Print Story ATTENTION: Orthodox infidels
Diary
By nathan (Sat Jun 19, 2010 at 07:22:19 PM EST) Calvinism (all tags)
I just discovered the true meaning of Calvinism and it's scary. I need someone to make the badness go away.


So entirely against my will, a recently-Calvinist friend of mine has started trying to Calvinize me. OK, whatever. But it wasn't until just now that the true meaning of Calvinism really hit me.

I pointed out that preaching is intended to convince people, and that it doesn't make sense to convince people whose wills are totally unfree. He responded that preaching is only an efficient cause. That is, he denied that there was anything achieved or intended by preaching other than conveying election to the elect.

The more I thought about this, the more disturbing and creepy I found it. It was internally consistent but so gruesome! I felt exactly the same about it as I did listening to hard materialists argue for deterministic thinking and experience.
< A little out of date. What can I say? Some weeks, I'm slow. | Long Days >
ATTENTION: Orthodox infidels | 15 comments (15 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
Wake me when there's a real Calvinist Church. by ammoniacal (2.00 / 0) #1 Sat Jun 19, 2010 at 08:01:59 PM EST
Until that day, there's nothing to be alarmed by.

"To this day that was the most bullshit caesar salad I have every experienced..." - triggerfinger

Pullman made Calvin the Pope by nathan (2.00 / 0) #2 Sat Jun 19, 2010 at 08:33:54 PM EST
In His Dark Materials. Hmm.


[ Parent ]
You don't live in the Bible Belt, do you? by lm (4.00 / 1) #4 Sun Jun 20, 2010 at 01:16:44 AM EST
There are plenty of real Calvinist religious movements. Let's just say that the Freewill Baptists have a valid reason for pre-pending the the Freewill to Baptist as a descriptor of their theology.

If you have doubts, I can give you names of congregations to visit next time you're in Ohio.


There is no more degenerate kind of state than that in which the richest are supposed to be the best.
Cicero, The Republic
[ Parent ]
No, and I'll wager that not one in a thousand by ammoniacal (2.00 / 0) #5 Sun Jun 20, 2010 at 02:12:52 AM EST
of your Ohioan pretenders could tell me his first name with a three-day head start, much less the tenets of his beliefs.

Faux Calvinists to the last man, woman and child.

"To this day that was the most bullshit caesar salad I have every experienced..." - triggerfinger

[ Parent ]
That's a bet you would lose by lm (4.00 / 1) #9 Sun Jun 20, 2010 at 09:53:49 AM EST
Like I said, let me know next time you're in Ohio and I'll give you names of congregations you can visit.

There is no more degenerate kind of state than that in which the richest are supposed to be the best.
Cicero, The Republic
[ Parent ]
Okay. by ammoniacal (2.00 / 0) #10 Sun Jun 20, 2010 at 11:41:46 AM EST
John Calvin's personality cult died off centuries ago, lm. I'll have better luck finding Kali worshippers in Ohio in 2010.

"To this day that was the most bullshit caesar salad I have every experienced..." - triggerfinger

[ Parent ]
You keep telling yourself that by lm (4.00 / 1) #11 Sun Jun 20, 2010 at 12:06:28 PM EST
In the meantime, listen to this sermon and consider visiting this congregation next time you're in Ohio.

And if that particular group is insufficiently Calvinist for you, let me know. Because I know of many more.


There is no more degenerate kind of state than that in which the richest are supposed to be the best.
Cicero, The Republic
[ Parent ]
CTRL-F Calvin by ammoniacal (2.00 / 0) #12 Sun Jun 20, 2010 at 12:56:02 PM EST
Nope, still nothin'.

"To this day that was the most bullshit caesar salad I have every experienced..." - triggerfinger

[ Parent ]
You didn't listen to the sermon, did you? by lm (4.00 / 1) #14 Sun Jun 20, 2010 at 02:15:42 PM EST
[N]o longer [T]rying.

There is no more degenerate kind of state than that in which the richest are supposed to be the best.
Cicero, The Republic
[ Parent ]
I'll have to go to the library for it. by ammoniacal (2.00 / 0) #15 Sun Jun 20, 2010 at 03:17:41 PM EST
[Calvin tautology]

"To this day that was the most bullshit caesar salad I have every experienced..." - triggerfinger

[ Parent ]
I was raised Methodist. by ammoniacal (2.00 / 0) #13 Sun Jun 20, 2010 at 01:43:29 PM EST
I'm out of the church now, but we used to talk about John Wesley in the Methodist church. If you're going to go to the point of naming your church after a man, you should probably discuss the dude in your liturgy.

"To this day that was the most bullshit caesar salad I have every experienced..." - triggerfinger

[ Parent ]
visit grand rapids michigan by gzt (4.00 / 1) #6 Sun Jun 20, 2010 at 08:23:21 AM EST
you will be shocked and amazed.

[ Parent ]
Calvinizing people by ObviousTroll (4.00 / 2) #3 Sat Jun 19, 2010 at 10:15:35 PM EST
I think you need a transmogriphier to do that. 

An Angry and Flatulent Pig, Trying to Tie Balloon Animals
it's amazing, isn't it by gzt (4.00 / 1) #7 Sun Jun 20, 2010 at 08:25:41 AM EST
it's so useless from an existential perspective. i'm going to dig around, david bentley hart, who really isn't the greatest theologian in the world, has some funny takedowns of calvinist thought somewhere that should cure you...

here's one by gzt (4.00 / 1) #8 Sun Jun 20, 2010 at 08:47:25 AM EST
ATTENTION: Orthodox infidels | 15 comments (15 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback