He was a best man, an honour, it's true.
before giving the speech, he was a pale white hue.
A couple of relationships - though neither were long,
(maybe that's down to how he looks in a thong).
He put fingers in ear and sang ♬ la la ♬ , of course...
that means 2013 still needs a final divorce.
He did many press-ups and lost him some fat,
but then came Christmas (he gained half of it back!)
And as for the next year, what will it involve,
should there be any targets, to set (with resolve).
he has but two aims that he's setting this year,
more social life in Nowheresville, and a year of good cheer!
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