Print Story A Day in the Life
Working life
By ReallyEvilCanine (Wed Mar 31, 2010 at 09:27:42 AM EST) puppies, email (all tags)
Helping Papa

The BadPuppy isn't even a year old and already wants to help Daddy with work. Not only is Puppy not even fazed anymore when Daddy's head repeatedly fills the new REC's-head-shaped-dent in front of the keyboard in the home office, she howls and yelps in unison with him, demanding to sit on his lap and help.

Today I let her help me write an answer template for mail I too often have to send.

Poll: Girl Scout Cookies
x-posted to da brog.




Dear __________,

Your response makes less sense than an unemployed art history major protesting cheap instant ramen. Considering the current economic situation it's really unfair that someone like you has a job like this when there are so many qualified and capable people out there still unemployed.

If you ask a question, you have acknowledged that the person who is answering it knows more than you. That means you don't argue with the answer before even trying it, following the instructions you were given exactly.

You are a fuckwit and this ticket is closed for "Customer Refusal".

Love,
My daddy.


OK, I translated it for her since she's still working on her first yips and barks. What she actually bashed out (before drooling like a bull mastiff all over the space bar sending me into an enforced work time-out) was
iadsdsaklöl ä#
#
#

ö

sdaae21d21-l
ö

dwqe12e21,m,mmlölöqdwmkl

<xx<<lppü+<

+
+
+üö

#
ö#
löö

lklm
lkmxqdwl
ömdqwl,m,mnmn


That's still a few orders of magnitude more intelligent and congruent than most of the shit that appears in my Inbox. They grow up so quickly.
< Treading on other peoples toes | I love riding this time of year. >
A Day in the Life | 16 comments (16 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
Thin Mints are the crack cocaine by wiredog (4.00 / 1) #1 Wed Mar 31, 2010 at 09:40:21 AM EST
of the cookie world. Except they taste much better than crack.

Earth First!
(We can strip mine the rest later.)

OHMYGOD by gazbo (4.00 / 3) #2 Wed Mar 31, 2010 at 09:42:28 AM EST
"löl".

löllöllöllöllöllöllöllöllöl

AMAZING.  Why have I never come across this before?

It's like LOL++.  A LOL with eyes and a big shouty mouth.  And you know what it's shouting?  That's right: "LOL"

I'm going to use this so much.

lölLöLlöl


I recommend always assuming 7th normal form where items in a text column are not allowed to rhyme.

And a small child shall lead them... by ReallyEvilCanine (2.00 / 0) #3 Wed Mar 31, 2010 at 09:48:01 AM EST
BadPuppy was bashing away merrily. The middle row of my keyboard is asdfghjklöä#<CR> -- the keys just happen to be next to each other.

the internet: amplifier of stupidity -- discordia

[ Parent ]
bashing away merrily. by wiredog (2.00 / 0) #11 Wed Mar 31, 2010 at 11:49:18 AM EST
Preparing to make a BP shaped dent in the desk like the REC shaped one?

Earth First!
(We can strip mine the rest later.)

[ Parent ]
Ladies and gentlemen by Breaker (4.00 / 3) #5 Wed Mar 31, 2010 at 10:09:25 AM EST
I give you the Überlöl.

The sous lól, and the Chinese lôl.


[ Parent ]
Damn by ucblockhead (2.00 / 0) #13 Wed Mar 31, 2010 at 12:13:24 PM EST
Now I just need something to laugh at!
---
[ucblockhead is] useless and subhuman
[ Parent ]
You missed the shortbread cookies by MartiniPhilosopher (4.00 / 1) #4 Wed Mar 31, 2010 at 10:04:31 AM EST
Great for dipping in chocolate or turning into crumbs for cheesecakes.

Whenever I hear one of those aforementioned douche bags pontificate about how dangerous [...] videogames are I get a little stabby. --Wil Wheaton.

living in the commie deutcheland by sasquatchan (2.00 / 0) #6 Wed Mar 31, 2010 at 10:34:37 AM EST
you're probably unawares of all the NEW girlscout cookie flavors. There's some "berry" one out with cranberries in it (not that good) and others..

Interesting. by sugar spun (2.00 / 0) #7 Wed Mar 31, 2010 at 10:36:21 AM EST
Perhaps a care package from somewhere is in order. Nomnomnom.

[ Parent ]
doh by sasquatchan (4.00 / 1) #8 Wed Mar 31, 2010 at 11:09:57 AM EST
I think our deliveries were about 5 weeks ago, and I haven't seem them selling extras outside stores, so odds are it'll be until next year.

[ Parent ]
Shit. by sugar spun (2.00 / 0) #12 Wed Mar 31, 2010 at 11:52:07 AM EST
I may have to do some investigating. I am now desperate for Thin Mints.

[ Parent ]
No problem by wiredog (2.00 / 0) #14 Wed Mar 31, 2010 at 12:18:24 PM EST
They're available at Wal-Mart, the Destroyer of Towns.

Earth First!
(We can strip mine the rest later.)

[ Parent ]
AWESOME by sugar spun (4.00 / 2) #15 Wed Mar 31, 2010 at 12:22:56 PM EST
Oppression has never been so tasty.

[ Parent ]
I wish I had customer refusal code.. by infinitera (2.00 / 0) #9 Wed Mar 31, 2010 at 11:12:40 AM EST
I can close with lack of info/response, but not refusal - have to either provide other workarounds or get management involved.

I've got a case right now that has this very problem. Resolution provided 2 weeks ago. But I keep spending time on it.

[…] a professional layabout. Which I aspire to be, but am not yet. — CheeseburgerBrown

They have to outright refuse by ReallyEvilCanine (2.00 / 0) #10 Wed Mar 31, 2010 at 11:32:50 AM EST
Until they clearly demonstrate an utter refusal to implement a solution I'm stuck with 'em.

the internet: amplifier of stupidity -- discordia

[ Parent ]
(Comment Deleted) by xth (2.00 / 0) #16 Wed Mar 31, 2010 at 02:54:39 PM EST

This comment has been deleted by xth



A Day in the Life | 16 comments (16 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback