Print Story poorly planned, last minute and probably ill-advised
Diary
By misslake (Mon Aug 08, 2011 at 06:46:11 PM EST) (all tags)
it was a trip to europe!

sorry i didn't get to see many of you, it was a remarkably good trip despite the lack of forethought and planning.



i think the highlight for me was meeting the wild boars in the game park.
i had been picking and eating blackberries while strolling along, and noticed a particularly good patch - just before i noticed that the fence the blackberries rambled along contained WILD BOARS.
when they looked over at me and perked their ears up, i tossed in a berry.
one enormous tusked head sniffed, then rose, and then snuffled up the berry. the beast then came over and begged for more.
i couldn't keep up with the demand, so ni was picking berries so i could pass them through the fence to the eager piggies.
it was delightful.

it was only partially spoiled by the huge sign that we found just around the next bend warning do not approach the fence, do not get within 3 metres of the boars and especially do not try and feed them. 
i still have as many fingers as i went with, so i consider it a win.

the worst part of the trip was the trip to the local zurich pharmacy.
the pharmacy tech that i spoke to was beautiful. she was between the age of nineteen-and-a-half and twenty four. she was cute, blonde, blue eyed and smiling. she had a rhinestone on one of her front teeth just to give her gleaming smile an extra twinkle.
she spoke hesitant english.
i spoke no german. i speak some french, but it's appalling quebecois french, so i try to avoid using it in europe.
she had noticed that i needed help, so i dove in.
"i have a yeast infection..."
"infection? what is that word? yist?"
she was clearly embarrassed at her uncharacteristic lack of fluent english. i was embarrassed because i didn't know how to communicate the nature of my medical needs with her in french or german.
i had noticed that "candida" was a really popular swiss brand of toothpaste and chewing gum, so i was at a loss for how to explain it to her.
she called over another pharmacy employee, but he was busy and he directed us to the large french-english-german dictionary.
alas, the word for yeast according to that book related only to brewing beer or rising bread and was thus only serving to further muddle up the communication.
"where is infection?" she gestured to her own body and encouraged me to act out my problem.
"my vagina..." i said, she looked confused, so i  resigned myself to the pantomime. i pointed and waved my hands.
"my vagina is VERY ANGRY..."
she was even more embarrassed, and so was i.
she did understand the particulars of the problem, and then nervously giggled and pointed out that we had been using a display for canesten kombi-pack as a table for the dictionary.
i giggled as well.
she was very sympathetic as she rang up a box of the canesten for me.
my vagina was happy again.

much cheese and wine was consumed, and good times were had.
komet is an exceptional host.
i need to go to europe more often.

< power went out last night. | UKian infidels... >
poorly planned, last minute and probably ill-advised | 19 comments (19 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
i had a similar adventure by tierrasimbolica (2.00 / 0) #1 Mon Aug 08, 2011 at 07:00:38 PM EST
trying to buy cold medicine at a pharmacy in a small town in belgium.  apparently they have no such thing.  i settled for some ibuprofen and a separate anti-histamine, neither of which helped very much, alas.  at least they got you taken care of, that's one thing i would definitely not want to be suffering through on vacation.

europe is rad.  can't wait to get back over there.


Wild Boars like berries by littlestar (2.00 / 0) #2 Mon Aug 08, 2011 at 07:55:05 PM EST
and pretty girls. Everybody knows that.

I'm so glad that you had fun, though I couldn't imagine you not. Having fun that is. What horrible sentences I'm making.

Visit soon if everyone is still my friend. : )
*twinkle*twinkle*


yay! by komet (2.00 / 0) #3 Mon Aug 08, 2011 at 08:27:57 PM EST
You should come back. I was not clear that you would leave so soon.

--
<ni> komet: You are functionally illiterate as regards trashy erotica.
Schweinekotelett mit Brombeerensoesse by ammoniacal (2.00 / 0) #4 Tue Aug 09, 2011 at 12:06:47 AM EST
Mmmmm, lecker!

"To this day that was the most bullshit caesar salad I have every experienced..." - triggerfinger

Tut by Vulch (2.00 / 0) #5 Tue Aug 09, 2011 at 04:09:38 AM EST
You should come over in late May or early July.


wow by LilFlightTest (2.00 / 0) #6 Tue Aug 09, 2011 at 07:46:50 AM EST
I had that exact same issue in Austria. Fortunately, since we were with an organized tour group, i was able to pull our (female) trip guide aside and ask her what I should be asking for at the pharmacy. She wrote it down, and I was able to give that to the lady at the pharmacy who directed me to the appropriate product.

I'm glad your vagina is happy again. =)
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if de-virgination results in me being able to birth hammerhead sharks, SIGN ME UP!!! --misslake

Loved reading your adventures by purr (2.00 / 0) #7 Tue Aug 09, 2011 at 01:15:06 PM EST
Glad you had a good time.

On a side note, eating yogart helps with yeast infections.
Life is good when you are young. Then it sucks when you are old. And then you die. Live it while you got it.
No, it doesn't. by ammoniacal (2.00 / 0) #11 Tue Aug 09, 2011 at 05:08:34 PM EST
Yeast are digested when you eat them.

"To this day that was the most bullshit caesar salad I have every experienced..." - triggerfinger

[ Parent ]
Are you calling me a liar? by purr (2.00 / 0) #12 Tue Aug 09, 2011 at 06:25:12 PM EST

Because I do SO know what I am talking about.

HA!

Luv ya. Mean it
Life is good when you are young. Then it sucks when you are old. And then you die. Live it while you got it.
[ Parent ]
I'm pretty sure he was just calling you uninformed by ni (2.00 / 0) #13 Tue Aug 09, 2011 at 08:45:33 PM EST
Of those three links, one is to a blatant candida quackery site, one is to wikianswers (seriously!?!) and the third is to Go Ask Alice. I am slightly sympathic to the last one, so I did bother to read it, only to find that it says that the efficacy of oral administration of yogurt in yeast infection prevent is completely unclear.


"These days it seems like sometimes dreams of Italian hyper-gonadism are all a man's got to keep him going." -- CRwM
[ Parent ]
Oh please! by purr (2.00 / 0) #14 Tue Aug 09, 2011 at 10:04:25 PM EST
I admit those were not the strongest links but Go Ask Alice referenced a medical journal about a research study with promising results.  Googling it pops up tons of results.  I didn't search for medical proof but I will stand by my statement.
Life is good when you are young. Then it sucks when you are old. And then you die. Live it while you got it.
[ Parent ]
They and you are wrongly conflating eating it with by ammoniacal (2.00 / 0) #15 Tue Aug 09, 2011 at 11:21:28 PM EST
transvaginal application of it. Transvaginal.

TRANSVAGINAL.

"To this day that was the most bullshit caesar salad I have every experienced..." - triggerfinger

[ Parent ]
Isn't the Transvaginal in South Africa? by Captain Tenille (4.00 / 2) #18 Wed Aug 10, 2011 at 07:06:07 PM EST
Certainly puts "I've Never Met a Nice South African" in a new light. 

---------

/* You are not expected to understand this. */


[ Parent ]
Yes, it's near the Anulvai Gorge. by ammoniacal (2.00 / 0) #19 Wed Aug 10, 2011 at 08:06:38 PM EST

"To this day that was the most bullshit caesar salad I have every experienced..." - triggerfinger

[ Parent ]
as far as i know, by misslake (4.00 / 1) #16 Wed Aug 10, 2011 at 05:33:56 PM EST
the yogurt goes in the vagina.
i know that lots of women mistakenly put it in thier mouths because of our culutre's sqeemishness in refering to women's vulvas.
when i was younger and i got womanly advice from an older female, "you know hun, yogurt really helps with a yeast infection"
i assumed it was yogurt for eating. she never said not to eat it, and my reproductive organs were a strange mystery to me at the time.
it was years later that someone told me that yogurt really helps if you shove it straight up into the cunt.
but it needs to be plain yogurt, with active cultures. anything sweetened tends to increase the yeasties.

[ Parent ]
This is my understanding by Herring (2.00 / 0) #17 Wed Aug 10, 2011 at 06:01:41 PM EST
Although black cherry would be tasty.

Not sure if anyone has tried applying live yoghurt to Piers Morgan.

christ, we're all old now - StackyMcRacky

[ Parent ]
All this vagina talk by dmg (2.00 / 0) #8 Tue Aug 09, 2011 at 02:12:41 PM EST
Not sure I'm comfortable with it... I mean I'm all for freedom of information and all that, but where do we draw the line?

--
dmg - HuSi's most dimwitted overprivileged user.
Are you trying to censor Husi? by purr (4.00 / 1) #9 Tue Aug 09, 2011 at 03:53:53 PM EST

Just close your eyes and cover your ears and think pretty thoughts.  Everything will be better then.
Besides it's just a little TMI.

Life is good when you are young. Then it sucks when you are old. And then you die. Live it while you got it.
[ Parent ]
To paraphrase blackadder's thoughts on cotton.. by dmg (4.00 / 1) #10 Tue Aug 09, 2011 at 04:21:39 PM EST
I'm quite happy to use a vagina but I don't need to know how it works.
--
dmg - HuSi's most dimwitted overprivileged user.
[ Parent ]
poorly planned, last minute and probably ill-advised | 19 comments (19 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback