Print Story Well then
By Breaker (Tue Jun 12, 2012 at 05:45:04 PM EST) (all tags)
I'm feeling much better after the recent plague that visited me.  Bit of a cough, which is slowly receding, and I get tired quite easily.

What I don't need is extra stress right now.

So, bit of column A, bit of column B.  In the good news list, both mortgages are now approved, site surveys and valuations have been greenlighted.  That's one stress item off the list.

In the bad news, I am now on the hook for almost three quarters of a million quid.


And that's not including the usury that is lawyer fees, moving fees and fee fees.  Last time we moved I just recall and endless line of money chickens lining up to peck at MBW's and my finances.

Still, no mental upstairs neighbour.

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Well then | 34 comments (34 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
So where's your shabby 2 bed flat? by jump the ladder (4.00 / 1) #1 Wed Jun 13, 2012 at 03:12:14 AM EST
Assuming that you're buying in Londonium.

He lives in a house ... by codemonkey uk (4.00 / 3) #2 Wed Jun 13, 2012 at 03:59:10 AM EST
... a very big house in the county.

--- Thad ---
Almost as Smart As you.
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7!!! by anonimouse (4.00 / 1) #6 Wed Jun 13, 2012 at 08:20:21 AM EST
I keep trying to play the video but my PC won't let me...

Girls come and go but a mortgage is for 25 years -- JtL
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I wish... by Breaker (2.00 / 0) #14 Wed Jun 13, 2012 at 05:31:56 PM EST
But MBW won't drive, and won't have me commute > 1h each way.

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Just the other side of Blackheath, daaahling by Breaker (2.00 / 0) #13 Wed Jun 13, 2012 at 05:30:35 PM EST
But far enough away for a 4 bed house to be affordable.


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Catford? by Dr H0ffm4n (2.00 / 0) #33 Sun Jun 24, 2012 at 08:38:12 AM EST

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We're from Ca'fudd by Breaker (2.00 / 0) #34 Mon Jun 25, 2012 at 03:30:42 PM EST
Ent we, ay?

Charlton, to be exact.

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Buying a house by hulver (4.00 / 1) #3 Wed Jun 13, 2012 at 06:02:52 AM EST
Stressful isn't it.

And the fees! Oh we'll just take this, and that, and don't worry about that - it's just my hand in your pocket again.
Cheese is not a hat. - clock

Needlessly so by Breaker (4.00 / 1) #15 Wed Jun 13, 2012 at 05:34:47 PM EST
Oh and add on the cost of converting a full repay mortgage to a buy to let on top of that, and have to co-ordinate the lot.

Fees - don't even get me started.  650 notes for a bloke to turn up, spend 25 mins checking for damp, rot and subsidence, then <15 mins on t'internet checking house prices = 650 notes.

I thought my industry was money driven, venal, heartless and sought to bilk every customer at every turn.  No, surveyors have us licked on that one.

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You were ripped off by hulver (2.00 / 0) #25 Thu Jun 14, 2012 at 03:11:59 AM EST
Our surveyor spent almost two hours examining every inch of the house ( we know, because we turned up while he was still there) and produced a detailed report on its condition for £500.

The lawyer fees though, wow.
Cheese is not a hat. - clock

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Meh 150 notes by Breaker (2.00 / 0) #28 Thu Jun 14, 2012 at 05:35:39 PM EST
London weighting.

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HOWTO: feel better about lawyer/surveyor fees by clover kicker (4.00 / 2) #4 Wed Jun 13, 2012 at 06:30:12 AM EST
Add up how much the real estate agents made, you'll totally forget about the petty criminals skimming off your transaction.

Over here by hulver (4.00 / 2) #5 Wed Jun 13, 2012 at 07:54:34 AM EST
Only the vendor pays the agent.
Cheese is not a hat. - clock
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fer sure by clover kicker (4.00 / 1) #9 Wed Jun 13, 2012 at 01:45:54 PM EST
But the vendor set his price knowing that the real estate agent was going to take his commission.

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Hidden cost though by Breaker (2.00 / 0) #16 Wed Jun 13, 2012 at 05:35:48 PM EST
I have no idea the commission they took, and in any case it's folded into the mortgage price.

The endless chipping away of fees, however...

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Ours are slightly less of a rip off by ambrosen (2.00 / 0) #21 Wed Jun 13, 2012 at 07:33:28 PM EST
50% of the price so probably only about twice what they should cost.

That said, for what the McClockies just sold their house for, the only property you can buy in or around my city is a trailer, a retirement flat, or a one bedroom flat in the very roughest part of town. So percentage-wise US realtors may be pretty high, but in terms of actual hard cash, maybe less so.

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We do have a lot of land by georgeha (2.00 / 0) #24 Wed Jun 13, 2012 at 08:45:58 PM EST
especially when you get past the East Coast.

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Sod that. by yicky yacky (4.00 / 1) #7 Wed Jun 13, 2012 at 09:41:14 AM EST

Jordan Henderson. Discuss.

Vacuity abhors a vacuum.
potentially not useless... by Metatone (4.00 / 2) #10 Wed Jun 13, 2012 at 02:15:23 PM EST
currently looking a bit useless...

Isn't that the size of it? 

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So by yicky yacky (4.00 / 1) #12 Wed Jun 13, 2012 at 04:47:33 PM EST

nearer useless than not, then?

Subject to change, etc. ...

Vacuity abhors a vacuum.
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Heh by Breaker (4.00 / 1) #17 Wed Jun 13, 2012 at 05:36:54 PM EST
Ferdinand, Terry, Lampard... Need I go on? ;)

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Good on you y_y by Breaker (4.00 / 1) #18 Wed Jun 13, 2012 at 05:39:15 PM EST
For the distraction.

Dunno though.  I don't think we'll get out of the qualifying group, TBH.  Goalless draw vs the Swedens I think, and we might beat Ukrainia.

Don't think that'll be enough to see us through, unless Ukraine or Sweden implode in the rest of their games.

Then again, I could be wrong, won't be the first time...

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I don't know. by yicky yacky (2.00 / 0) #30 Fri Jun 15, 2012 at 09:32:10 AM EST

I'm strangely confident this time around. Don't think they'll win, but I like the fact that they're being under-hyped rather than over. According to popular myth, England are either world-beaters or dog-shite, and the truth is that they're never either; they're consistently somewhere between 5th and 15th in the world.

Tonight's game is the big worry. I think if they can get a win they'll do OK. If not, they might slump, but I quite liked their sod-what-you-think-we're-going-to-play-like-Chelsea-anyway attitude in the last game.

The defence is decent. I think it's one of the semi-paradoxical ironies of the PL that, despite the fact that's it's praised for its open and attacking football; actually, it has a tendency to select for full-spectrum defenders rather than clinical attackers. It's too fast, open and aggressive for touch and technique to reach an absurdly high level in attack, but the defenders have to learn to cope with all sorts.

The strike force worries me. Welbeck did the Heskey stuff alright, but not the Owen stuff.

We'll have to see, I guess.

Vacuity abhors a vacuum.
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Both of us wrong then! by Breaker (2.00 / 0) #31 Fri Jun 15, 2012 at 05:41:01 PM EST
I've already put my hat in the pan to tenderise it, got the tomato and chilli sauce ready and am sharpening up my knife and fork ready to eat it...

Cole and Terry are formidible defenders - but don't read the others in the back 4 so well (surprise).  Cole, however much I dislike him as a person (MBW always reads the 'sleb pages to me when she buys crappy magazines), is one of the best defenders in the world IMHO.  He's clinically accurate in that last man tackle, reads the game like he's ten seconds ahead of everyone, and he's a most dangerous specimen of what the Brazilian's call "second wingers".  Quick, able to shimmy and lay in some lovely crosses.

That goal by Carroll was certainly from the practise fields of Anfield, and I challenge any keeper alive or dead to have kept that one out - defence split, ball millimeter perfect, bullet header.

Walcott's goal - stunner.  How long was he on the pitch before that?  Watching the replay from behind the goal, the keeper got to see the incoming ball just in front of his six yard line - no chance.

And Welbeck's - good grief!  Back to the goal, unbalanced, and still managed to nudge it in with a backheel.  If that's not goal of the tourney then there's some further excitement coming up...

Those 2 goals by Sweden though - worrying.

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England are very Chelsea like by jump the ladder (4.00 / 1) #32 Sat Jun 16, 2012 at 07:08:10 AM EST
Last night was like watching a Stoke versus Chelsea match. Neither side can keep the ball but overall England had more quality.

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I was able to get all the fees by wiredog (4.00 / 1) #8 Wed Jun 13, 2012 at 01:11:15 PM EST
rolled up into the mortgage.

Earth First!
(We can strip mine the rest later.)

Then that inflates the deposit by Breaker (2.00 / 0) #19 Wed Jun 13, 2012 at 05:40:10 PM EST
Required.  And you pay interest on it for 25 years.

Swings, roundabouts, you still get fucked.

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tax advantages in the states. by wumpus (2.00 / 0) #23 Wed Jun 13, 2012 at 07:49:41 PM EST
Depending on the interest it makes plenty of sense to do this in USia. It also should only inflate the deposit required by 20% of the fees rolled up (hope you can get this, not sure).


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Congratulations! by ambrosen (4.00 / 1) #11 Wed Jun 13, 2012 at 04:44:34 PM EST
I hope it all goes well.

TYVM! by Breaker (2.00 / 0) #20 Wed Jun 13, 2012 at 05:41:05 PM EST
And on the plus side - when it all goes through, you get an eyrie with ensuite to sleep in next time you come to London to stay with me!

Can't guarantee hot Aussie cousins, though.

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Get lots of life insurance by jimgon (4.00 / 1) #22 Wed Jun 13, 2012 at 07:36:56 PM EST
And hope you don't live too long.  That's the only way you handle a mortgage like that.

Technician - "We can't even get decent physical health care. Mental health is like witchcraft here."
2nded by bobdole (4.00 / 1) #26 Thu Jun 14, 2012 at 09:42:19 AM EST
well actually my bank seconds it... they forced us to take out matching life insurance should either one of us finish early.
I like to think of it as "balance of terror" in case either one of us gets crazy ideas...
-- The revolution will not be televised.
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Covered. by Breaker (4.00 / 1) #27 Thu Jun 14, 2012 at 05:33:17 PM EST
If I die MBW gets a ~half mil payout in cash, and my stock portfolio (and dividends) immediately.  Tax free.

Part of that debt figure I quote above is self financing with a profit of ~400 quid a month; .

The half mil will pay off the new family home, leaving a reasonable nest egg of ~100K.

So, sorted, basically. 

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Very good by jimgon (2.00 / 0) #29 Thu Jun 14, 2012 at 08:27:40 PM EST
My goal is to die before retiring so that my wife gets the half mil US in insurance to retire on. 

Technician - "We can't even get decent physical health care. Mental health is like witchcraft here."
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Well then | 34 comments (34 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback