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Diary
By Driusan (Tue Dec 21, 2010 at 06:58:28 PM EST) (all tags)
I've devised a simple, efficient way to minimize the number of stupid requests we need to put up with on a day to day basis.

Like all good things, it begins with whiskey.



First, bring a nice bottle of whiskey in to your office and put it on your desk. Make it widely known that the bottle will not be touched under any circumstances UNLESS someone asks you to do something that wasn't already on your plate. Every time anyone asks you to do anything you weren't already planning on, you will take 1 standard shot, then do the task to the best of your ability after however many shots you've already had. For particularly annoying users/coworkers, you may, at your discretion, take one shot as soon as you're interrupted, and one just before you start their task.

I call it Driusan's Rule. I predict an inverse relationship between the number of bikeshed requests you get and how widely publicized Driusan's Rule is amongst your users/coworkers. If I'm mistaken about that, then I predict their requests won't bother you as much, at least.

The more widely publicized/used this policy becomes, the more likely it is to become standard industry practice. So tell your friends.

< Obviously, you're not a golfer. | Genealogical Chagrin >
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As an Investment Banker by dmg (4.00 / 1) #1 Tue Dec 21, 2010 at 07:57:16 PM EST
I recognize a "perverse incentive" when I see it....

What could possibly go wrong with this???
--
dmg - HuSi's most dimwitted overprivileged user.
Nothing! by Driusan (4.00 / 1) #2 Tue Dec 21, 2010 at 08:25:59 PM EST
That's the whole point! Even when it goes wrong, it goes right!

--
Vive le Montréal libre.
[ Parent ]
Queue jumping by Vulch (4.00 / 2) #3 Wed Dec 22, 2010 at 04:34:23 AM EST
Vulch's addendum: Jobs can be jumped to the head of the queue by supplying a fresh bottle. Final priorities will be judged by such factors as singleness of malt, distillery and age, weighted according to the level of the previous bottle. After all you don't want to switch to a 25 year single malt when you're already halfway down the supermarket matured for 3 months with real oak chips blended own-label brand.

This has actually worked for me with cake.



As someone who works in support ... by lm (4.00 / 2) #4 Wed Dec 22, 2010 at 08:23:29 AM EST
... the more stupid requests I get in a given day, the longer I will have a job.

There is no more degenerate kind of state than that in which the richest are supposed to be the best.
Cicero, The Republic
In that case by Driusan (2.00 / 0) #5 Wed Dec 22, 2010 at 08:36:34 AM EST
You should love the thought of developers adopting this rule.

--
Vive le Montréal libre.
[ Parent ]
No, developers are hard enough to get to as is by lm (4.00 / 1) #6 Wed Dec 22, 2010 at 08:41:33 AM EST
I don't want to have to buy a bottle of 20 year old single barrell whiskey to get my requests put in front of the queue.

It's bad enough that there exists a one person force of nature that mediates my requests for face time with a developer.


There is no more degenerate kind of state than that in which the richest are supposed to be the best.
Cicero, The Republic
[ Parent ]
Well by Driusan (2.00 / 0) #7 Wed Dec 22, 2010 at 09:39:09 AM EST
That was Vulch's addendum. Whether the addendum is used or not, the policy ensures that you'll never be out of work.  You just might need to wait a little longer to get things done. So:
  1. More work for you
  2. More slacking off/HuSi time for you
  3. More drunk coworkers
Everyone's a winner!

--
Vive le Montréal libre.
[ Parent ]
Well, if I could expense it and get reimbursed ... by lm (2.00 / 0) #10 Wed Dec 22, 2010 at 08:04:13 PM EST
... otherwise, I don't make enough money to take part in that sort of economy.

There is no more degenerate kind of state than that in which the richest are supposed to be the best.
Cicero, The Republic
[ Parent ]
as a development manager by clock (4.00 / 1) #8 Wed Dec 22, 2010 at 03:05:29 PM EST
i can see NOTHING wrong with this approach.  i plan to roll it out to my staff in the new year!


I agree with clock entirely --Kellnerin

I predict by Driusan (4.00 / 1) #9 Wed Dec 22, 2010 at 03:22:12 PM EST
That this will do wonders for your retention rate, and the next time you're recruiting for a position, you'll receive resumes that are better by orders of magnitude.

--
Vive le Montréal libre.
[ Parent ]
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