Print Story Augh.
By tierrasimbolica (Wed Mar 07, 2012 at 02:12:28 PM EST) (all tags)
There's a lady I talk to semi-frequently at work.  She's a nurse case manager who calls to make appointments for patients with work-related injuries.

On the one hand, she will scoff and mock you any time you ask her a question to which she thinks the answer should be patently obvious, because clearly you should be able to read her mind, and the sometimes cryptic notes she writes on her faxes should always make perfect sense to you.  On the other hand (two sides of the same coin, of course), she will often react very defensively and assume that you are being critical of her when you weren't.

For example, I called to ask her if she was going to meet a patient at an appointment because he had arrived early and we needed to know if we should wait for her.  This led into a virtually hysterical, defensive tirade about how she's getting there is fast as she can, and what do I expect from her, etc. I told her that I'm just asking so we can know whether to wait for her, that she hasn't done anything wrong, which she ignored (perhaps incapable of registering a kind word?), because she went on to say she will do the best she can to get here, and what is the patient doing there so early anyway, etc.  and cursing the gods and shaking her metaphorical fist at the proverbial sky.

Every time I talk to her, it's exhausting. Now when we talk, she's taken to making comments about me personally, saying things like she knows I'm eager for her to get these things done, etc, trying obviously to make the best out of what a terribly impatient, demanding person I evidently am, when I never said nor thought any such things. I feel compelled to say, "Argh, you have it all wrong", but what's the point? It feels doubtful that I could do anything to break through her wall of insecurity, especially considering our work relationship and the need to be courteous for the sake of my job.

The sad thing is that I grew up in an extremely critical environment and I know how easy it is to get to that place after you've been called an idiot and a moron enough times by people you trust to know better than you. Thankfully, my self-esteem is in a better place now, but please, to all you parents out there who aren't already encouraging your kids as much as you can, please tell them how smart they are and how capable they are and how you believe in them. I know kids need guidance and discipline, but a kind word goes a long way too.
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Augh. | 6 comments (6 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
I am fucking confused here. by ammoniacal (4.00 / 1) #1 Wed Mar 07, 2012 at 08:31:00 PM EST
Whenever *I* show up early to the doctor, they throw a clipboard and a dried-out pen at me and tell me to sit the fuck down until my name's called.

"To this day that was the most bullshit caesar salad I have every experienced..." - triggerfinger

showing up early for an appointment by tierrasimbolica (2.00 / 0) #2 Wed Mar 07, 2012 at 09:03:52 PM EST
is a good thing.   especially here in the city where the traffic is so unpredictable.  early is always better than late, always always. 

[ Parent ]
So, just like job interviews then? by ammoniacal (4.00 / 2) #3 Thu Mar 08, 2012 at 01:18:14 AM EST

"To this day that was the most bullshit caesar salad I have every experienced..." - triggerfinger

[ Parent ]
ha, as far as i'm concerned, by tierrasimbolica (4.00 / 1) #4 Thu Mar 08, 2012 at 01:26:42 AM EST

[ Parent ]
I'm not a mental health professional by snoggle (4.00 / 1) #5 Fri Mar 09, 2012 at 11:44:27 AM EST

But if you really want insight into what might be going on here, do some research on borderline personality disorder.
If you are forced to deal with her on a regular basis, you will have to develop a thick emotional skin and cover your back at all times if she has any leverage to get you into trouble. A good policy is to isolate yourself from people like this, but sometimes you can't since they are your relative, spouse, coworker...

no research necessary by tierrasimbolica (2.00 / 0) #6 Wed Mar 21, 2012 at 02:31:05 PM EST
i'm very familiar with it since i had a family member who dated someone with it.  good call, though, and good advice, thanks. 

[ Parent ]
Augh. | 6 comments (6 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback