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Diary
By jayhawk88 (Fri Jun 11, 2010 at 04:14:59 PM EST) (all tags)
75% of your HR department is completely and totally redundant.


One person could handle the benefits questions employee performance evaluation needs for, say, 200 people. Another could do the same for necessary training needs and new hire orientation. During October (or whenever open enrollment happens to be), temps could be hired to assist for a month.

The rest are just making busy work for themselves, whether it's "Ice Cream Social Days", "Leadership Awareness Training Guest Speakers", or "Pumpkin Carving Contests".

Seriously, WTF? I don't need work to be fucking Kindergarten.

< annoying parade by office | I'll call you >
Supposition | 23 comments (23 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
Have you read nfb's or gzt's diaries? by marvin (2.00 / 0) #1 Fri Jun 11, 2010 at 04:20:02 PM EST
The number might be higher than 75%.

Have you read the Hitchhiker's Guide by georgeha (2.00 / 0) #3 Fri Jun 11, 2010 at 04:24:51 PM EST
to the Universe? HR, B-ark,it all fits.


[ Parent ]
Nope, only read HHG to the Galaxy by marvin (2.00 / 0) #5 Fri Jun 11, 2010 at 04:49:19 PM EST
Is the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Universe sort of like an extended or upgraded edition?

[ Parent ]
meh by gzt (2.00 / 0) #4 Fri Jun 11, 2010 at 04:36:43 PM EST
Benefits department is probably even smaller than he thinks.

Largest parts of HR: staffing and selection, call center/document processing. The latter is sometimes outsourced.

[ Parent ]
A serious question by barooo (2.00 / 0) #16 Mon Jun 14, 2010 at 11:06:14 AM EST
Why shouldn't the hiring managers be responsible for staffing and selection?  Why should HR be involved at all except maybe to do background checks / eligibility stuff assuming you have such?  And that could be outsourced or temped, how hard is it to fill out some background check forms, perhaps force the new slave to get a drug test, and cross stuff off a checklist like "has proof of degree if required?  YES NO"?

I've always wondered this. 

man, i need a beefy taco now.
-gzt
[ Parent ]
Sourcing, for one. by gzt (2.00 / 0) #17 Mon Jun 14, 2010 at 11:14:26 AM EST
The biggest part is finding people. In most places the managers are responsible for "staffing and selection", as it were, but you really do need quality recruiters to find quality people for the manager to "staff and select". I haven't talked to people in staffing about how many hours it actually is to suss out this stuff, but it takes quite a bit of work to present a hiring manager with a handful of decent candidates that will be worth his time to call up. It's not the manager's job to know where to find people.

[ Parent ]
nor would a hiring manager want it to be. by garlic (2.00 / 0) #19 Mon Jun 14, 2010 at 12:40:58 PM EST
He mostly wants resumes to magically appear on his desk of people that seem like they sorta fit the criteria he wrote down for the job openning. Other than that he wants to be managing his organization.


[ Parent ]
Wait. by technician (2.00 / 0) #2 Fri Jun 11, 2010 at 04:24:37 PM EST
We only have one HR person, so we only need 25 percent of her?

right arm, left buttock = by nathan (4.00 / 1) #6 Fri Jun 11, 2010 at 04:56:48 PM EST


[ Parent ]
I was gonna say the pelvis by ammoniacal (4.00 / 1) #7 Fri Jun 11, 2010 at 05:25:50 PM EST
but on second thought, I'll need pix.

"To this day that was the most bullshit caesar salad I have every experienced..." - triggerfinger

[ Parent ]
We only have one part time person by lm (4.00 / 1) #8 Fri Jun 11, 2010 at 05:53:53 PM EST
And she doubles as accounting.

There is no more degenerate kind of state than that in which the richest are supposed to be the best.
Cicero, The Republic
[ Parent ]
When you stop by yankeehack (4.00 / 1) #9 Fri Jun 11, 2010 at 07:54:05 PM EST
doing shots with your HR person at work during work hours, that is when the fun ends.
"...she dares to indulge in the secret sport. You can't be a MILF with the F, at least in part because the M is predicated upon it."-CBB
HR = Human Remains by Breaker (4.00 / 1) #10 Sat Jun 12, 2010 at 04:49:20 AM EST
I've known people who wanted to be doctors, electricians, traindrivers, lawyers, explorers, boxers, vets, pilots, ambulance drivers and so on when they were a kid.

Never met anyone who wanted to be in HR when they were small.

So, HR is where they corral the useless, the stupid and the lazy.  Unfortunately, they also empower this department with some unwarranted powers.


indeed by LilFlightTest (2.00 / 0) #11 Sat Jun 12, 2010 at 11:57:09 AM EST
i just discovered that they screwed up things related to my health insurance again. I never thought it'd be so hard to get a newborn on a plan. now i have to call them one more time to tell them they're fuckwits.
---------
if de-virgination results in me being able to birth hammerhead sharks, SIGN ME UP!!! --misslake
[ Parent ]
Best of luck by Breaker (2.00 / 0) #13 Sun Jun 13, 2010 at 05:01:53 AM EST
Although perhaps you should make your "you're a fuckwit" call on a daily basis; HR need repetition to drive these things in.


[ Parent ]
the most baffling by LilFlightTest (2.00 / 0) #14 Sun Jun 13, 2010 at 07:32:07 AM EST
is that we have a whole branch of HR dedicated to nothing but benefits. they don't do any hiring, none of the other stuff. only benefits. yet they can't manage to put my family on the right plan, or pay attention when i call them to update my kid's info.
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if de-virgination results in me being able to birth hammerhead sharks, SIGN ME UP!!! --misslake
[ Parent ]
They'll probably by Breaker (2.00 / 0) #15 Sun Jun 13, 2010 at 09:56:26 AM EST
Need to hire another HR staffer to writre procedures for them...


[ Parent ]
to be fair by gzt (2.00 / 0) #20 Mon Jun 14, 2010 at 12:53:21 PM EST
Are you sure it's not on the insurer's end? Or at least a problem of coordination between them that is not completely their fault?

[ Parent ]
if it's the insurer's end by LilFlightTest (2.00 / 0) #22 Mon Jun 14, 2010 at 04:02:54 PM EST
then i don't think the benefits people would send me a letter saying "we reviewed our files and we're missing some info". When i called them the first time to give them the boy's info, they also claimed they were missing some info on my husband that i know they have...
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if de-virgination results in me being able to birth hammerhead sharks, SIGN ME UP!!! --misslake
[ Parent ]
Can you confirm it's your newborn? by georgeha (2.00 / 0) #21 Mon Jun 14, 2010 at 01:36:10 PM EST
and not a very small illegal alien?


[ Parent ]
you caught me by LilFlightTest (2.00 / 0) #23 Mon Jun 14, 2010 at 04:05:27 PM EST
I smuggled him in my uterus.
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if de-virgination results in me being able to birth hammerhead sharks, SIGN ME UP!!! --misslake
[ Parent ]
that's funny by dev trash (2.00 / 0) #12 Sat Jun 12, 2010 at 08:25:16 PM EST
Out HR is just two people.  More than 200 employees and no temps during open enrollment because we don't have open enrollment.

--
Click
HR by duxup (2.00 / 0) #18 Mon Jun 14, 2010 at 11:33:58 AM EST
I loath HR departments.  They have yet to do much for me except get in between me and my benefits, or stuff our department needs to get done, and hork things up in the process.

Oh and benefits questions?  We're sent to go ask some other company that manages them for us.... wtf are those people for?

Oh wait I know, loose my personal data that was on their laptop twice in two years .... why my personal data needs to go home with them is beyond me, they can't help me with anything related to it anyway.


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Supposition | 23 comments (23 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback