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Diary
By ReallyEvilCanine (Fri Jul 09, 2010 at 09:36:18 AM EST) communications skills, backstabbing, memory (all tags)
Internal Ticket: DE1755-FG12
From: REC
Subject: Smee again. Moar mail quota pleez
Summary: GeeMale gives me seven gigs per account but I can't use them for corporate mail. Please increase my one account here to 500MB.

Poll: Weather: what's worse?
x-posted to da brog.



Memory is a tricky thing. Misremembering is terribly common. "Didn't the same thing happen a couple of years ago?" Close, but since $Thing wasn't terribly important, time has passed, and a few details match up, the mind tries to fill in the rest, usually to my detriment. And any time some ├╝bermanager misremembers something about me I have to nip it in the bud quickly or suffer the consequences of a (not always undeserved) bad reputation, such as with my "communications skills"

-----Original Message-----
From: $MegaCorp IT
Sent: 2010.06.12 21:08
To: REC
Subject: Re: Ticket DE1755-FG12 - Smee again. Moar mail quota pleez

Your inbox contains over 14,000 mails. Your older mail should be archived. We must have a justification for this amount of mail server usage.


Justification 1: Since even the programmers come to me for Unicode help and I'm an expert in Areas $1, $2 and $3, I have to constantly send & receive large diagnostic files. Because I am often working remotely these files must remain on the server to ensure transfer.

Justification 2: We have a some lying motherfuckers here and I have to cover my ass, which means searching through three fucking years of mail using my wife's $300 netbook on a borrowed wireless connection during my vacation instead of walking my kid on the beach.

From: Sal P.
Sent: 2010.04.22 21:51
To: REC
Subject: Legit question
No problem. Sorry but we're waiting on QA for confirmation. I'll let you know as soon as I have the info.

From: Sal P.
Sent: 2010.04.23 21:36
To: REC
Subject: Re: Legit question
Body: Any update?
I told you yesterday we're waiting on QA. I also told you yesterday that I'll let you know as soon as I have the info.

From: Sal P.
Sent: 2010.05.03 21:36
To: REC
Subject: Re: Legit question
Body: ANY UPDATE YET?????????
You're pissing me off, Sal. When I get the info I'll fucking tell you.

From: Sal P.
Sent: 2010.05.11 22:15
To: REC
CC: $Clueless1, $Clueless2, Sal's_Manager
Subject: REC won't answer my question!
I don't have QA confirmation yet. Wash out your twatsilicates.

From: Sal's_Manager
Sent: 2010.05.20 00:47
To: Sal's_Manager's_Manager
CC: Sal
Subject: FW: Re: REC won't answer my question!
Body: REC should answer Sal's question.
You fucking fuck.

From: Sal's_Manager's_Manager
Sent: 2010.05.26 03:18
To: Sal's_Manager's_Manager's_Manager
CC: Sal, Sal's_Manager, Sal's_Manager's_Manager
Subject: Re: FW: RE: REC won't answer my question!
Body: REC should answer Sal's question.
No surprise.

From: Sal's_Manager's_Manager's_Manager
Sent: 2010.06.01 09:14
To: REC's_Manager
CC: Sal, Sal's_Manager, Sal's_Manager's_Manager
Subject: Re: FW: RE: REC won't answer my question!
Body: REC should answer Sal's question. Didn't we have a problem with with REC's responsiveness before? Please discuss the matter with him.
WTF?

From: REC's_Manager
Sent: 2010.06.03 09:14
To: REC
Subject: FW: Re: FW: RE: REC won't answer my question!
Body:Can you please respond to Sal's question immediately?
Surprise!!!

I'mma bury this bitch. But as my paws pound out the poison I remember that I need to look "dignified" and "professional" so I try to channel Lassie and "set him on fire" in a way that won't burn me as well.

From: REC
Sent: 2010.06.01 11:33
To: everyone in the two mail chains
Subject: Re: FW: Re: REC won't answer my question!
Attachment: $Mail1, $Mail2, $Mail3, $Mail4, $Mail5, $Mail6
Body:All,

I have already sent out an E-Mail explaining that this document has been updated. Attached please see the mails I'd previously sent directly to Sal (22 April, 23 April and again a week later on 03 May -- attachments 1-3) that QA had to confirm information about $Problem. Once I finally had the information I updated documents and included a special note. This was only just confirmed and approved by QA on 18 May.

I updated and then announced the document to my manager on 19May. He forwarded this to $REC's_Manager's_Manager to then be pushed worldwide (see attachment 4). I also sent a direct note to Sal and included a copy of that announcement mail (attachment 5), answering his question in full and adding a lot of extra information to ensure customer satisfaction with Sal's thorough answer.

I'm sorry it took so long but that was entirely out of my hands. I don't have the authority to make QA confirmations such as those concerning this or any other similar matter.

This is not the first time Sal has demonstrated a lack of patience and understanding of the business processes we follow. Two years ago Sal started escalating demands for response and action on my part as we waited for a patch simply because I was the one who filed the defect (see attachments 5 & 6). Perhaps that is what Sal's_Manager's_Manager's_Manager is thinking of because we have had no other direct contact since then.

Please note that I have been on vacation for the past 10 days and will not be back in the office until next Friday.

Love,
REC


The ├╝bermanager remembers he was bothered with some petty shit involving me. The upside is that now with this repetition and reinforcement he'll remember it's all because of his own fuckwit underling and not me.

And now it's all BadPuppy's time. She hasn't learned to be furious at these fuckwits yet but she's making it abundantly clear that she's annoyed Papa Dog wasn't paying enough attention to his whelp.

< I have ants in my house | with their families >
A Day in the Life -- Inbox: (412/13279) | 14 comments (14 topical, 1 hidden) | Trackback
Work computer stuff by duxup (2.00 / 0) #2 Fri Jul 09, 2010 at 10:18:34 AM EST
There was a nice comic I saw on the web somewhere that showed an app on the iphone where you just touch a button to make something happen.  Then showed Google's simple layout.  Then they showed an example of your standard work application with assloads of forms with nonsensical names.   Yeah that seems right.

____
Are those dates accurate by anonimouse (2.00 / 0) #3 Fri Jul 09, 2010 at 10:32:28 AM EST
It still seems as though it takes several weeks or even a month or two to get a question answered, which seems a bit long...even if the delay wasn't down to you.


Girls come and go but a mortgage is for 25 years -- JtL
They're "accurate" by ReallyEvilCanine (2.00 / 0) #4 Fri Jul 09, 2010 at 10:37:44 AM EST
Relative to the real dates, anyway. The problem was a bit complex and required several layers of testing, fixing and authorising.

the internet: amplifier of stupidity -- discordia

[ Parent ]
If you had a real ticket system by anonimouse (2.00 / 0) #6 Fri Jul 09, 2010 at 10:45:20 AM EST
Would the ticket have not been passed to QA and become their responsibility until they came back with an answer, or linked to a separate ticket that tracked progress through the "testing, fixing and authorising" stages?


Girls come and go but a mortgage is for 25 years -- JtL
[ Parent ]
QA have nowt t' do wi' us by ReallyEvilCanine (4.00 / 2) #9 Fri Jul 09, 2010 at 10:54:23 AM EST
They use a completely different system. I'd call 'em lucky barstewards but most of the fuckers are in Bangalore and the only decisions they're allowed to make on their own is what to have for lunch.

the internet: amplifier of stupidity -- discordia

[ Parent ]
I have 250 megs by georgeha (2.00 / 0) #5 Fri Jul 09, 2010 at 10:40:10 AM EST
almost daily I need to delete stuff. It doesn't help when the hotline mails me a 9 meg rtf file, just because.


9MB RTF = 34K zipped? by ReallyEvilCanine (2.00 / 0) #7 Fri Jul 09, 2010 at 10:50:26 AM EST
Even better are TIFFs. Embedded in MS Word.

the internet: amplifier of stupidity -- discordia

[ Parent ]
zipped? by georgeha (2.00 / 0) #8 Fri Jul 09, 2010 at 10:54:16 AM EST
Thats some arcane magic, it might be too much juju, sometimes our hotline can't even use google.


[ Parent ]
That's a pretty bad case of Silica Vaginosis. by ammoniacal (2.00 / 2) #10 Fri Jul 09, 2010 at 10:55:59 AM EST
Root Cause: Sal's a Wop.

"To this day that was the most bullshit caesar salad I have every experienced..." - triggerfinger

Um by nightflameblue (4.00 / 1) #11 Fri Jul 09, 2010 at 02:14:58 PM EST
The upside is that now with this repetition and reinforcement he'll remember it's all because of his own fuckwit underling and not me.

Can I remind you of this two or three years from now when you're going through almost exactly the same conversation again? Managers remember nothing. Especially when it's one of their own that fuck up.



that's why we keep email archives. by clover kicker (2.00 / 0) #12 Fri Jul 09, 2010 at 06:37:57 PM EST
Lots and lots of email archives.

[ Parent ]
wait by LilFlightTest (2.00 / 0) #13 Fri Jul 09, 2010 at 07:44:40 PM EST
are you me? because that sounds suspiciously like what i deal with at work all the freakin time.
---------
if de-virgination results in me being able to birth hammerhead sharks, SIGN ME UP!!! --misslake
(Comment Deleted) by xth (2.00 / 0) #14 Sat Jul 10, 2010 at 06:01:24 AM EST

This comment has been deleted by xth



A Day in the Life -- Inbox: (412/13279) | 14 comments (14 topical, 1 hidden) | Trackback