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By clock (Thu Nov 11, 2010 at 08:03:12 AM EST) (all tags)
it is a broken and dangerous place.

Update [2010-11-11 14:18:7 by clock]: re-sectioned for giggles, etc.


My dreams of late are those of a hormonally frustrated 15 year old male (chalking it up as sympathy hormones...or something).  Standard fare with hot waitresses and my 8th grade English teacher.  Annoying, to some degree, but manageable.  And then I get one like last night.

I'm sitting on a bus going to work.  littlestar is driving the bus.

[So far, so good.]

There are about 10 blocks until my stop.  I am the only passenger on the bus.  She is sipping bright orange liquid from a porcelain tea cup.  She is also wearing a two piece bathing suit made of duct tape.

[I can imagine a scenario where this is possible...unlikely, but possibe.]

Suddenly, I am overcome with a powerful dread.  She is drinking Tang!  I begin to argue vehemently that she needs to switch from Tang to all natural malt liquor!

[Um...]

She tells me that malt liquor isn't her speed, but thanks for mentioning it.  I argue more vigorously and explain that she is pouring  horrible chemicals into her body when she could be taking much better care of herself with this fantastic malt liquor!  My stop is coming up and I'm running out of time to make my argument.  She counters with the well known fact that astronauts drink Tang and there's nothing more natural than being an astronaut so I'm just being silly.  Besides, it's my stop and time for me to get off of the bus.  At this point I'm feeling a combination of fear and anxiety.  I don't know what to do!  It's borderline fight or flight!

I stand up, resigned to the fact that I have lost the argument, and step off of the bus.  When I turn around, the bus is not a bus.  It's Airwolf.

I really, really wish I was making this up.

< (almost) For None now live who remember it. | Monotremes oviparous, ovum meroblastic >
on my dreamscape | 26 comments (26 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
CBB needs to do an animation of this. by wiredog (4.00 / 6) #1 Thu Nov 11, 2010 at 08:10:32 AM EST
Littlestar in a 2 piece? Airwolf? Awesome!

Earth First!
(We can strip mine the rest later.)

I know of no story by garlic (4.00 / 4) #2 Thu Nov 11, 2010 at 08:13:09 AM EST
that deserves a vote to the front page more than this.


if the masses demand it by clock (4.00 / 3) #3 Thu Nov 11, 2010 at 08:14:59 AM EST
i will re-title and resection.


I agree with clock entirely --Kellnerin

[ Parent ]
Demand is a strong word by kwsNI (4.00 / 2) #5 Thu Nov 11, 2010 at 08:51:02 AM EST
Strongly desire, sure.  I was thinking that this is front page material myself. 

[ Parent ]
Whatevs by ambrosen (4.00 / 2) #4 Thu Nov 11, 2010 at 08:26:11 AM EST
Call me back when it stars Blue Thunder.

[ Parent ]
at least by StackyMcRacky (4.00 / 1) #6 Thu Nov 11, 2010 at 09:32:46 AM EST
Tang has sugar and not HFCS?  or something.

wow.  so.  yeah.  ok.

i'm just going to go pack the boy's lunch for school.

you know by clock (4.00 / 1) #7 Thu Nov 11, 2010 at 09:55:40 AM EST
that i love malt liquor and airwolf, right? 

RIGHT?!??!?!


I agree with clock entirely --Kellnerin

[ Parent ]
You give me an idea by Herring (4.00 / 3) #8 Thu Nov 11, 2010 at 09:56:07 AM EST
I am going to write into Mythbusters and claim that there is an urban legend stating that you can fashion a functional bikini from duct tape and please can they get Kari to test it.

christ, we're all old now - StackyMcRacky
Oh by Phil the Canuck (4.00 / 3) #9 Thu Nov 11, 2010 at 10:52:11 AM EST
Now that is a myth I'd like to see busted.

[ Parent ]
Or... by ana (4.00 / 8) #10 Thu Nov 11, 2010 at 10:57:45 AM EST
a bust not to be mythed.

"And this ... is a piece of Synergy." --Kellnerin

[ Parent ]
Maybe... by wiredog (4.00 / 3) #20 Thu Nov 11, 2010 at 01:49:46 PM EST
A Mythic Bust?

Earth First!
(We can strip mine the rest later.)

[ Parent ]
Yeah.. by littlestar (4.00 / 3) #12 Thu Nov 11, 2010 at 11:39:47 AM EST
I sense there would be some issue with turning if you just taped it onto the person, but if you actually "made" the bathing suit, that is made a pattern, and used the tape like a material that you have made by taping the tape onto itself and around the edges as a hem so it's not sharp (like the duct tape pencil cases or wallets some of used to make in highschool) then it could be okay. It would certainly be interesting to see. I may make one for the recycle festival next year, though what could we pretend we were recycling the tape from... hmmmm...
*twinkle*twinkle*


[ Parent ]
Yeah.. by littlestar (4.00 / 1) #13 Thu Nov 11, 2010 at 11:40:33 AM EST
I sense there would be some issue with turning if you just taped it onto the person, but if you actually "made" the bathing suit, that is made a pattern, and used the tape like a material that you have made by taping the tape onto itself and around the edges as a hem so it's not sharp (like the duct tape pencil cases or wallets some of used to make in highschool) then it could be okay. It would certainly be interesting to see. I may make one for the recycle festival next year, though what could we pretend we were recycling the tape from... hmmmm...
*twinkle*twinkle*


[ Parent ]
The main issue with just taping it on by Herring (4.00 / 1) #14 Thu Nov 11, 2010 at 11:49:02 AM EST
would surely be getting it off again. I mean, assuming that the tapee is not free of hair in that region. Probably wear a thong underneath.

Or treat it as a free waxing.

christ, we're all old now - StackyMcRacky

[ Parent ]
The Bacon Bikini has been done. by ammoniacal (4.00 / 1) #18 Thu Nov 11, 2010 at 01:23:01 PM EST
The Duct Tape Bikini is child's play in comparison.

"To this day that was the most bullshit caesar salad I have every experienced..." - triggerfinger

[ Parent ]
BWahahahahahaha by littlestar (4.00 / 2) #11 Thu Nov 11, 2010 at 11:35:56 AM EST
I love it. I'm driving my bus, drinking Tang AND I get to wear duct tape? Then I turn back into my now not so secret other identity as a super-copter. I must say I am relieved to not have to keep this a secret any longer. 
*twinkle*twinkle*


oh no! by clock (2.00 / 0) #15 Thu Nov 11, 2010 at 11:49:48 AM EST
not a super copter!  a super copter pilot!  how badass is that?!?!


I agree with clock entirely --Kellnerin

[ Parent ]
Oh! by littlestar (4.00 / 1) #17 Thu Nov 11, 2010 at 12:29:00 PM EST
The guy? HAhahahaa... that's funnier. I would have rather been the copter, but you know, that's okay, your dream. 
*twinkle*twinkle*


[ Parent ]
well. by clock (4.00 / 1) #19 Thu Nov 11, 2010 at 01:45:04 PM EST
i'll try to do better tonight.


I agree with clock entirely --Kellnerin

[ Parent ]
I once had a dream... by atreides (4.00 / 1) #16 Thu Nov 11, 2010 at 11:57:15 AM EST
...where I was riding a bus driven by Robert Johnson but it wasn't a bus, it was a train on streets. It ended with me and the girl I was in loveobsessed with dragging off my father's body to bury it in my back yard.

Cute dream, but I've had weirder...

He sails from world to world in a flying tomb, serving gods who eat hope.

Angry dreams by me0w (4.00 / 3) #21 Fri Nov 12, 2010 at 12:07:46 AM EST
I had a dream this week that I went on a cruise with a UKian friend. He sent me a text message and told me to meet him at lifeboat #[whatever] because he had something important to tell me. I went to the lifeboat but all that was there was sign that said "Surprise! I'm not here. Got to lifeboat #[whatever]. I looked inside the lifeboat and there was an archery lesson in progress. I went to the next lifeboat and there was a similar sign. This kept happening and I was getting really mad .... and then I woke up furious.

I messaged my friend and told him that he was a giant asshole and that I was never going on a cruise with him.

He likely thinks I am crazy now.


"the only reason we PMS is because our uterus is screaming at our brain to go out, get fucked, and have a baby ... and it makes us angry."

I'm sure he thought you were crazy before. by wiredog (2.00 / 0) #24 Fri Nov 12, 2010 at 11:12:24 AM EST


Earth First!
(We can strip mine the rest later.)

[ Parent ]
Likely by me0w (2.00 / 0) #25 Fri Nov 12, 2010 at 12:59:05 PM EST

"the only reason we PMS is because our uterus is screaming at our brain to go out, get fucked, and have a baby ... and it makes us angry."
[ Parent ]
um by Merekat (4.00 / 1) #22 Fri Nov 12, 2010 at 09:06:44 AM EST
I have googled 'malt liquor' and now I fear. I presume it should be drunk out of a paper-bag-shrouded bottle?

no no no by StackyMcRacky (4.00 / 1) #23 Fri Nov 12, 2010 at 09:44:01 AM EST
malt liquor is no good unless Billy Dee Williams is involved.

[ Parent ]
Now that by littlestar (4.00 / 1) #26 Sun Nov 14, 2010 at 03:36:30 PM EST
is SMOOOOOOOOTH. 
*twinkle*twinkle*


[ Parent ]
on my dreamscape | 26 comments (26 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback