Today is my first day back from the break, so no work updates – but I wanted to share the basic result of my medical tests since I was whining about them before the shutdown and y’all deserve a chance to mock me for it:
- Bone Density Scan: Most bones were normal, although the skull was unusually thick, and the doctors failed to find a backbone. Prescription: Watch John Wayne movies until backbone situation improves. Doctors say there’s no cure for the skull problem.
- Gastroenterology Testing: No problems that eating more fiber and less candy won’t fix. Prescription: Avoid Diane’s cubicle. Eat more (ugh) fruit.
- Elbow X-Rays: Not broken. Swollen, stiff, and achy, but not broken. Prescription: Everyone should mock the martial artist for losing in a 1-point sparring match with a house cat and a Christmas tree.
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