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By anonimouse (Tue Nov 20, 2012 at 08:39:13 PM EST) bridget jones, drunk diary (all tags)
Calories: gazillions
Alcomahol consumed: 2 bottles of wine, 1 G&T
Cigarettes smoked: 2

A drunk diary by anonimouse after getting in fgrom London

Update [2012-11-21 8:29:44 by anonimouse]: OMG did I really type this last night?


Okay hear we go. I think we need a name for $date now, os lets acll hger oGirl. So as I was saying, oGirl's father was taken into hospital jusrt prior to the weekend, and on Saturday she went iup to the frozen Notrh of England, somewhwere past even where the mythical Hulvers lurk. Unfortunately for oGirl, her argument with draginMother had not been resolbed and as a result she and dragonMother had an argument, whereupon dragonMother breathed fiery accusations upon oGirl, accusing her of just coming up to persuade oFather to assist in the restoration of funds. oGirl bravely stood her ground against these fieary words, but was forced to retrate the next day and headed wearily back down to the warmer climes of Londinium. And the mind of oGirl was highly pissedd off.

And lo, the workds of oGirl reached the ears of the wizeard Anonimouse, who coveted the juicy ripe boobies of oGirl, but hath not yet managed to possesseth them. And so, in a cunning plan, he inviteth oGirl to drown her sorrows at a den of ill repute, known as a Bist-ro, so that oGirl would lower her defences in order that Anonimouse could cast his eyes on the melons of lust. For lo, it is the fourth date, and everyone knoweth that to have failed to get to the base known as a Home Run by a third date is an achievement of Epic Fail.

And so the wizeard Anonimouse did listen to the woes of oGirl, whilst they jointly consumeth the grape juice of Bacchus, and addeth to it the Gin known as Gordons and the Rum known as Captain Morgans. And Anonimouse and oGirl did gazeth unto ecach others eyes and strokeyht each others arms and hold hands in that manner that impleis a good shag soon cometh.

Byut nay, Anonimouse felt chilvalrous under the wondering gasze of oGirl, and after a fwew shared puffers of the smokes of Mayfair, he did poireth oGirl into that conveyance known as taxi before he himself settedth off into the realm of Underground on his joiurney to his mystical home. For Aninmouse is a patient wizard, and on hearing oGirl talk of joint trips to Paris, that famous land of delight and sexoring, he gaineht confidence thatg Just Rewards shall be his, providing that his poatience not exhausteth.


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anonimouse jones diary | 9 comments (9 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
I'm not sure which one is oGirl. by muchagecko (2.00 / 0) #1 Wed Nov 21, 2012 at 03:16:36 AM EST
4th date - she's the young one? Not the friend, right?

Sorry, I'm really shitty at keeping score.


A purpose gives you a reason to wake up every morning.
So a purpose is like a box of powdered donut holes?
Exactly
My Name is Earl

Sounds about right by anonimouse (4.00 / 1) #2 Wed Nov 21, 2012 at 03:28:53 AM EST
Yes...friend got cold feet

Story arc: Start .. here...then here..and here



Girls come and go but a mortgage is for 25 years -- JtL
[ Parent ]
Update: Last comment was slightly incorrect by anonimouse (4.00 / 1) #8 Thu Nov 22, 2012 at 04:03:24 PM EST
Friend has invited me out for drinks tomorrow ...


Girls come and go but a mortgage is for 25 years -- JtL
[ Parent ]
Good for you! by muchagecko (2.00 / 0) #9 Fri Nov 23, 2012 at 03:22:43 AM EST
:-)


A purpose gives you a reason to wake up every morning.
So a purpose is like a box of powdered donut holes?
Exactly
My Name is Earl

[ Parent ]
VS2YOFP by kwsNI (4.00 / 2) #3 Wed Nov 21, 2012 at 07:50:01 AM EST
Voteth storie to ye olde front page

oGirl? by gazbo (4.00 / 4) #4 Wed Nov 21, 2012 at 08:23:05 AM EST
Given I see Hungarian notation daily, to me you really are objectifying her.

I recommend always assuming 7th normal form where items in a text column are not allowed to rhyme.

(Comment Deleted) by anonimouse (2.00 / 0) #5 Wed Nov 21, 2012 at 10:01:39 AM EST

This comment has been deleted by anonimouse



[ Parent ]
You really see Hungarian notation daily? by anonimouse (2.00 / 0) #6 Wed Nov 21, 2012 at 10:20:55 AM EST
I thought it had died out in the last century.

Anyway I was using camelCase, but I don't like long variable names. The "o" is simply the first letter of her first name.

Girls come and go but a mortgage is for 25 years -- JtL
[ Parent ]
Yep! by gazbo (4.00 / 2) #7 Wed Nov 21, 2012 at 10:30:38 AM EST
We also prefix protected/private methods and vars with an underscore.  I'm unsure exactly why this practice ever started, but I imagine it was invented by someone who thought that code should be immutable and despised refactoring.

I recommend always assuming 7th normal form where items in a text column are not allowed to rhyme.

[ Parent ]
anonimouse jones diary | 9 comments (9 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback