Print Story Attn: Happy, Long-Term Relationship Infidels
By tuscoops (Wed Nov 17, 2010 at 10:31:41 AM EST) (all tags)
What is the normal progression of kiss impact?

Say you meet someone, you're interested. That first kiss almost brings you to your knees. You feel it in every part of your body and your mind immediately cries out "Sex, please!". Does this remain a normal part of the relationship or does the impact of kisses diminish throughout the relationship? If the former, do you have a stronger than normal sex drive? If the latter, does that mean the relationship is dying? Thoughts? And is kissing another person considered "cheating"?
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Attn: Happy, Long-Term Relationship Infidels | 19 comments (19 topical, 0 hidden)
I'm probably not the best person to ask. by me0w (4.00 / 1) #1 Wed Nov 17, 2010 at 11:27:31 AM EST
I don't like kissing. I'll do it, but mostly it makes my skin crawl.

I hate kissing by tuscoops (2.00 / 0) #5 Wed Nov 17, 2010 at 06:48:46 PM EST
bad kissers who aren't able to take cues and actually share and experience the moment. Good kissers, however, are another story. Thus, your comment makes me someone saying that all food tastes terrible or that they can't find beauty. Are you *sure* you've been kissing the right people? Do you ever feel "weak in the knees" over someone?

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Yuck by me0w (2.00 / 0) #12 Thu Nov 18, 2010 at 12:54:32 PM EST
I've kissed my fair share of people - male and female ... good kissers and bad, and it's just not something I enjoy.

I have felt "weak in the knees" a few times, but that was never related to kissing ... more to do with personality.

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What about hand-holding? by ammoniacal (2.00 / 0) #15 Thu Nov 18, 2010 at 11:55:07 PM EST
Does that turn your knees to jelly?
Honestly, considering your avocation, I'm perplexed.

"To this day that was the most bullshit caesar salad I have every experienced..." - triggerfinger

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Hand holding doesn't do it either by me0w (2.00 / 0) #16 Fri Nov 19, 2010 at 08:07:08 PM EST

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I'm a bit verklempt. by ammoniacal (2.00 / 0) #17 Fri Nov 19, 2010 at 09:25:29 PM EST
I couldn't live like that. I honestly hope you have another outlet for intimacy. :(

"To this day that was the most bullshit caesar salad I have every experienced..." - triggerfinger

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I don't find that intimacy comes from touch. by me0w (4.00 / 1) #18 Sat Nov 20, 2010 at 10:57:44 AM EST
Doesn't matter if it is kissing, hand holding or sex. I find intimacy in other things, namely, communication.

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I think I understand your subtext by georgeha (4.00 / 1) #2 Wed Nov 17, 2010 at 12:25:12 PM EST
Are you asking if one stays in the "I can't wait to rip your clothing off and make sweet sweet love to you" phase all the time during a long time relationship?

Somewhat by tuscoops (2.00 / 0) #6 Wed Nov 17, 2010 at 06:57:05 PM EST
But mostly just wondering what the standard interest level of kissing is for a typical Husi user in a long-term relationship. Do people start and maintain a relationship with the same kissing intensity and frequency? Does it diminish? Does it return? What does it mean and so on..

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It wanes, and waxes by georgeha (4.00 / 1) #9 Wed Nov 17, 2010 at 07:35:31 PM EST
pure lust doesn't last

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It should remain normal, but often diminishes. by ammoniacal (4.00 / 2) #3 Wed Nov 17, 2010 at 02:14:09 PM EST
Oh, sorry. You said happy and long-term relationship. My bad.

"To this day that was the most bullshit caesar salad I have every experienced..." - triggerfinger

I guess the question is by tuscoops (2.00 / 0) #8 Wed Nov 17, 2010 at 07:30:51 PM EST
What do you think is "normal"?

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At the minimum... by ammoniacal (4.00 / 1) #10 Thu Nov 18, 2010 at 12:23:20 AM EST
every two or three days, a guy should lay a kiss on his lady which kick-starts the embers in her nether regions. Cause a little pelvic congestion, if you catch my drift. If it's not happening, they both should move on to greener pastures, because life's too goddamned short for that noise.

"To this day that was the most bullshit caesar salad I have every experienced..." - triggerfinger

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Of course it diminishes by hulver (4.00 / 3) #4 Wed Nov 17, 2010 at 03:48:28 PM EST
The "love" and "passion" parts of the relationship don't last unchanged too long.

That doesn't mean the relationship is dying, just that the first flush is over. You'd better have some other interest in the person to sustain your love / passion after that time.

Not that there won't be times when it's that intense again, they just won't be every time.

That's my experience anyway, which is limited, so don't read too much into it.

As for kissing another person?

Yes, I'd consider it cheating. Kissing like that anyway. It depends on the passion that's put into the kiss. If it's an "oh god take me now!" type of kiss, then participating willingly in that with somebody who's not your partner is cheating.

Unless of course, you and your partner are happy for it that sort of thing to go on. Depends on what boundary's you've agreed.
Cheese is not a hat. - clock

In speaking with someone today by tuscoops (2.00 / 0) #7 Wed Nov 17, 2010 at 07:11:25 PM EST
It was suggested that the frequency and intensity of kissing in a relationship may be equally or more attributed to the people getting older and their personal sexual interest diminishing but not necessarily attributed to their partner; that two 50 year olds newly in love will be lesser than the level of two 20 year olds, but that perhaps the two 20 year olds would be at the lower level once they reach 50. Basically, that the relationship doesn't get older, but the people do. It was also suggested that someone who maintains the same level of kissing may be be a kissing fetishist.

Curious debate all around, for sure.

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hrm by R343L (4.00 / 2) #11 Thu Nov 18, 2010 at 01:34:48 AM EST
I would say, yes, it's pretty normal to no longer go "oh my god rip clothes off NOW" after kissing when a relationship gets steady. But I think that's because it's no longer new, plus, you know you can always have it later. The kissing isn't a prelude to sex, it's just part of being together. Sometimes a kiss means "I'd really like to fuck you right now" and sometimes it means "I love you and kissing makes me feel connected". It's not that the impact is diminished but that its meaning is no longer only about sex.

As for kissing another being cheating, I say, it depends on the relationship you have.

"There will be time, there will be time / To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet." -- Eliot

Depends too much on the people. by notafurry (4.00 / 2) #13 Thu Nov 18, 2010 at 02:48:04 PM EST
My wife and I have been together five years and have two kids under the age of 4. Seeing each other after a long day still requires at least a couple of minutes for good kissing, and while it's not exactly "rip my clothes off now" it's at least of the "rip my clothes off after the kids are in bed and chores are done, 'kay?" variety.

And kissing other people depends on the relationship. I have several friends that I kiss hello and goodbye, ranging from pecks on the cheek to a pretty thorough kiss. None of them are in any way remarkable to me or my wife and all of them have just sort of settled in as part of my relationships with them - there hasn't been any discussion or conversation about what's acceptable (with the friends; my wife and I have our rules all worked out and discussed regularly.)

Also by notafurry (4.00 / 1) #14 Thu Nov 18, 2010 at 02:51:46 PM EST
It occurs to me that both my parents and my in-laws have been together more than 40 years and are routinely found in the midst of serious kissing sessions. I don't find it unusual or abnormal for people their age or length of relationship, but then, I not only thoroughly enjoy kissing but I also grew up with that.

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is kissing another person cheating? by tierrasimbolica (4.00 / 1) #19 Sat Dec 11, 2010 at 11:05:52 AM EST
 from my point of view, if you have to lie about it, it's cheating.  that goes for other things too, not just kissing.

Attn: Happy, Long-Term Relationship Infidels | 19 comments (19 topical, 0 hidden)