Print Story A Day in the Life -- Norms
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By ReallyEvilCanine (Wed Apr 28, 2010 at 07:37:19 AM EST) bell curve (all tags)
Norms

"Joe, that is one butt-ugly car you got!"
"It's an Audi!"
"Joe, it's an orange-yellow Audi."
"Yeah, well... what are you gonna do?"
"Your wife made you get that colour?"
"Aw, hells no! She's still pissed off at me because she wanted metallic charcoal. Truth be told, so did I."
"But you got it in orange-yellow because... why?"

Poll: Keyboards
x-posted to da brog.



"There are five charcoal-coloured cars on this street already!"
"And that's a reason to get that butt-ugly colour because...?"
"Well, we need a normal distribution."
Hummina-hummina-hummina
"There are a lot more red, black and blue cars than will fit to a standard bell curve here in our neighbourhood. We have some green and purple and white cars but no one has yellow or orange and so I had to get that in order to at least get closer to normalising the colour distribution."

   - -

Is it possible there is anything more uninformed, miseducated and unrealistic than an MBA? A bell curve is a description not a target. Demanding that 12.5% of my tickets (not 10% and not 15%) be turned into Knowledge Base Items is nonsensical. The number comes from a six-month window when there were half as many of us here and we had just completely changed the entire software architecture. We were therefore publishing a lot. About 12.5% of all new tickets as it turns out.

But if I publish 12.5% and each and every one of my cow-orkers also publishes 12.5% of our tickets $PeterPrincipleManager will have numbers matching a 7-year-old cherry-picked and completely meaningless curve no matter how fine-grained his sample might be.

Five seconds ago I remembered the only reason I'm still willing to put up with this shit: I looked over at the Puppy. She's currently trying to eat her toenails and doesn't understand why the foam letter floor tiles don't melt in her mouth the way that the cream of broccoli pasta does. I'd be even happier about this but she's making a particular noise which lets me know I have even more shit to deal with.

What I think sucks most of all is that I still have 14 more tickets to deal with today and any noise BadPuppy makes will be about 183 times as sensible as whatever the fuckwits want from me now. "We have a new guy in the server room and he wants to know why Apple ][ Aliens won't run on the 64-way Xeon cluster."

< I had a dream 2010 04 27 | Attention to Detail >
A Day in the Life -- Norms | 17 comments (17 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
Car colours by anonimouse (2.00 / 0) #1 Wed Apr 28, 2010 at 08:12:36 AM EST
Ferraris should be red, Audis should be silver, only Lotuses should be bright yellow (British Racing Green is also acceptable)


Girls come and go but a mortgage is for 25 years -- JtL
Last weekend I saw a horrid green Lamborghini by wiredog (2.00 / 0) #4 Wed Apr 28, 2010 at 08:16:34 AM EST
I'm pretty sure Horrid Green is the actual name of the color.

Earth First!
(We can strip mine the rest later.)

[ Parent ]
Caterham 7 [nt] by gazbo (2.00 / 0) #5 Wed Apr 28, 2010 at 08:17:48 AM EST


I recommend always assuming 7th normal form where items in a text column are not allowed to rhyme.

[ Parent ]
Lambos by jump the ladder (2.00 / 0) #6 Wed Apr 28, 2010 at 08:25:03 AM EST
Look good in day-glo yellow.

[ Parent ]
Apple ][ Aliens by anonimouse (2.00 / 0) #2 Wed Apr 28, 2010 at 08:14:27 AM EST
If you give me this ticket, I'll suggest some Apple ][ simulators to him....


Girls come and go but a mortgage is for 25 years -- JtL
Apple ][ Aliens won't run on the 64-way Xeon by wiredog (2.00 / 0) #3 Wed Apr 28, 2010 at 08:14:55 AM EST
Well, yeah, you need to install VMWare on it first.

Earth First!
(We can strip mine the rest later.)

Keyboards by anonimouse (2.00 / 0) #7 Wed Apr 28, 2010 at 08:33:43 AM EST
My personal favourite keyboard is the one that came with my 486DX33 and which is the only part of that PC that has survived 19 years....

I can't find the "Windows" keys on it though....


Girls come and go but a mortgage is for 25 years -- JtL
dunno what an M5 is by clover kicker (2.00 / 0) #8 Wed Apr 28, 2010 at 08:59:42 AM EST
But I do love my IBM model M keyboards.

I have a couple of spares, in case this one (manufactured March 1986) ever dies.

Every time I spec a new PC, I'm pleasantly surprised to see that you can still buy mobos with PS/2 ports.

My wife got me one for my birthday. by ReallyEvilCanine (2.00 / 0) #9 Wed Apr 28, 2010 at 09:22:55 AM EST
She's that awesome. German layout (but no Windows key), but she was a bit too SMRT and got the non-clicky one. Fucker weighs a ton, has great feel-feedback, but sadly no clicky noise.

the internet: amplifier of stupidity -- discordia

[ Parent ]
new Unicomp or vintage ebay? by clover kicker (2.00 / 0) #10 Wed Apr 28, 2010 at 09:42:24 AM EST
Unicomp has a model with integrated nipple mouse which tempts me a LOT.

[ Parent ]
Vintage by ReallyEvilCanine (2.00 / 0) #11 Wed Apr 28, 2010 at 10:06:01 AM EST
Few things other than perfect tea and toast please my wife more than laughing at my age and then buying shit even older than me.

the internet: amplifier of stupidity -- discordia

[ Parent ]
Microsoft Natural keyboard by gpig (2.00 / 0) #12 Wed Apr 28, 2010 at 11:11:19 AM EST
About three months in to my first real programming job, I started to feel some pain in my wrists. I ordered one of these:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:MS_Natural_Keyboard_Pro.JPG

The pain stopped, and I've kept it ever since, about 10 years. (I've not had any typing related problems during that time). It's the only Microsoft product I've ever actually enjoyed using*, and it's certainly more reliable than many of their other offerings.

* Actually not true -- I had some fun writing games in QBASIC at school when I was little.
---
(,   ,') -- eep

natural keyboards make my hands hurt by infinitera (2.00 / 0) #13 Wed Apr 28, 2010 at 11:37:16 AM EST
But I do enjoy using several Microsoft products:

SideWinder X4
PowerShell

The latter has been really fun for my day-to-day analysis and scripting needs.

[…] a professional layabout. Which I aspire to be, but am not yet. — CheeseburgerBrown

[ Parent ]
Original Dell QuietKey by notafurry (2.00 / 0) #14 Wed Apr 28, 2010 at 02:33:34 PM EST
It's the only way to fly (without waking up the whole house.) The old ones, beige with purple PS/2 connectors. I have three. Feels to me as good as the old M5 even without the clacking noise.

And the best part is, they work with USB/PS/2 dongles.

I do like my old Happy Hacker chiclet keyboard, though. It fits in a laptop bag, weighs less than a pound, and has a pretty good feel for a chiclet. It also fits neatly in a rack on top of a server - most of the racks I have to deal with don't have built-in keyboard trays and the like.

re: Metallic Charcoal by ammoniacal (4.00 / 1) #15 Wed Apr 28, 2010 at 04:17:19 PM EST
When I am World Dictator, anyone who owns a car painted in a shade resembling aged asphalt will be paying a fucking huge insurance premium. Morans.

"To this day that was the most bullshit caesar salad I have every experienced..." - triggerfinger

WIPO by houser2112 (2.00 / 0) #16 Thu Apr 29, 2010 at 08:49:11 AM EST
Compaq Presario keyboards are my favorite.  Unfortunately, I've exhausted my (and my father's) supply of such.

MS Natural 4000 by duxup (2.00 / 0) #17 Thu Apr 29, 2010 at 01:26:17 PM EST
I use an MS natural (I think the word ergonomic is in there somewhere) 4000 model at home and work.  I like it a great deal.

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A Day in the Life -- Norms | 17 comments (17 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback