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Diary
By aphrael (Fri Oct 26, 2012 at 07:18:25 PM EST) (all tags)
Following ana's advice for more regular diaries, although i'm doing it fairly late in the day.

It's 6pm on a Friday and i'm still working. Jared is in class, I have things to do. I took a break mid-day to go to get something notarized, and go to the post office, and fail to go to the gym; and then i watched Bloomberg's pointless press conference.

We don't know enough to know anything yet about the hurricane. Well, duh.

Although I loved it when, after being asked if anyone had a prediction about the storm's track, he said, yeah, there are 20 of them, and each of them thinks they're right. and you could average them, but he doesn't see how averaging them would get you any useful data at this stage in the game.

I can see why NYers reelected him.



I sent in my NY bar packet this today. It had been a pain to assemble; unlike NJ and CA, you have to provide letters attesting to your character, and I had to get certifications from both NJ and CA confirming that I haven't been disciplined.

Fuck, man, i've only been a lawyer for three months and haven't been employed; if i'd been disciplined, it would be a sign of identity theft.

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The thing that i'm working on kinda sucks. The customer just released the 7th revision of a 10 page excel spreadsheet (wide enough to fill my screen and then some) detailing the intersection between media types, media weights, media sizes, and input/output trays. It's a painful spec to read, and it turns out we haven't updated since revision 2.

Blech.

Can I say now that i'm bored out of my mind by this kind of high-detail, low-interest tedium?

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meanwhile, i'm on the precipice of a phase transition, and i'm somewhat shying away from it.

i spent four years in law school and working full time. it was time consuming; i was always busy; i was always exhausted. then we moved here, to the city, and i commenced thirteen months of telecommuting. it's a nice life; i can roll out of bed, work, intermingle dishes and laundry and chatting and working out, etc, and as long as i'm getting my bugs fixed and my management tasks done, everyone's at least content.

so i can spend as much, or as little, time on work as i want, in some ways; and beyond that, i'm basically not challenged. so i sorta feel like i'm drifting.

with some prodding from jared, i've started applying for jobs.

it's scary.

i haven't applied for jobs at all since ~2009, when I was terrified I'd be laid off. I haven't really wanted a particular job since 2004.

i'm only applying to jobs i would want. i mean: i have an easy life now. any new job i get will require more effort and will be less convenient. so i should only apply if i'd like the job if i got it.

and i'm lucky; i have little debt, and i have a job, unlike so many of my exclassmates, i don't have to jump at the first thing.

but that means every packet that goes into the mail takes a little bit of my heart with it.

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for all that my life should be low stress, i got into a horrible fight with QA the other day. the product is late and it's of questionable quality; QA is stressed, engineering is stressed. I and two of engineers spent all day Friday and Monday, and I worked half of Saturday, trying to fix two problems of the degree of seriousness: "this software doesn't work at all".

Tuesday, in the weekly bug scrub, QA was complaining about a bug of seriousness: "the software doesn't properly handle paper of default media weights". QA complained that they thought that engineering should be focusing on this above everything else and shouldn't work on anything else until it was fixed.

I sarcastically asked if they really meant that and told them I didn't believe them.

Unprofessional asshole, I was, that day.

(The next day I sent out my first app, which was due on 10/20. Coincidental timing, but I wonder how much that was adding to my stress).

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I like this way of writing a diary. by ana (2.00 / 0) #1 Fri Oct 26, 2012 at 09:13:53 PM EST
Usually I have little bits of ideas of stuff to write, and forget about them by the time I'm actually staring at that empty text box.

Congrats on the job applications; it's scary, but in a good way. And as you say, you're in a position to wait for a job you actually want. Interview them as much as they interview you.

I now know what the noise that is usually spelled "lolwhut" sounds like. --Kellnerin

indeed by LoppEar (2.00 / 0) #6 Sun Oct 28, 2012 at 11:55:08 AM EST
I have very clear moments of working a sentence or description through for a diary, enjoy the exercise, and promptly forget it when I actually sit down here.

I really ought to to have a better note-taking system. I do fine with a legal pad for work, but there's a clear cue of a meeting or a phone call, and an at-the-ready stance for those. Walking through the grocery store, I'm just not likely to take out a notepad, even in those spurts where I've carried one.

I got burned on wanting and investing myself in a job application last time around, it is surely scary.


[ Parent ]
QA by jimgon (2.00 / 0) #2 Sat Oct 27, 2012 at 10:08:05 AM EST
Your PM, assuming you aren't the PM, should have been the dick in that conversation and told QA to screw off.




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Technician - "We can't even get decent physical health care. Mental health is like witchcraft here."
our PM by aphrael (2.00 / 0) #3 Sat Oct 27, 2012 at 12:46:13 PM EST
Many are like that by jimgon (2.00 / 0) #4 Sat Oct 27, 2012 at 07:34:14 PM EST
There are too many bad PMs out there. 




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Technician - "We can't even get decent physical health care. Mental health is like witchcraft here."
[ Parent ]
sadly by aphrael (2.00 / 0) #5 Sat Oct 27, 2012 at 10:59:03 PM EST
i'm the engineering lead, which makes it particularly bad for me to lose my cool like that in an interchange with QA.

the whole team needs a weeklong cruise together.

If television is a babysitter, the internet is a drunk librarian who won't shut up.

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