Print Story Christmas is coming
Cheese
By ana (Fri Dec 13, 2013 at 02:01:23 PM EST) (all tags)
as my Dad used to say, when we were procrastinating or otherwise wasting time in the teeth of an oncoming deadline.


Oddly mentioning him and the word deadline in the same sentence makes me kinda misty. I haven't really missed him very much, because he was pretty disengaged the last few years. Having him at peace is a good thing, I think. For all concerned, though in different ways.

But that's not what I was gonna write about.

I'm listening to Marian Call on bandcamp as I type. I think I kinda like it. There's an album mostly dedicated to or inspired by Firefly, which is fun.

And that's not what I was gonna write about, either.

The next four weeks consist of:
  • On call. Should be straightforward, but we'll be working up and approving a schedule for the following two holiday weeks, so there might be twice the usual bunch of "oh, this one? can we change it to..." last-minute requests.
  • Traveling to visit Mom and my brothers. I'm staying with the elder one, and the younger is bringing his kids up for the 24th. I hope to see his ex at some point. I have stuff for the kiddies, which reminds me, I should get this book autographed before I go. I understand Mom's pretty accepting of her situation, so that's good.
  • A few days alone at home. But a guy from my writing group is off to India for 6 weeks and is having a going-away party on Jan 1, and the writing group itself is meeting on Jan 2, so not completely alone.
  • On call again, as soon as I punch in (before, actually; we change shifts at midnight Monday mornings).
There's a winter storm coming in, probably between 10pm Saturday and sometime Sunday morning. Oh, fun. The asters not only bloomed before the first significant snow this year, they're done and dead and cut already. But then Christmas is coming, so it's time for things to be dead.

So a week, no, nearly two now, ago, inspired by a spoken-word poetry slam entry written by the teenage daughter of an internet acquaintance, I wrote a similar thing. I'm not posting it; it's pretty raw. Instead, I posted a typically facebook passive/aggressive one or two liner about walking away from what's not working for me. I haven't been in the church building since the last choir that I was part of, in early October. And I do miss a couple of the people, but I don't miss the sense of being the wrong demographic.

Somebody who knows what they're doing needs to write a theology of solitude for this generation, some half or more of whom spend nearly all their time alone (it's about 97% for me). I am not now, nor do I think I ever shall be, part of a family. So assuming everybody is just alienates people. And requiring that people overcome their own alienation before they enter is just dumb.

And granted, this is largely my own problem, but that doesn't make it less real or less valid.

Sundays are pretty good times for baking bread. Check in every hour and get your fingers gooey. Keepin it real, yo.

The writing group has been fun. This fall I took an 8-week course on writing linked short stories. I got a couple of my storied critiqued and one of them twice, after substantial revision. Learning to revise is hard, but really useful. Anyway, one of the students (D) is part of a long-running group, so he invited 3 of us to join. One's off to Korea for a year (he was here studying English as a 2nd language; now back to real life and finishing his ChemE degree). Which will leave 5 of us. One of the long-time members (H) has recently finished self-publishing a historical novel and is between projects at the moment. The other (B) is writing a fantasy novel with some really great world-building; it should be fun reading along as it grows.

So we read through 2 chapters + prologue of B's thing and another of my stories this past week, and they had excellent suggestions; the reader is, in so many ways, always write, especially when she/he is wrong. That said, H couldn't wrap her mind around my first-person narration in the person of a high school girl. Or the fact that her little clique of friends has at least two members who are coping with gender dysphoria issues. She wants to know, for sure, who's a girl and who's a guy, and that's that. Dunno if she's going to want to read more of my stuff or not.
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Christmas is coming | 13 comments (13 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
Demographics by curmudgeon (4.00 / 1) #1 Fri Dec 13, 2013 at 06:48:48 PM EST

It's not clear by your diary if you're entirely displeased with your demographic, or if you're more displeased at the assumption that everyone should be in the 'non-alone' demographic.  My own demographic is difficult enough for me, I don't think I could handle spending as much time alone as you do.


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Get over it.
It is what it is. by ana (4.00 / 1) #2 Fri Dec 13, 2013 at 07:41:45 PM EST
The demographic's not changing, as far as I can see, for either of us.

So it seems that a more realistic assessment of reality would be appropriate for organizations dedicated to helping people. 

I now know what the noise that is usually spelled "lolwhut" sounds like. --Kellnerin

[ Parent ]
Likely not by curmudgeon (4.00 / 2) #6 Fri Dec 13, 2013 at 09:36:28 PM EST
So it seems that a more realistic assessment of reality would be appropriate for organizations dedicated to helping people society.
FTFY
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Get over it.
[ Parent ]
I've not read it but ... by lm (4.00 / 1) #3 Fri Dec 13, 2013 at 07:47:26 PM EST
... I believe that this is something along the lines of a mystical theology of solitude.

The Severus Snape Paradigm: Outcast, Rebel, Hero

My wife has been following logospilgrim's blog for a long time. I've been meaning to get around to reading the published works but i's constantly slipping my mind.


There is no more degenerate kind of state than that in which the richest are supposed to be the best.
Cicero, The Republic
Interesting. by ana (2.00 / 0) #4 Fri Dec 13, 2013 at 08:07:58 PM EST
There's a lot there, in the livejournal. And, one presumes, in the book. Not having read Harry Potter, one presumes I should fix that deficiency first. 

I now know what the noise that is usually spelled "lolwhut" sounds like. --Kellnerin

[ Parent ]
Everything that I know about Harry Potter ... by lm (4.00 / 1) #5 Fri Dec 13, 2013 at 09:34:49 PM EST
... I've learned through osmosis.

I don't think that I'll ever be bothered to read HP. Or watch the movies.


There is no more degenerate kind of state than that in which the richest are supposed to be the best.
Cicero, The Republic
[ Parent ]
The movies are interesting by theboz (2.00 / 0) #8 Sun Dec 15, 2013 at 12:46:53 PM EST
The plots are fairly standard, but since they occurred over a long period of time with mostly the same actors, it's actually amazing to see the children grow up over time not just in the plots but in reality.
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That's what I always say about you, boz, you have a good memory for random facts about pussy. -- joh3n
[ Parent ]
Some of the osmosis at work by lm (2.00 / 0) #10 Sun Dec 15, 2013 at 03:18:17 PM EST
... has been catching glimpses of some scenes from my daughters watching the movies over and over again.

So far as movies go, the bits that I've caught have seemed well above average.

But I'm still not interested. It's just not my cup of tea.


There is no more degenerate kind of state than that in which the richest are supposed to be the best.
Cicero, The Republic
[ Parent ]
Harry Potter's fun. by ambrosen (4.00 / 2) #7 Fri Dec 13, 2013 at 11:37:45 PM EST
It's very warmly written by someone who likes people and has seen a decent amount of life. All the unsympathetic characters are unsympathetic because of complacency and glibness. It's good, and worth however long it takes you to get through 3,000 pages of well flowing prose.

There are, as you can read by what the last paragraph didn't say, shortcomings, but these are not shortcomings which detract from the massively inclusive celebration of all that is very good about all sorts of people. Including, and perhaps especially including the lonely and solitudinous.

[ Parent ]
Solitude by theboz (2.00 / 0) #9 Sun Dec 15, 2013 at 12:48:38 PM EST
I think in reality we're all alone in ourselves even with family, children, etc.  I mean, having tried both I do prefer having a family over being completely alone, but it's not that having other people in your proximity fixes everything.  It can help, but only under the right circumstances.
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That's what I always say about you, boz, you have a good memory for random facts about pussy. -- joh3n
Existential loneliness... by ana (2.00 / 0) #11 Sun Dec 15, 2013 at 05:19:11 PM EST
is pretty much universal, I think.

The kind of solitude where you die of something dumb because nobody's around to notice... That's something else. 

I now know what the noise that is usually spelled "lolwhut" sounds like. --Kellnerin

[ Parent ]
That is still possible by theboz (2.00 / 0) #13 Tue Dec 17, 2013 at 07:12:28 AM EST
It may be less likely but it is still possible to die alone. My father in law died alone despite being married and javing my wife, kids, and I visiting them. My dad died alone in a situation like tou alluded to. From my outside perspective both seem terrible, but I also lile the idea of your loved ones not being traumatized by seeing you take your last breath or having to make a decision to take you off of life support.

I'm not trying to discourage you by the way, I do agree that it is important to have people close to you emotionally. It's just that it doesn't make anything better without some other component that I am at a loss to describe.
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That's what I always say about you, boz, you have a good memory for random facts about pussy. -- joh3n

[ Parent ]
Church grumble by Scrymarch (4.00 / 2) #12 Mon Dec 16, 2013 at 08:01:43 AM EST
Church grumble

Have been going to the church that runs the kids kindergarten but not really getting much out of it. It's pretty thin gruel. Mainly I am there so MM can go to Sunday school.

I'm used to a sort of liberal Anglicanism and they are some kind of low church evangelical thing. I sort of understand the approach mentally. But the songs are all this sub-pop song tedium, and they're always quoting sculpture by the sentence, there's no readings, and there's a few moments in the sermons but it's pretty thin gruel.

And I spend all week sitting down in meetings and making small talk with people who could just throw around an idea for a change it's another bloody meeting isn't it, sitting around listening to people talk, at least there's a snack but honestly even the bloody songs sound like hold music.

It tests young MM's willpower sorely too, all week in the classroom and Sunday morning too? He wants to run around at his own pace. At least he gets to hear a story.

It seems to me that though the Church's main concern is the soul the great sly padres ministered to the soul through materiality .. not quid pro quo or prosperity doctrines but they quenched spiritual needs through other yearnings. Like Sunday school - when you cannot read, to read the word of The Lord is not easy but it does feel right and fill a need not found running errands on your father's farm.

Theophile shared a really interesting sermon a while back about people who say they believe in God but don't go to church, they prefer a run in the woods, and some of the universality and shallowness of that. And the sermon is right but the people are right too because their body is yelling at them get out of the house into the air and stop jabbering, use the legs and lungs that god gave you, maybe sing a sad old song for a change.

So I looked for an outdoor ministry in Disneyland but it's not really a thing here. Maybe I will just go for a walk instead and maybe that's just another excuse to stay in bed.

So this probably isn't the your theology of solitude and it did have kids in it but the point is the church not adapting you see rantwhine over.

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Christmas is coming | 13 comments (13 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback