Print Story Shedyssey Part Four: Even Heavier Lifting. With splinters.
Diary
By Breaker (Sat Jul 24, 2010 at 03:22:58 AM EST) (all tags)
So, the foundation is in place, the shed is ordered.

Fucking cockends at work will not grant me a week's holiday as the given date for the shed delivery is 3 weeks hence, and according to company policy, I must give 4 weeks notice for holiday of over 2 days.

You cunts.

Apparently I am to count myself lucky to be granted the Friday off, to receive the shed.



CV updated, and a four day weekend looms.

The shed has come from Estonia, which makes me chuckle a little as that was where I had my stag do.  A frantic call from the manufacturer tells me I'm missing a door (but not the door frame), and it'll be with me Wednesday next week.

Shed arrives at about 11 am on the Friday.

The driver is a friendly Polish bloke, with an interesting perspective on why Poland is crap and Englandland is teh bestest.  I ask him why he's left Poland as the chixxors are hotter over there; he beams widely and tells me all the hottest chixxors from Poland are already in England.  And some in Ireland, but they don't like it so much because it rains all the time.

He's also not too helpful getting the wood off the truck, tinkering with his variable suspension at every opportunity whilst my good mate A (currently still laid off) cycles over to give me a hand getting the shed off the truck.

Fuck me that's a lot of wood.

During this, my Dad turns up unexpectedly.  I might have mentioned this before, but if your Dad isn't my Dad, I feel sorry for you.

My Dad is the bestest Dad, EVAR.  He's got an awayday pass from Mum, which turns into a few day awayday pass.  Until he goes on holiday next Thursday, for which he is apologetic.

Me, I'm just glad to see him.  Everything's always better when my Dad is around, it's like he always rolls a 20 on the dice of happiness and positivity.

Have I ever mentioned that if your Dad isn't my Dad, I feel sorry for you?

All day the three of us carry wood from the pavement to the back yard.  I was hoping to get started building on this day, but it's not going to happen.  MBW carries the lighter and smaller parts through, then goes all OCD by labelling each piece with a part number from the building plan.

We carry each piece of wood through the house on a hot day.  Eventually it is all in the back yard, and the truck driver tells us his truck is now 1.3 tonnes lighter.

1.3 fucking tonnes!

The wood is stacked in the back garden, ready for tomorrow.  It's all cedarwood, and it smells great.

MBW cooks us a nice dinner and my Dad and I repair to to the pub for some gentlemanly discourse and some pool.  Unfortunately my eye is not in and he whips me 5-2.  He's been playing snooker a lot of late, he explains.  Ever since I whipped him 9-0, 9-0, 9-0, 9-0, 9-0 at squash when I was 15 it has been no quarter given between us when playing head to head.  I like that.

The shed is here, my Dad has come up trumps by coming up without telling me, and we look forward to tomorrow's hangover, and the beginning of the building of the shed.

Have I ever mentioned, if your Dad isn't my Dad, I feel sorry for you?

Tomorrow, we begin to build the SHED OF POWAH!

--------------------------
If you voted £1000 in Shedyssey part 3, you were right.  How the fuck the builder makes money on that is beyond me; his team were skilled and all the materials were delivered rather than bought at the builders merchants.  As a low tax fancier, when he offered 17.5% off the price for the work if I paid in cash, I went to the bank that day.

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Shedyssey Part Four: Even Heavier Lifting. With splinters. | 20 comments (20 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
that's no shed by MillMan (4.00 / 1) #1 Sat Jul 24, 2010 at 03:31:02 AM EST
IT"S A BATTLE STATION!!!!

"Just as there are no atheists in foxholes, there are no libertarians in financial crises." -Krugman

maybe even by MillMan (4.00 / 1) #2 Sat Jul 24, 2010 at 03:32:46 AM EST
A SPACE STATION!!!

"Just as there are no atheists in foxholes, there are no libertarians in financial crises." -Krugman

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As I said in part 3 by Breaker (2.00 / 0) #3 Sat Jul 24, 2010 at 03:46:01 AM EST
There is no subterranean missile silo, rocket boosters nor clever rooftop launchpad, due to budgetary restraints.

By the time we'd finished, there wasn't even enough money to buy a fluffy white haired cat, far less an expensive leather chair and a big diamond on a velvet chain for the kitty.


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IAWTP by ammoniacal (4.00 / 1) #4 Sat Jul 24, 2010 at 07:14:59 AM EST
Polish wimminz > English strumpets

"To this day that was the most bullshit caesar salad I have every experienced..." - triggerfinger

In fact . . . by ammoniacal (4.00 / 1) #5 Sat Jul 24, 2010 at 07:17:30 AM EST
I hope the Polish hookers stick around and refresh your gene pool.

"To this day that was the most bullshit caesar salad I have every experienced..." - triggerfinger

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They don't seem to be doing that. by Breaker (4.00 / 1) #6 Sat Jul 24, 2010 at 09:49:49 AM EST
I've noticed in the bars that the Eastern Europeans do seem to be absent behind the bar more and more.

Looks like they've turned up, earnt their wedge and gone home.  I reckon the falling pound has had a lot to do with this too; no longer so lucrative earning a pound and turning it into a bajillion zlotys.

The tradesmen still seem to be here though, but a lot of them keep their families in their home country.  Still means they can apply for UKian family tax credits and housing benefit though, even if it's paid to someone not in the country, which is a bit fucked up I think.


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Your HR policy sucks. by ammoniacal (2.00 / 0) #9 Sat Jul 24, 2010 at 01:33:15 PM EST
Sounds like they're hiding behind doCUmeNTS.

"To this day that was the most bullshit caesar salad I have every experienced..." - triggerfinger

[ Parent ]
That's what you get by Breaker (4.00 / 1) #16 Sun Jul 25, 2010 at 06:10:10 AM EST
After 13 years of Socialism.

Socialism - killing countries since Marx died.


[ Parent ]
That's not a shed by StackyMcRacky (2.00 / 0) #7 Sat Jul 24, 2010 at 12:58:01 PM EST
That's a guest house!!

yeah, a metric tonne of building materials ... by lm (2.00 / 0) #10 Sat Jul 24, 2010 at 04:53:43 PM EST
... in the US, we'd call that a garage except there is no way to get a car into Breaker's backyard unless it fits in through the front door.

There is no more degenerate kind of state than that in which the richest are supposed to be the best.
Cicero, The Republic
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Half of the fence by Breaker (2.00 / 0) #12 Sat Jul 24, 2010 at 08:50:24 PM EST
Came through next doors...


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In which case by Breaker (2.00 / 0) #15 Sat Jul 24, 2010 at 08:59:14 PM EST
I'd better get some guests!

You and your family would of course, be most welcome in my house.


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so many trips by StackyMcRacky (2.00 / 0) #18 Sun Jul 25, 2010 at 03:04:32 PM EST
so little time!

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No rush. by Breaker (2.00 / 0) #20 Mon Jul 26, 2010 at 05:14:01 AM EST
You and clock and family will always be welcome in my house.

If you're ever in Englandland come and see us!


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it's enough for two sheds. by gzt (4.00 / 1) #8 Sat Jul 24, 2010 at 01:13:36 PM EST
just think about it. you could be "two sheds" breaker.

Busted by Breaker (2.00 / 0) #14 Sat Jul 24, 2010 at 08:55:22 PM EST
It is indeed a tale of 2 sheds...


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No lowes there ? by sasquatchan (4.00 / 1) #11 Sat Jul 24, 2010 at 08:13:12 PM EST
or lumber yard ?

Maybe I need to see the finished product, but neighbor built a good shed with far, far less wood. Framed it with 2x4s, plywood on the outside, then trussed and shingled plywood roof, and plastic siding.

Travis Perkins by Breaker (2.00 / 0) #13 Sat Jul 24, 2010 at 08:54:23 PM EST
Which is where I bought the felt.

The finished product took a while; be thankful you'll just have a few more days to think about it.

Because it took about 4 fucking months to build...


[ Parent ]
yeah by sasquatchan (2.00 / 0) #17 Sun Jul 25, 2010 at 02:10:34 PM EST
because the 2x4s and plywood took 2 weekends to put together..

[ Parent ]
Cheap == quick by Breaker (2.00 / 0) #19 Sun Jul 25, 2010 at 05:42:27 PM EST
This is a log cabin, with windows and doors.

Trust me, that detail costs time.


[ Parent ]
Shedyssey Part Four: Even Heavier Lifting. With splinters. | 20 comments (20 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback