Fuck, man, i've only been a lawyer for three months and haven't been employed; if i'd been disciplined, it would be a sign of identity theft.
The thing that i'm working on kinda sucks. The customer just released the 7th revision of a 10 page excel spreadsheet (wide enough to fill my screen and then some) detailing the intersection between media types, media weights, media sizes, and input/output trays. It's a painful spec to read, and it turns out we haven't updated since revision 2.
Can I say now that i'm bored out of my mind by this kind of high-detail, low-interest tedium?
meanwhile, i'm on the precipice of a phase transition, and i'm somewhat shying away from it.
i spent four years in law school and working full time. it was time consuming; i was always busy; i was always exhausted. then we moved here, to the city, and i commenced thirteen months of telecommuting. it's a nice life; i can roll out of bed, work, intermingle dishes and laundry and chatting and working out, etc, and as long as i'm getting my bugs fixed and my management tasks done, everyone's at least content.
so i can spend as much, or as little, time on work as i want, in some ways; and beyond that, i'm basically not challenged. so i sorta feel like i'm drifting.
with some prodding from jared, i've started applying for jobs.
i haven't applied for jobs at all since ~2009, when I was terrified I'd be laid off. I haven't really wanted a particular job since 2004.
i'm only applying to jobs i would want. i mean: i have an easy life now. any new job i get will require more effort and will be less convenient. so i should only apply if i'd like the job if i got it.
and i'm lucky; i have little debt, and i have a job, unlike so many of my exclassmates, i don't have to jump at the first thing.
but that means every packet that goes into the mail takes a little bit of my heart with it.
for all that my life should be low stress, i got into a horrible fight with QA the other day. the product is late and it's of questionable quality; QA is stressed, engineering is stressed. I and two of engineers spent all day Friday and Monday, and I worked half of Saturday, trying to fix two problems of the degree of seriousness: "this software doesn't work at all".
Tuesday, in the weekly bug scrub, QA was complaining about a bug of seriousness: "the software doesn't properly handle paper of default media weights". QA complained that they thought that engineering should be focusing on this above everything else and shouldn't work on anything else until it was fixed.
I sarcastically asked if they really meant that and told them I didn't believe them.
Unprofessional asshole, I was, that day.
(The next day I sent out my first app, which was due on 10/20. Coincidental timing, but I wonder how much that was adding to my stress).
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