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By ObviousTroll (Wed Jan 06, 2010 at 08:59:47 AM EST) (all tags)
Just posted this as my weekly status report for $IB_COMPANY. Thought you'd get a giggle out of it.


Today is my first day back from the break, so no work updates – but I wanted to share the basic result of my medical tests since I was whining about them before the shutdown and y’all deserve a chance to mock me for it:

  1. Bone Density Scan: Most bones were normal, although the skull was unusually thick, and the doctors failed to find a backbone. Prescription: Watch John Wayne movies until backbone situation improves. Doctors say there’s no cure for the skull problem.
  2. Gastroenterology Testing: No problems that eating more fiber and less candy won’t fix. Prescription: Avoid Diane’s cubicle. Eat more (ugh) fruit.
  3. Elbow X-Rays: Not broken. Swollen, stiff, and achy, but not broken. Prescription: Everyone should mock the martial artist for losing in a 1-point sparring match with a house cat and a Christmas tree.
In the end, I don't blame the cat for doing what cats do, but I'm disappointed that the Christmas tree decided to take her side in the matter.
< on the midweek | merry epiphany >
Health Update | 7 comments (7 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
Thick skull and no spine by ucblockhead (4.00 / 1) #1 Wed Jan 06, 2010 at 09:58:02 AM EST
Clearly you belong in politics!
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[ucblockhead is] useless and subhuman
Does chocolate covered fruit count? by georgeha (4.00 / 1) #2 Wed Jan 06, 2010 at 10:09:55 AM EST
I bought a nice bag of it at Walmart.


DOH! Hey, how are you? How you doin? by ObviousTroll (2.00 / 0) #3 Wed Jan 06, 2010 at 10:24:37 AM EST
I just remembered - I mailed the games on Monday, Priority Mail, you should be seeing them any day now.


An Angry and Flatulent Pig, Trying to Tie Balloon Animals
[ Parent ]
Wow, thanks! by georgeha (2.00 / 0) #4 Wed Jan 06, 2010 at 10:25:56 AM EST
Can I paypal you the postage?


[ Parent ]
The postage was $16 by ObviousTroll (2.00 / 0) #5 Wed Jan 06, 2010 at 11:31:35 AM EST
I'll get you the PP info tonight - I haven't logged into that account in ages and I have to find the password.


An Angry and Flatulent Pig, Trying to Tie Balloon Animals
[ Parent ]
You made 13 year old upset by georgeha (2.00 / 0) #6 Wed Jan 06, 2010 at 05:03:53 PM EST
She saw a big box, thought it was her long delayed Uggs, it wasn't.


[ Parent ]
Tell her I deeply apologize. by ObviousTroll (2.00 / 0) #7 Wed Jan 06, 2010 at 05:55:39 PM EST
She must have some mighty big feet. 

An Angry and Flatulent Pig, Trying to Tie Balloon Animals
[ Parent ]
Health Update | 7 comments (7 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback