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Diary
By Sapphire (Wed Feb 10, 2010 at 07:33:46 PM EST) (all tags)

It has been brought to my attention that I don't give enough information in my diary entries. 



I imagine it is an insecurity of mine.  I've shared too much at time and have been subjected to the wrath of some husiites.  Of course, that particular subject was pretty touchy.  It was a bitch entry regarding my old job.  I'm so glad I've gotten out of that industry. 

I wrote in my youth.  Poetry, lyrics and short stories that I never had the courage to show anyone.  I never thought my writings were good enough.  I started keeping a journal of sorts since I was a junior in high school when my English teacher had us write ten pages a week.  At first, I thought it was a waste of time.  I didn't think my life was interesting enough to write about.  Soon after, I realized it was a great way to vent and get my anger and disappointment in my life out of my system without actually talking to anyone.  I had tried sharing my life with my mother. Unfortunately, she never showed interest in anything I had to say unless it was something  she wanted to hear.  My subject matter was too deep for her mind and emotional state.  Anyway, I would write my deepest darkest secrets, emotional successes and shortfalls.  I wrote about love and heartbreak.  I wrote about happiness and sadness.  Looking back, I see more sadness than anything. 

I was a pretty sad kid.  Being brought up involved in a Pentecostal (Cult) Church was pretty difficult for a kids who asked the question, "Why?"  I was often reprimanded and beaten for asking any questions.  I was taught to have faith and follow what I've been told.  It is no wonder there is such abuse in these churches!  Writing was my escape.  I would sit in the middle of a sermon and be writing away in my notebook.  Most everyone around me assumed I was taking notes.  I don't think I listened to a single sermon from the age of 15 or 16.  There was nothing being said that I wanted to hear.

I stopped writing for awhile when I got married.  I didn't think that things were going that bad at first.  After a time, I began writing again because my marriage was failing as well.  I still can't believe that I stayed in that relationship as long as I did.   I wrote about my woes in that relationship. I've kept various online journals for years.  The most entries in an online diary that is now defunct.  I thought to download and delete that diary...by happenstance, it was mere weeks before the website went under.  I got really lucky.  I'm glad I was able to keep my 500 plus entries. 

I'm glad that I continued writing. It has given me solace at times and a memory of events at others. 
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Not Quite Enough | 9 comments (9 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
Cult? by ammoniacal (2.00 / 0) #1 Wed Feb 10, 2010 at 09:58:40 PM EST
That's pretty mainstream for a "cult", don't you think?

"To this day that was the most bullshit caesar salad I have every experienced..." - triggerfinger

there are a lot of strands of pentecostalism by gzt (2.00 / 0) #2 Wed Feb 10, 2010 at 10:23:15 PM EST
A lot.

[ Parent ]
Yes. by Sapphire (2.00 / 0) #3 Thu Feb 11, 2010 at 07:04:46 AM EST
I meant "Cult."  The Church I was involved in wasn't at all mainstream. 

[ Parent ]
You're fired from Husi! by duxup (2.00 / 0) #4 Thu Feb 11, 2010 at 11:01:27 AM EST
n/t

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Should I not be laughing? by Sapphire (4.00 / 1) #5 Thu Feb 11, 2010 at 09:26:17 PM EST
 

[ Parent ]
It is ok to laugh by duxup (4.00 / 1) #6 Fri Feb 12, 2010 at 09:34:06 AM EST
I don't know if anyone has been fired from Husi.

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[ Parent ]
Oh, we fired one guy once. by mrgoat (4.00 / 3) #7 Fri Feb 12, 2010 at 01:19:06 PM EST
Real ugly situation; he tried to fill his pockets with '4's. Had to have security escort him out - and he still punched at all the little 'expand thread' icons, all the way out to the parking lot.

--top hat--
[ Parent ]
Oh my by duxup (4.00 / 1) #8 Fri Feb 12, 2010 at 01:38:00 PM EST
I hope you gave him the "don't tase me bro" treatment.

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[ Parent ]
Still laughing! by Sapphire (2.00 / 0) #9 Fri Feb 12, 2010 at 06:30:27 PM EST


[ Parent ]
Not Quite Enough | 9 comments (9 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback