Print Story My wife won't be around tonight.
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By gzt (Fri Mar 19, 2010 at 01:51:50 PM EST) gzt, piercings, makeup (all tags)
She'll be in the suburbs or something. I might cry. And expel multicolored phlegm from my lungs. The latter aspect of my evening is unrelated, it would happen no matter what.

INSIDE: piercings.



Teh wife is also thinking about composting. Either a worm bin or some Japanese thing, bukkake or something. Whatever it is, it has to work indoors for somebody who has no garden.

I hear a baby in the office. Be right back. Woo babies.

Update: not a baby, just a small kid.

I was watching myself in the windows as I was walking to lunch (I ran into barooo, incidentally) and noticed two things: I really need a haircut and I'm walking with a very slight limp. Maybe I should get that calf looked at, because it's not really healing on its own. Something peroneal. Looking at what can cause acute injury to the peroneal tendons, this is one of them: "powerful contraction of the peroneal muscles with a forcefully dorsiflexed foot". Sounds like improperly bouncing out of the bottom of a front squat to me.

A question brought about by a holiary: Why do some women erroneously think that lip or other non-standard piercings are cool or hot? They are neither.

Of course, this comes from somebody who thinks most women look perfectly adequate without any sort of makeup, and, yes, the author really does know what that would look like (really). The author also knows they're not doing it for him, so they can do whatever they want.

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My wife won't be around tonight. | 20 comments (20 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
Cheek piercings. by wiredog (2.00 / 0) #1 Fri Mar 19, 2010 at 02:07:26 PM EST
Why?

If you had been looking where you were walking instead of in the windows you wouldn't've run into baroo. Was he injured?

Earth First!
(We can strip mine the rest later.)

that just sounds like a bad idea. by gzt (4.00 / 1) #4 Fri Mar 19, 2010 at 02:30:02 PM EST
very bad.

he's been gaining weight lately, so he can hold his own.

[ Parent ]
Because they are hot as fuck. by ni (4.00 / 1) #6 Fri Mar 19, 2010 at 03:28:07 PM EST
Have you ever seen a pretty girl with a cheek piercing? If they do not make your heart go "pitter-patter" you're not human.


"These days it seems like sometimes dreams of Italian hyper-gonadism are all a man's got to keep him going." -- CRwM
[ Parent ]
Not Human by marvin (2.00 / 0) #7 Fri Mar 19, 2010 at 03:47:30 PM EST
I can live with that tag. Blech.

[ Parent ]
what? by gzt (2.00 / 0) #9 Fri Mar 19, 2010 at 03:49:41 PM EST
it's a free country, but you're silly.

[ Parent ]
More for me! /nt by ni (4.00 / 3) #10 Fri Mar 19, 2010 at 03:50:12 PM EST



"These days it seems like sometimes dreams of Italian hyper-gonadism are all a man's got to keep him going." -- CRwM
[ Parent ]
Pretty girls make my heart go pitter patter by anonimouse (4.00 / 1) #12 Fri Mar 19, 2010 at 05:50:40 PM EST
..but piercings reduce that to just "pitter".


Girls come and go but a mortgage is for 25 years -- JtL
[ Parent ]
I don't want to see by ammoniacal (2.00 / 0) #14 Fri Mar 19, 2010 at 06:02:00 PM EST
my date's drink shoot out of the side of her face, that's why.

"To this day that was the most bullshit caesar salad I have every experienced..." - triggerfinger

[ Parent ]
She'll never be able by ad hoc (4.00 / 1) #16 Fri Mar 19, 2010 at 06:30:35 PM EST
to blow up a balloon.
--
[ Parent ]
Nor hold her breath when I flatulate. by ammoniacal (2.00 / 0) #17 Fri Mar 19, 2010 at 10:34:23 PM EST

"To this day that was the most bullshit caesar salad I have every experienced..." - triggerfinger

[ Parent ]
My chipotle burrito and I by barooo (2.00 / 0) #2 Fri Mar 19, 2010 at 02:22:30 PM EST
were in awe of your manbeard.  Intentional, or waiting on the new razor?  I shave about once a week and by the next shaving day it almost looks like a beard.


man, i need a beefy taco now.
-gzt
a little of both. by gzt (2.00 / 0) #3 Fri Mar 19, 2010 at 02:27:35 PM EST
crap, i should've had a chipotle burrito instead of the seafood special at popeye's. i keep making lame food choices.

[ Parent ]
Piercings by riceowlguy (4.00 / 1) #5 Fri Mar 19, 2010 at 03:10:41 PM EST
They must be some kind of outward sign of an inward gracewildness.  Kind of like "if she smokes, she pokes".  Or tramp stamps.

So, they are not in and of themselves hot, but what they imply is.  Maybe.

Or a sign of self-destructiveness by marvin (2.00 / 0) #8 Fri Mar 19, 2010 at 03:49:33 PM EST
If she's willing to disfigure herself now for no sensible or rational reason, maybe she'll graduate to cutting herself after you start dating!!!

[ Parent ]
Of the people who I know to cut by ambrosen (4.00 / 1) #11 Fri Mar 19, 2010 at 05:04:48 PM EST
I can't think of any with visible piercings. Apart from earlobes, which don't really count, do they?

[ Parent ]
Compost by ucblockhead (2.00 / 0) #13 Fri Mar 19, 2010 at 05:57:23 PM EST
I don't think it would go well without yard waste...
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[ucblockhead is] useless and subhuman
My grandpa used to raise nightcrawlers. by ammoniacal (2.00 / 0) #15 Fri Mar 19, 2010 at 06:04:33 PM EST
Dude, you don't want that scent in your abode.

"To this day that was the most bullshit caesar salad I have every experienced..." - triggerfinger

Nothing says 'skank' like a stud in the nose. by chuckles (4.00 / 1) #18 Sat Mar 20, 2010 at 02:33:56 AM EST
A nose-ring is half a step above that, but still distasteful.

"The one absolutely certain way of bringing this nation to ruin [...] would be to permit it to become a tangle of squabbling nationalities"
Worm farm by technician (2.00 / 0) #19 Sun Mar 21, 2010 at 07:37:20 PM EST
We had an infestation of fruit flies due to our worm farm. Now that the worms have settled in and started eating and reproducing, it's not bad, but be prepared for odd things like that.

Piercings by me0w (4.00 / 1) #20 Mon Mar 22, 2010 at 08:41:24 AM EST
I didn't get any of my 14 piercings because I thought they were "hot as fuck" or "cool". It was about my curiosity, how I wanted to alter my body, etc. If others don't like them ... really don't give a squirrel's left testicle.


"the only reason we PMS is because our uterus is screaming at our brain to go out, get fucked, and have a baby ... and it makes us angry."

My wife won't be around tonight. | 20 comments (20 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback