin, so we get it. My aunt is coming from Texas tomorrow, and I imagine that we'll see him off tomorrow.

There are no text updates this morning so far.

I resent that I had to write the details of this out. Death takes away so much. He was a good man, a good Dad and one of a kind. A character. He got to meet his grandchildren. His family and friends will be at his funeral. He will be remembered and missed. You can't ask for more than that.

 

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Goddamn It | 8 comments (8 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
Wow. by ana (4.00 / 1) #1 Thu Jun 19, 2014 at 12:33:25 PM EST
I'm sorry for your (presumed) loss. I hope it all goes as well as it can. There's something to be said for going quickly.

I now know what the noise that is usually spelled "lolwhut" sounds like. --Kellnerin

Damn by FlightTest (4.00 / 1) #2 Thu Jun 19, 2014 at 06:17:27 PM EST
 So sorry to read this.  :(   HUGS to you and your family.

Ah, shit by Gedvondur (4.00 / 1) #3 Fri Jun 20, 2014 at 09:57:28 AM EST
I'm so sorry.


Friday Update by yankeehack (2.00 / 0) #4 Fri Jun 20, 2014 at 11:43:25 AM EST
We received the confirmation about his diagnosis late yesterday. My Mom was a wreck and didn't want to see him last night.

My cousin was going to keep him on life support until my Aunt and another close out of town cousin could arrive today (Friday), but he passed overnight. If I had to guess, I suspect he was distressed somehow, but I haven't heard the full story yet.

I didn't go to the ICU last night, thinking I would see the relatives today when they arrived.

I awoke last night and I knew something had happened.

I feel bad that my Aunt didn't see him, but I think in a way that she was hoping not to see him. She, like my Mom, is a nurse, and knew that it was just his body that was left.

...

And now we are starting on the family drama portion...as my SiL's father (my little brother's wife's father) just posted on my cousin's Facebook wall about my Uncle's passing. Unfortunately, I don't think all of my relatives know, especially the younger ones.
"...she dares to indulge in the secret sport. You can't be a MILF with the F, at least in part because the M is predicated upon it."-CBB

:-( by ana (4.00 / 2) #7 Fri Jun 20, 2014 at 03:29:06 PM EST
Please take care of yourself, and after that, those close to you.

I now know what the noise that is usually spelled "lolwhut" sounds like. --Kellnerin

[ Parent ]
I'm sorry. by clock (4.00 / 1) #5 Fri Jun 20, 2014 at 11:55:50 AM EST
Peace to you and yours. 


I agree with clock entirely --Kellnerin

That's awful news to bear. by ammoniacal (4.00 / 1) #6 Fri Jun 20, 2014 at 02:22:56 PM EST
I'm sorry for your loss, YH.

"To this day that was the most bullshit caesar salad I have every experienced..." - triggerfinger

Sorry for your loss. by georgeha (4.00 / 1) #8 Fri Jun 20, 2014 at 04:22:38 PM EST



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