Print Story Leaving work.
Diary
By technician (Sat Nov 22, 2014 at 05:33:00 PM EST) (all tags)
I'm really not sure what's next, which is sort of nice.


Thirty year old me would be freaking right the fuck out: leaving a perfectly cushy job with a ton of salary for nothing at all, with nothing lined up. Thirty year old me would also complain constantly about the day-to-day working thing. He was a bit of a dick about that, but it fueled a lot of years of husi and k5 writing.

Paraphrasing a thing I read: You spend the first fifty years looking backward, comparing yourself to your younger self, fretting about doing better. After fifty, you start to look ahead, seeing what the days and weeks have to offer.

I got there a bit early, I think, or am on my way through some sort of transition. Two things: I have a spouse who has a job, and we have no kids. Out math would be very different if any of these variables were different.

And, in fact, I do want kids still, but my spouse ain't convinced yet. Maybe when we get to a new city, some new version of our daily lives.

So, what is next? Well, I really don't know. I will spend some months prepping the house to be sold. I will get rid of at least 50 percent of the crap in this house, and hopefully 90 percent of what inhabits the garage. I'll paint and add new kitchen cabinets and new floors and new fencing. Basically spend my days DIY'ing what I can't or won't pay someone to do.

I'll be cooking and cleaning. I'll be a housewife.

I'll work on creative things. Hopefully get back in to school, with a new goal: no BS degrees, no tech, no science. A degree in something useless, something I like, but a degree. Turn that into a teaching certificate. Become a teacher.

Elementary school. Poorly paid, well hated, and mired in underfunded struggle.

It sounds sweet as hell.

But for now? For the short term? I'm finally not sure.

For the first time ever in my entire life, I have no idea what I'll be doing in a couple of months, or a couple of years, but I am looking forward to it.

All of this will sound odd to some. Those of you who've had the wherewithal to do what you can and want, and those of you who're stuck doing what you have to do, my enthusiasm will strike those two camps as odd, but for very different reasons.

I'm OK with this.

A coworker asked me if I was excited about getting out, or if I was nervous, anxious. I told her, it's none of those things.

You know what I feel? Overwhelmingly, I feel relief.

I am relieved that I am no longer the single point of failure for an entire company. I feel relieved that my role is no longer crucial, that my decisions don't affect the payday of a couple of hundred people.

I am relieved. And I plan on staying there.

< 2014 | All aboard the blunder bus >
Leaving work. | 15 comments (15 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
Good Luck by jimgon (4.00 / 1) #1 Sat Nov 22, 2014 at 08:13:43 PM EST
 Wish I could it too.




---------------
Technician - "We can't even get decent physical health care. Mental health is like witchcraft here."
Teaching by kwsNI (4.00 / 1) #2 Sat Nov 22, 2014 at 10:31:13 PM EST
"Elementary school. Poorly paid, well hated, and mired in underfunded struggle."

Isn't that the truth. Being married to an elementary school principal, I get to see that far too often.

ugh by StackyMcRacky (4.00 / 1) #8 Mon Nov 24, 2014 at 08:15:21 AM EST
having a kid in elementary school, I feel so awful for the teachers and administrators.  a friend of mine is constantly going off on one thing or another the teachers do, their pay, "they get summers off!" etc.  i don't get it at all.

note: my only complaint is homework.  assigning required homework every night for young elementary school kids seems dumb, it just sets everybody up for corporate slavery where they say "40 hours a week" but you're actually expected to work 60 hours. 

[ Parent ]
Yes by barooo (2.00 / 0) #12 Tue Dec 02, 2014 at 01:27:01 PM EST
 I believe that is the point.  Apparently our PK4 (next year) will have homework.  in preschool.  WTF?  I remember 1st grade being "oh, you'll get homework then" but it wasn't a big deal until at least 2nd or 3rd or so.  One of the big problems around here is most of the homework essentially means "work for the parents", which is another front in the endless mommy wars, but once that level becomes normal and accepted it just keeps increasing.

man, i need a beefy taco now.
-gzt
[ Parent ]
the only homework i remember by StackyMcRacky (2.00 / 0) #13 Tue Dec 02, 2014 at 04:34:47 PM EST
other than studying for a test, was book reports and research papers in the upper parts of elementary school.  other than that, it was come home, eat a snack and go out and play.

and while i'm complaining, let's talk about "play dates."  it's so weird to me that ALL play between kids is more or less expected to be scheduled now.  what happened to just going over and knocking and seeing if your friends could play?  if they were busy/grounded/parents busy/whatever then the answer was "no" and you'd go look elsewhere. not everything in life has to be crazy structured.

[ Parent ]
YES IT DOES by barooo (2.00 / 0) #14 Wed Dec 03, 2014 at 02:05:02 PM EST
I hate all the bullshit structure, too.  Part of it, I suspect, is widened circles.  For instance, none of libby's circle is anywhere near walking distance unless it's a nice day and an excursion (think 1-3 miles).  There are a few kids roughly her age around, but we don't know them.  Maybe it's different in a "house" neighborhood.  Plus, with things like calendar apps, it's just so easy to formally schedule shit now that ti's become the norm.

The main homework I remember other than the dreaded book report (which, despite being a good student, I was all the way in high school before I figured out / was told that a book report was not the same thing as a "summary") was the endless fucking worksheets.  I gather these are even more common now, as are "performance based learning challenges", i.e., making a presentation or a video or something. 

man, i need a beefy taco now.
-gzt
[ Parent ]
school changes stuff by StackyMcRacky (2.00 / 0) #15 Thu Dec 04, 2014 at 02:15:41 PM EST
once The Dude started school we met all the kids his age so it's easier for him to find people.  There's only 1 that's walkable distance for him, and even then an adult has to be with him to cross the street at the corner where we are (because asshats run the stop sign as a matter of course).

we know a few kids DK's age, most of whom are younger siblings of The Dude's friends.  i know of only 1 additional kiddo from her school that lives in the boro, but maybe there are others.  most of her "friends" i know from a mom group, and we're pretty spread out so we text/email/etc to meet up.

[ Parent ]
Huzzah! by ammoniacal (4.00 / 1) #3 Sun Nov 23, 2014 at 02:19:31 AM EST
Pretty sure I called the teaching gig for you about 10 years ago.

"To this day that was the most bullshit caesar salad I have every experienced..." - triggerfinger

Good luck! by Metatone (4.00 / 3) #4 Sun Nov 23, 2014 at 04:15:56 AM EST
I can see how you'd be a great elementary school teacher - but my 2 cents is you'd make an even better high school teacher. There are things about you that could make a big difference to some teenagers.

(I'm currently teaching part time at a branch of a US university here in London - many of the first years are still just teenagers...)

Huzzah indeed! by LoppEar (4.00 / 1) #5 Sun Nov 23, 2014 at 08:11:07 AM EST
Sweet relief. Still arc'ing through this similar transition here, 's good if sometimes confusing as the rubber bands unwind randomly. Peace!


Again, good luck by clock (4.00 / 1) #6 Sun Nov 23, 2014 at 09:57:21 PM EST
I envy you a bit. I'm in a different space now. Different challenges and all that jazz. But at the end of the day, it's OK.

Sounds like you already found a chunk of what you're looking for.


I agree with clock entirely --Kellnerin

spouse ain't convinced yet by wiredog (4.00 / 1) #7 Mon Nov 24, 2014 at 07:23:34 AM EST
After 30 her biology may need convincing. After 40 it becomes extremely risky. A woman I know realized at 40 that she really wanted kids. 3 after the first kid came the first heart attack. Fortunately her mom , who is a paramedic, was there and recognized the symptoms immediately. So she's OK, her daughter is Ok, her husband is Ok. But boy does she regret waiting. Guys have it easier on that front.

Earth First!
(We can strip mine the rest later.)

i'm all about by StackyMcRacky (4.00 / 1) #9 Mon Nov 24, 2014 at 08:19:05 AM EST
having kids at 16.  my body would have recovered, and i would have had the energy for it.  cuz DAYMN, i am wiped out at the end of the day.

[ Parent ]
Renting to own. by technician (4.00 / 2) #10 Mon Nov 24, 2014 at 08:25:38 AM EST
We'll be adopting.

[ Parent ]
You by clock (4.00 / 2) #11 Mon Nov 24, 2014 at 09:30:44 PM EST
Are the kind of people who should adopt. You have what it takes. When you need a reference, you will call me.


I agree with clock entirely --Kellnerin

[ Parent ]
Leaving work. | 15 comments (15 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback