Print Story Boobies
By yankeehack (Sat Dec 31, 2011 at 05:48:52 AM EST) (all tags)
A conversation about boobies and teenagers

So LO and I were having a discussion in the car last night as we were coming home from a family function.

LO states how happy she is to have already gone through puberty and how she's all done with the pimples, the mood swings and that she has her boobies already. Because of this, LO has turned into the girl that all the boys talk to about their problems.

Then, LO starts telling about her friend M, a boy. 

LO says "M is that kind of weird [We had been talking about a cousin who wasn't gay but wasn't interested in being with a girl either.] Mom, all that M thinks and talks about are boobies. All the time he talks about boobies."

Me to LO, "Well that sounds like a lot of grown up men that I know."

LO: "M is afraid that he'll never touch them." M is 14 or so. "He says that he's too lazy to go out and find a girl. All that he ever does is stay in his basement and play games."

Me: "Well, he'll have to go out and find a girl if he wants to touch them. In the meantime, go tell M that they are like a bag of sand."

LO: "No, Mom, they aren't like a bag of sand." LO doesn't get the reference. "They're like a bag of...jello. Two of them. On my chest."

Me: Trying not to laugh... "So why do you think M is so fascinated with boobies?"

LO: "I don't know? Because they look like butt cheeks and boys like butts? Or maybe the whole Mom comforting thing?"

Me: "Maybe Mom didn't comfort him enough?"

LO: "No, his Mom has big boobs. Big Mom boobs, too."

< It's true what they say about your first Doctor | You've read *how* many? >
Boobies | 16 comments (16 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
In my mind by clock (4.00 / 4) #1 Sat Dec 31, 2011 at 10:22:58 AM EST
I am already hunting M for sport. Eyes up, mister.

I agree with clock entirely --Kellnerin

no no by dev trash (4.00 / 1) #7 Sat Dec 31, 2011 at 10:18:32 PM EST
It's the NICE ones that look a gal in the eye ya gotta watch out for.(most of the time)

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This entry is useless without by Herring (4.00 / 8) #2 Sat Dec 31, 2011 at 11:00:03 AM EST
ammo posting "this entry is useless without pix".

M has even shittier lines that I had at that age. Or any age come to that.

christ, we're all old now - StackyMcRacky

Cleavage is like the sun: by ammoniacal (4.00 / 6) #3 Sat Dec 31, 2011 at 12:09:07 PM EST
Acknowledge its presence, but don't stare.

"To this day that was the most bullshit caesar salad I have every experienced..." - triggerfinger

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So...... by curmudgeon (4.00 / 2) #4 Sat Dec 31, 2011 at 08:50:25 PM EST
What boy M is missing is the internal filter that keeps most of us from saying that out loud.

Once he DOES touch them, he'll simply go from being afraid he'll never touch them to being afraid he'll never touch them again.  

It's not momma issues, we're fascinated with boobies because mother nature programmed us that way.  Procreation of the species and all that.  They're just magical.  Accept it and move forward.

Get over it.
Did mother nature program us that way? by lm (4.00 / 1) #5 Sat Dec 31, 2011 at 10:05:31 PM EST
I haven't read a serious book on sociology in ages but the last time I did, one of the points sociologists loved to bring out is that sexualization of the female breast seems to be enculturation. That is to say that there are cultures in which the female breast is not considered sexual at all.

There is no more degenerate kind of state than that in which the richest are supposed to be the best.
Cicero, The Republic
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Yes, but those cultures are probably by johnny (4.00 / 1) #6 Sat Dec 31, 2011 at 10:17:46 PM EST

I'm not saying they're wrong.

Only, probably wrong.

Meanwhile, although M. is just a young guy who has not yet figured out how to keep his yap shut when custom demands he keep it shut, I'm generally of the opinion that us old fart HuSians can stomp his head if necessary to provide corrective thinking.  Just let us know, please.

She has effectively checked out. She's an un-person of her own making. So it falls to me.--ad hoc (in the hole)

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Stomping on heads shouldn't be necessary by lm (4.00 / 1) #8 Sun Jan 01, 2012 at 12:16:31 AM EST
The path to victory lies in M coming up with the idea of his head being stomped on by the appropriate parties all on his own and then convincing himself that it is a very probably outcome if the wrong line is transgressed.

Second best is getting LO to think that M's head will be stomped on if the wrong line is transgressed. This makes it less likely that LO will be the line which is transgressed.

And third of all, who picked out M as a moniker?

And fourth of all, I'm not sure why HuSi needs getting involved. There aren't many people on this site I'd fear giving me whatfor more than yankeehack. I suspect her mother bear instincts are far more fine tuned and far more accurate when it comes to LO than the rest of us put together.

There is no more degenerate kind of state than that in which the richest are supposed to be the best.
Cicero, The Republic
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I'm not sure why HuSi needs getting involved by dev trash (4.00 / 1) #9 Sun Jan 01, 2012 at 01:16:55 AM EST
we've got her back...just in case, yo.

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I agree by curmudgeon (4.00 / 3) #11 Sun Jan 01, 2012 at 04:19:37 AM EST
Ms. Hack picked out M in the diary body.

HuSi probably doesn't need getting involved.  No way I'd get between Ms. Hack and LO.  Sounds like a recipe for severe pain.

That being said.  Ms. Hack titled her diary "Boobies".  Probably one of the top 3 single word diary titles guaranteed to ensure readership.  Cause you know, BOOBIES!!!!!!!

Get over it.
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No No by yankeehack (2.00 / 0) #13 Sun Jan 01, 2012 at 01:31:29 PM EST
I know the kid, I feel bad for him.

He's your typical shorter than average, rounder than average 14 year old kid. His parents are divorced and he lives with his Mom and some of his extended family and a pot bellied pig...which makes him even weirder to all the kids

If anything, I don't think he has a trusted male role model to talk to. But at least he's talking about his feelings. LO was trying to strategize with him on how to get a girl.
"...she dares to indulge in the secret sport. You can't be a MILF with the F, at least in part because the M is predicated upon it."-CBB

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I've probably never read a serious sociology book by curmudgeon (4.00 / 1) #10 Sun Jan 01, 2012 at 04:15:09 AM EST
It just sounded good at the time.

Get over it.
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At least he's honest. by wiredog (4.00 / 1) #12 Sun Jan 01, 2012 at 11:34:19 AM EST
Something to be said for honesty. Heck, I like boobies (but not 14 year olds, yuck). That said, last night at the formal New Years Eve dance I noticed that the group I hang out with has lots of great legs.

Earth First!
(We can strip mine the rest later.)

Teenagers are so effin' awkward by georgeha (4.00 / 1) #14 Sun Jan 01, 2012 at 03:34:31 PM EST
At last night's party, there was a boy in most of fifteen year old's classes. They both got their braces off in the last few months. They've known each other for years.

Despite having all that in common, they didn't speak a word to each other.

teenagers? people in general by garlic (4.00 / 1) #15 Tue Jan 03, 2012 at 04:53:08 PM EST
my 30 year old cousin and 34 year old buddy were afraid to ask each other out after hanging out at parties at my place 2 weekends in a row.

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Amen. by ambrosen (2.00 / 0) #16 Thu Jan 12, 2012 at 08:29:31 AM EST
No comment.

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Boobies | 16 comments (16 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback