Print Story Cut Your Face
By Gedvondur (Wed Jun 01, 2011 at 01:05:15 AM EST) razors, rant, irritation, CUT YOUR FACE (all tags)
Some thoughts on shaving.  That's right, shaving. 

I've been shaving my face since I was twelve.  Lots of men think that is a somewhat macho statistic, especially since I know grown men who don't have to shave more than once or twice a week.  You know what it really is?  A long-term pain in the ass, not some proof that my mating tackle has extra swerve.

I have worn a beard, in some form since I was 18 too.  I was working at the time in a small computer shop and we sold to the home market.  I could sell the right system to just about anybody.  The folks I couldn't sell to?  A family unit under 30 with children/baby(ies).  None of them wanted to buy from an 18 year old, even though they were by and large closest to my own age.  My boss, in his thirties at the time could sell to them no problem.  I grew a beard and it added five years to my appearent age.  Voila, I could make those sales.  

My father is a regular razor guy.  He taught me to shave with the standard Gilette Atra or whatever they called it before adding 18 bajillion blades to it.  For years we also used shaving soap and a brush.  Shaving was done in the shower, with one of those little suction-cup no-fog mirrors.  It was easy, convenient and didn't make a mess in the sink.  Plus the water pressure was good for getting stubble and hair out of the razor between strokes.  Better than swishing it in a sink full of water, anyway.   To this day, unless I am on the road I shave in the shower.

I was 35 or 36 before I ever had or used an electric razor.  I get a LOT of ingrown hairs on my face and I got one to try and keep that to a minimum.  Truth is, I didn't like it that much.  I bought a good one, a Braun.  Nice unit, but just doesn't cut as close as a blade. I still use it on the road some times.

The thing that is really chapping my ass is that I can't find a decent blade razor anymore.  All I can get are these stupid Gilette and Schick razors with all the fucking blades on them and that DAMNED huge swivel action.  Sweet apple pie, the fucking head will move like a mother-loving inch! NO!

Is it wrong that I just want a plain old Sensor or Atra or whatever the fuck they called it?  I don't need a poorly designed razor with 99 blades and a fucking stupid MOISTURE STRIP on it.  I don't WANT a Pro-Glide-Anal-Action-Vibrating-Head razor.  I just want a fucking razor. Two little blades, and a tilt-angle head with a small degree of movement.  I don't NEED a fucking ergonomic handle with your logo in flashing fucking neon.

Yet, I get very little choice.  Oh, I can still get Sensor refills. They come in 10 packs for twenty bucks a throw.  Real cute, guys.  Razors are CHEAP.  Pricing me out of the Sensor and making it HELL to find the refills to boot is really pissing me off. I can't hardly find Sensor or Excel refills locally. 

The last Pro-Glide or whateverthefuck it was I bought actually came with an ORANGE head and had a moisture strip big enough to catch the drippings at a 70s orgy.  To make it worse the fucking REFILLS are more expensive YET.

Gah, super irritated.  Fucking razors.

Oh, one last thing, for the HuSi ladies who live with someone who shaves their face.  DON'T FUCKING TOUCH THE FACE RAZOR WITHOUT TELLING.  Shaving your legs even once is like shaving my face 20 times.  You dull the shit out of my razors and then I come out of the shower looking like I walked face-first through a plate-glass window.

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Cut Your Face | 16 comments (16 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
Interesting by TheophileEscargot (4.00 / 1) #1 Wed Jun 01, 2011 at 01:48:59 AM EST
The "Gillette Atra" brand name is new to me, but seems to be much the same as the "Gillette Contour Plus" I used for most of my life. (I recently switched to a double-edged safety razor).

Now for the Contour Plus, I found that off-brand knock-off blades were much cheaper and almost as good. Have you tried searching Amazon for Atra compatible?
It is unlikely that the good of a snail should reside in its shell: so is it likely that the good of a man should?

Amazon no, locally yes by Gedvondur (2.00 / 0) #9 Wed Jun 01, 2011 at 09:31:09 AM EST
I have had bad luck with 3rd party replacement heads for the razor. They all seem to have sharpness issues.  I'll check amazon, thanks for the tip!

"Adrenaline dumbs pain" - xth
[ Parent ]
Hmm by anonimouse (4.00 / 1) #2 Wed Jun 01, 2011 at 03:31:36 AM EST
Depending on availability I go for Sensor Excel or Mach 3.

I never got on with single blade razors; I think one of the functions of the swivelly heady razors is that they reduce my ability to cut myself..

Girls come and go but a mortgage is for 25 years -- JtL
Shower shaving by Phage (4.00 / 1) #3 Wed Jun 01, 2011 at 04:27:48 AM EST
FTW - Also because you don't have to clean the sink afterwards.

and if you're severe;y myopic by georgeha (4.00 / 2) #4 Wed Jun 01, 2011 at 06:44:38 AM EST
and can't see anything without glasses, you might as well shave in the shower by feel.

[ Parent ]
Amen, brother. by yicky yacky (4.00 / 1) #5 Wed Jun 01, 2011 at 08:03:05 AM EST

The ones with the £10 3-blade re-ups don't work for me as they don't last sufficiently longer than cheaper ones to justify the cost.

I've used an old-school straight-blade folder (plus soap and brush) in the past with some success, but it eventually lost itself somewhere in Europe and I haven't yet been motivated to stump up the price for a good new one -- plus there's always the "accidentally kill yourself" outside chance. I really do like the idea of one that lasts indefinitely and that you can maintain yourself, though.

Electrics are a pain in the rear, as they're almost good enough to be a solution, but not quite. They don't shave quite as close as a wet blade, but they've advanced to the point where it's close enough for government work and they are convenient. I've just never used one yet where the blades didn't dull unacceptably within a month of use, and the blade replacements on some of them make the cost of some of the re-up ones look like a pittance.

These days I use a double-pronged strategy: 'Not shaving' alternating with using off-brand, double-bladed disposables. They work well enough for what they are and have a useful life at least 70% as long as the re-up blades, while being a fraction of the cost. The inefficiency leaves a bad taste, though. Over time, that steel and plastic mounts up. It seems kind of wasteful.

Shite men's burden ...

Vacuity abhors a vacuum.
Indeed by Gedvondur (4.00 / 1) #10 Wed Jun 01, 2011 at 09:41:35 AM EST
I went through a phase with disposables, but I've never been satisfied with them.

As to straight razors, I don't want the maintenance and frankly, I think I will end up a bloody mess using one.

As to my electric, I've replaced the blade head on it once, it was expensive, relatively speaking.  I do have to say I use most of the same strategy as you do from a "not shaving" perspective.  I still wear a beard, so it's not so necessary every day.  Plus I work from home so it really doesn't matter. The whole thing is just frustrating.

"Adrenaline dumbs pain" - xth
[ Parent ]
I shave twice a week or so by theboz (4.00 / 4) #6 Wed Jun 01, 2011 at 08:17:28 AM EST
However, I don't mind wearing stubble like a slob.

For the rest of your rant, right on brother.  It's like all these companies that make health and beauty products are just now catching up to the late 80's or something.  Next I expect to find "X-TREME SURGE SHAVING KIT!" with blades that go in a flexible loop like a tank tread, but with moisturizing strips in between that fill your pores with caffeinated gel.  The same problems also fit tooth brushes, which makes sense since they are made by the same people.  Next up on their improvement agenda, fluorescent orange maxi pads with built in MP3 players that are moisture triggered and play some Blink 182 to notify you when you need to change them.
- - - - -
That's what I always say about you, boz, you have a good memory for random facts about pussy. -- joh3n

lol n/t by Gedvondur (2.00 / 0) #11 Wed Jun 01, 2011 at 09:42:32 AM EST

"Adrenaline dumbs pain" - xth
[ Parent ]
I just shave every 3-4 months by infinitera (4.00 / 1) #7 Wed Jun 01, 2011 at 08:24:14 AM EST
And go for the homeless beard in the meantime.

Less skin irritation, and it doesn't take time away from the day.

[…] a professional layabout. Which I aspire to be, but am not yet. — CheeseburgerBrown

Heh by Gedvondur (2.00 / 0) #12 Wed Jun 01, 2011 at 09:46:47 AM EST
I've done that in the winter, but with a little beard maintenance in order to keep out of the homeless category.  The thing is my beard is really thick and after a four or five months of long, heavy beard the skin under all that starts to get irritated.  No amount of brushing, scrubbing or products seems to do the trick.  I end up after about four or five months shaving it off just to let my skin breathe a bit.

"Adrenaline dumbs pain" - xth
[ Parent ]
I shave a couple of times a week by spiralx (4.00 / 1) #8 Wed Jun 01, 2011 at 09:23:10 AM EST
Mostly because if I wanted my face to be smooth I'd be shaving every day at least. I use one of the razors you seem to despise - a Gillette Fusion with 5 blades and vibrating action (fnar fnar), and haven't yet cut myself once with it, even if the blades have gotten a bit blunt. I've got thick hair though, and the last time I used a two-blade razor it felt like I'd scraped the shit out of my face, and I managed to cut myself a couple of times.

Scissors. 2-3 times a year. by ana (4.00 / 1) #13 Wed Jun 01, 2011 at 10:07:21 AM EST
Whether it needs it or not.

"And this ... is a piece of Synergy." --Kellnerin

Heh by Gedvondur (2.00 / 0) #14 Wed Jun 01, 2011 at 10:14:38 AM EST
I can't do that, I'd have hair from the bottom of my eyes down to connecting seamlessly with my chest hair.  *shudder*  :-)

"Adrenaline dumbs pain" - xth
[ Parent ]
Razors by Herring (4.00 / 1) #15 Wed Jun 01, 2011 at 02:44:26 PM EST
It is silly. I've been using one of the Gillette Fusion things on my face and legs. Yeah, it gets expensive. There has to be a cheaper option - possibly growing my leg hair back.

christ, we're all old now - StackyMcRacky
It's already been said by barooo (4.00 / 1) #16 Wed Jun 01, 2011 at 06:13:53 PM EST
Double Edged razor.  The best ones are antique gilettes from the 50's, I'm partial to the Gilette Fat Boy, although I think it's really just a matter of finding a good sample of something that's 50 years old, I have another model that's supposed to be awesome and it sucks.  The merkur HD is good, but it's more aggressive, meaning easier to cut yourself or get razor burn.

Pros: dirt cheap blades, no landfill garbage.

Cons: You have to go slow so it takes  a minute or two longer to shave, and ther'es a learning curve while you figure out how not to turn your neck into hamburger.  But after 6 months it's way better than a mach 3. 

man, i need a beefy taco now.
Cut Your Face | 16 comments (16 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback