Print Story There was a hair in my buffalo mozzarella
Diary
By BadDoggie (Sat Aug 24, 2013 at 03:27:00 PM EST) lame, ass, poosticks, yawn, vagina full of predictions (all tags)
It's that season, and (water-)buffalo mozz is available for only 4× what the regular stuff costs. The difference is a bit of tang which is lost if you dare put any basil paste, balsamic (white or regular) or pretty much anything else on it.

The difference between the cheap shit from Aldi and the expensive stuff from Italian gourmet shops run by PhD-Chem virgins who studied for 20 years in the Japanese style is the difference between Exxon and Shell 93 octane gasoline/petrol.

Also, any fucking TV series wannabe who calls the cheese "mootz" or "mootsaRella" can die in a fire that I have NSA double-secret probationary clearance to set.



There was a hair in the fucking thing. Very thin, only discovered because I ripped the €2 ball instead of cutting it. It was that fine. And therefore, not belonging to any DogPound resident. Fresh contacts and I could still only discern it because a hint of moisture stuck to the end.

And then I thought of predictions, because most predictions (cough*dvorak*and*other*magazine*hacks*cough) are pretty pointless. In 5 years we'll have 500gig USB 4.0 sticks for a tenner. Two-and-a-half-inch form 7mm SSDs will run $80 for 8TB. And we'll mostly load them with funny pictures of cats.

But DNA... I think what's going to happen first are some breakthroughs which allow determining shit like skin and eye colour. And then small and quick jumps to give height, propensity for obesity (which, combined with region, will give 95% confidence rate).

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Here's the kicker: the big breakthroughs will come from some Twitter/Yelp-like system which is the equivalent of, say, a cross between today's Google Maps & CanHazCheezburger, with some reddit & instagram for funsies. Some asshole will make WhoDaFuqWuzHearDotCom, picking up random shit from the street, sampling any avai DNA and posting generated models of said passer-by. The comments sections will be filled with amateur Anon-rejects trying to outsleuthrownie points.

You read it here first. I would be thankful that I'm unlikely to be alive for the amount of technological advance this would require but considering that we can photograph atom shells, my kid is unlikely to even be in high school before this ones sees the light.

I'm back to listening to some King's X. You might want to, as well. I wonder if Imminent Whelp will prefer Dug, Jerry & Ty to the Peter Gabriel habit MNP brought upon the DogPound.

G'night Mrs. Calabash, wherever you are.

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There was a hair in my buffalo mozzarella | 6 comments (6 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
Wait, whoa, what? by clock (4.00 / 2) #1 Sat Aug 24, 2013 at 08:07:08 PM EST
If I read that right then awesome!!!!

Otherwise, just eat the cheese. It's fine.


I agree with clock entirely --Kellnerin

Notes on predictions by wumpus (2.00 / 0) #2 Sat Aug 24, 2013 at 10:57:50 PM EST
On the other side of the silliness, Jerry Pournelle was insisting (probably from the 1980s) that hard disks would soon be overtaken by SSDs - Solid state beats moving parts everytime. I have no idea if he gave up before it happened.

Wumpus

One day by Herring (2.00 / 0) #3 Sun Aug 25, 2013 at 03:01:04 PM EST
I did buy one of these - which I could ill afford. The performance is scary. Starting up Reaper with all the VSTs and stuff used to take over a minute. Now maybe a second or two. SATA III is barely up to the bandwidth.

christ, we're all old now - StackyMcRacky
[ Parent ]
SSDs by Breaker (2.00 / 0) #6 Mon Sep 02, 2013 at 06:05:06 PM EST
We're replacing our top end HDD arrays with SSDs at $EvilBank.

MBW's new ish Mac has no HDD, only SSD storage.  Give it 5 years and every low end PC will be SSD only.  Those buggers are quick.


[ Parent ]
Exxon and Shell 93 by dev trash (2.00 / 0) #4 Sun Aug 25, 2013 at 04:04:07 PM EST
So no difference then.

--
I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR BALLS! ->clock
I just realised this year by ammoniacal (2.00 / 0) #5 Mon Aug 26, 2013 at 12:46:31 AM EST
and it blows my fucking mind to think about it, that ancient fucking Romans were forward-thinking enough to import fucking water buffalo to Italy. Why not bring fucking tigers too, while you're at it, you adventurous bastards.

"To this day that was the most bullshit caesar salad I have every experienced..." - triggerfinger

There was a hair in my buffalo mozzarella | 6 comments (6 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback