According to the Calorie Counting website I have been entering my weight, food intake & activity/calories burned I should reach my goal weight by 12-12-12.
I have my hubby to thank for this. It is due to his undying love, support and understanding that I have begun a new chapter in my life, starting with taking care of myself.
So far I have lost 10 pounds & FT alone is to thank for that. He has done so well at getting himself in shape & has such wonderful willpower when it comes to food. Other areas of his life are another story completely, however!! <wink_wink_nudge_nudge>
Physical Therapy is going great. I love my time in the pool, especially when I get to just hang with the life jacket type belt they put around my waist while in the deep water. It takes all the pressure off the spine and allows for completely pain free relaxing time. I seem to be getting stronger & that is the goal, although the therapist would like to see me with a bit better endurance than I have. Sitting or standing for long periods tends to make my lower back ache terribly, but at least I'm now off the heavy pain drugs. Even if I wear the back brace, it doesn't seem to help much. Travel down the long road of getting my life back has begun.
I'm still not working ( I have too many appointments every week that I am sure no employer would want to try and work around - not to mention carting TFT to places she needs to go when riding the bus would require several buses &/or appointments for her that she needs me to be at with her). Considering going back to school again to finally finish that AA I've been working on since getting out of HS a million years ago. Another option is to work as a temp with an agency so I can pick and chose when I'm gonna work. Or of course I could try being a "stay at home mommy" since TFT has returned to the nest & is clearly in need of some guidance. Still in the thinking stages on this one.
Never in a million years did I ever think I would say that I miss my big breasts!! Why you may ask? Well even though they were heavy & getting a bit on the saggy side ~ they were a perfect match. They were the same size, nipples pointed in the same direction, they felt the same. Radiation is a real B-I-T-C-H. Not only did it shrink the right breast (the one that had the cancer for those who don't know the story & are wondering) it made it feel different. The skin is kinda leathery. The reduction/lift that I thought was pretty successful wasn't as nearly so as I had thought/hoped. My left breast is getting larger while the right remains the same, the headlights are no longer properly aligned, the scars are ugly and there is a really strange patch of red spidery vein looking marks on the right breast. I really wish I had opted to just keep an eye on the damn thing rather than ripping it out so fast. As hind sight is always 20/20 what I have learned since that fatal day in 2006:
- The cancer was completely encapsulated in the milk duct.
- That type generally grows very slowly & many times stays encapsulated forever, in other words it was non-agressive.
- Radiation really messes up the skin and underlying breast tissue FOREVER.
- With this type of cancer, the outcome & likelihood of recurrence is about the same for those that have the lumpectomy with 5 years of medication & those that have the lumpectomy with radiation and the 5 years of medication.
- If I knew then what I know now ~ I would have had the lumpectomy, taken the 5 years of drugs and been done with it.
My options now are to simply live with the ugly boobs (which I hate as they really make me feel deformed), or try for another go at reconstruction (which would likely not be covered by insurance this time & even if it would we now have a PPO which would mean a whole lot more out of pocket expense.
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