Print Story Where's my kitchen trebuchet?
Diary
By ana (Wed Jun 09, 2010 at 08:42:55 PM EST) injury, trebuchet (all tags)
Well, damn.


It happened again. Once is an accident. For the second, I have to plead insanity.

This time it's my left tyhumb, so i'm not all that typing-impaired. Still, no backspaces.

It would be soooo satisfying to fling something up against the wall. Like maybe the rest of the cucumber I was trying to slice. Or, y'know, my fist or something.

I think I got a slightly bigger chunk than last time; it bled like a... something that bleeds a lot. Fortunately toxicfur interrupted her cooking (chicken saltimbocca, yum), and hre phone call with her brother P (the one with the kid who was literally born yesterday) to wrap a couple bandais around my thumb. Which I managed to bleed through, so she replaced with gauze and another bandaid. Bleeding's stopped, so it's prolly allgood.

Sihg. :-(

< Meditation | on some things >
Where's my kitchen trebuchet? | 27 comments (27 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
*sigh* by toxicfur (2.00 / 0) #1 Wed Jun 09, 2010 at 08:49:32 PM EST
I do wish you wouldn't hurt yourself. I'm doing my best to refrain from reminding you of the times I've warned you that you were doing stuff that would hurt you (like sawing a tree limb, or using the mandoline without the guard) because well....
--
The amount of suck that you can put up with can be mind-boggling, but it only really hits you when it then ceases to suck. -- Kellnerin
Somehow I had by johnny (2.00 / 0) #12 Wed Jun 09, 2010 at 11:45:14 PM EST
missed that entry.

You baseball player you.

I trust you know that that is an equivalent encomium to "rock star."

She has effectively checked out. She's an un-person of her own making. So it falls to me.--ad hoc (in the hole)

[ Parent ]
hrm. by clock (4.00 / 1) #2 Wed Jun 09, 2010 at 09:39:55 PM EST
time to get one of those chain mail gloves like they have at Arby's for when they run the slicer.  mostly so you can look silly and remind yourself not to do something dumb.  like...well...that.


I agree with clock entirely --Kellnerin

Two. by ana (4.00 / 1) #3 Wed Jun 09, 2010 at 09:43:07 PM EST
Last time it was the right index finger, iirc.

"And this ... is a piece of Synergy." --Kellnerin

[ Parent ]
sigh. by clock (4.00 / 1) #4 Wed Jun 09, 2010 at 09:59:33 PM EST
a good point.  at the very least, be sure to keep your blades sharp.


I agree with clock entirely --Kellnerin

[ Parent ]
^THIS by ammoniacal (2.00 / 0) #5 Wed Jun 09, 2010 at 10:12:42 PM EST
Have you sharpened your knives since last time?

Curl your fingertips so the flat of your fingernails are resting against the item, not the pads of your fingers and thumb. Maintain contact between the side of the blade and the backside of your middle phalanges as you slice.

"To this day that was the most bullshit caesar salad I have every experienced..." - triggerfinger

[ Parent ]
'Twas a mandoline by toxicfur (2.00 / 0) #6 Wed Jun 09, 2010 at 10:18:15 PM EST
And yes, the blade is very sharp. And yes, I keep the blades of the knives sharp as well. The problem tonight occurred because ana was using the mandoline without the finger guard to slice the cucumber. That's what happened last time, too, except it was a carrot and not a cucumber.
--
The amount of suck that you can put up with can be mind-boggling, but it only really hits you when it then ceases to suck. -- Kellnerin
[ Parent ]
I had no idea by Captain Tenille (2.00 / 0) #7 Wed Jun 09, 2010 at 10:52:18 PM EST
that mandolins could be so *dangerous*. 

---------

/* You are not expected to understand this. */


[ Parent ]
Honestly, by ni (2.00 / 0) #8 Wed Jun 09, 2010 at 11:01:06 PM EST
the finger guards really suck. They're frustrating as hell to use, and always just resulted in half-mangled sections of potato for me. (Even when I was cutting carrots!)

That's a device that really needs some rethinking. I was at the hardware store a few days ago and discovered that someone has, in fact, built a better mouse-trap. Someone needs to build a better mandoline.


"These days it seems like sometimes dreams of Italian hyper-gonadism are all a man's got to keep him going." -- CRwM

[ Parent ]
wow by LilFlightTest (2.00 / 0) #9 Wed Jun 09, 2010 at 11:09:24 PM EST
it went out and found a potato to mangle? that's dedication, right there.
---------
if de-virgination results in me being able to birth hammerhead sharks, SIGN ME UP!!! --misslake
[ Parent ]
Uh. Well. This is sort of awkward, by ni (2.00 / 0) #10 Wed Jun 09, 2010 at 11:19:20 PM EST
but "potato" was sort of a euphemism.

Uh. The less said about this the better.


"These days it seems like sometimes dreams of Italian hyper-gonadism are all a man's got to keep him going." -- CRwM

[ Parent ]
good god man by LilFlightTest (4.00 / 2) #11 Wed Jun 09, 2010 at 11:28:22 PM EST
keep that away from blades.
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if de-virgination results in me being able to birth hammerhead sharks, SIGN ME UP!!! --misslake
[ Parent ]
But then, by mrgoat (2.00 / 0) #17 Thu Jun 10, 2010 at 09:28:48 AM EST
How will I re-enact Tetsuo?

--top hat--
[ Parent ]
elaborate special effects by LilFlightTest (2.00 / 0) #18 Thu Jun 10, 2010 at 09:55:35 AM EST
or interpretive dance.
---------
if de-virgination results in me being able to birth hammerhead sharks, SIGN ME UP!!! --misslake
[ Parent ]
I am now imagining: by mrgoat (2.00 / 0) #19 Thu Jun 10, 2010 at 10:13:34 AM EST
Tetsuo: The Musical!

The synchronized drill-penis dance in the second act is going to be killer. Literally.

--top hat--

[ Parent ]
let's apologise to ana by LilFlightTest (4.00 / 1) #21 Thu Jun 10, 2010 at 11:24:16 AM EST
for doing disturbing things to his diary.
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if de-virgination results in me being able to birth hammerhead sharks, SIGN ME UP!!! --misslake
[ Parent ]
Agreed. by mrgoat (4.00 / 1) #22 Thu Jun 10, 2010 at 11:33:02 AM EST
This did turn into a weird sort of drive-by disturbomatron.

Sorry, ana!

--top hat--

[ Parent ]
what type of mandoline? by yankeehack (2.00 / 0) #14 Thu Jun 10, 2010 at 08:31:05 AM EST
some are better than others.

Back when I selling kitchen stuff online, the OXO Mandoline was the best selling (and least likely to inflict injury...)

http://www.google.com/products?hl=en&q=oxo+mandoline&um=1&ie=UTF-8&ei=69oQTLfGJ8GAlAfv_6WBCA&sa=X&oi=product_result_group&ct=title&resnum=1&ved=0CEEQrQQwAA
"...she dares to indulge in the secret sport. You can't be a MILF with the F, at least in part because the M is predicated upon it."-CBB

[ Parent ]
OXO. by toxicfur (2.00 / 0) #16 Thu Jun 10, 2010 at 09:06:12 AM EST
Pretty sure ours is OXO, but this one. The finger guard (as has been pointed out earlier) really is a pain in the ass, and not particularly useful.
--
The amount of suck that you can put up with can be mind-boggling, but it only really hits you when it then ceases to suck. -- Kellnerin
[ Parent ]
Ah by yankeehack (2.00 / 0) #20 Thu Jun 10, 2010 at 10:54:35 AM EST
That seem to jibe with the fact that I was told the OXO Mandoline with the stand (or legs) was easier to use than the handheld one.
"...she dares to indulge in the secret sport. You can't be a MILF with the F, at least in part because the M is predicated upon it."-CBB
[ Parent ]
(Comment Deleted) by xth (4.00 / 1) #13 Thu Jun 10, 2010 at 05:10:46 AM EST

This comment has been deleted by xth



(Comment Deleted) by xth (4.00 / 1) #23 Thu Jun 10, 2010 at 12:02:30 PM EST

This comment has been deleted by xth



[ Parent ]
Y'know, cutting yourself is just by wiredog (4.00 / 1) #15 Thu Jun 10, 2010 at 09:05:39 AM EST
the wrong way to attract attention. Buy a Ducati and all the bright red leather that goes along with it instead.

Earth First!
(We can strip mine the rest later.)

Even just the possibility of blood by muchagecko (4.00 / 1) #24 Thu Jun 10, 2010 at 12:10:13 PM EST
and I'm not reading your diary.

I hope you recover soon.


A purpose gives you a reason to wake up every morning.
So a purpose is like a box of powdered donut holes?
Exactly
My Name is Earl

I went through a phase of doing this by ObviousTroll (2.00 / 0) #25 Thu Jun 10, 2010 at 12:43:47 PM EST
Where the "phase" lasted 5-6 years. About once a month I'd slice off the tip of my thumb because I thought I could chop veggies like a TV chef. 

Eventually I realized I wasn't on TV and I didn't have to rush to chop the veggies. 

An Angry and Flatulent Pig, Trying to Tie Balloon Animals
Every day by ana (4.00 / 1) #26 Thu Jun 10, 2010 at 12:46:45 PM EST
while I'm feeding the cats, I explain the advantages of having opposable thumbs. They listen patiently until the food is in the bowl and the bowl is on the floor in front of them. Then they go back to doing their cat things.

One opposable thumb is not enough, I'm finding. Hold out for two.

"And this ... is a piece of Synergy." --Kellnerin

[ Parent ]
You don't have two thumbs? by lm (2.00 / 0) #27 Fri Jun 11, 2010 at 06:36:08 PM EST
Odd. Can I call you Ana the 9 fingered?

There is no more degenerate kind of state than that in which the richest are supposed to be the best.
Cicero, The Republic
[ Parent ]
Where's my kitchen trebuchet? | 27 comments (27 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback