Print Story Attention Foster/Adoptive parental infidels
By MartiniPhilosopher (Thu Aug 27, 2009 at 01:22:42 PM EST) (all tags)
Our first class for such was this past Tuesday. There are nine more to go before we can apply for certification and license.

There was a lot of information we went over and a lot of paperwork to fill out.

Any advice from those who have already gone through this process?

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Attention Foster/Adoptive parental infidels | 3 comments (3 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
Infant or older child? by FlightTest (2.00 / 0) #1 Thu Aug 27, 2009 at 02:50:17 PM EST
Plenty of words if you're after an older child, not so much if you want an infant.

Looking at the full range of ages by MartiniPhilosopher (2.00 / 0) #2 Thu Aug 27, 2009 at 03:01:47 PM EST
Not sure what we will end up with, however. There's a lot of work we'll have to get the house child safe for the younger set, not so much for teens and older.

Whenever I hear one of those aforementioned douche bags pontificate about how dangerous [...] videogames are I get a little stabby. --Wil Wheaton.

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Things to think about by SunlightGirl (2.00 / 0) #3 Thu Aug 27, 2009 at 03:30:45 PM EST
Are you willing to take sibling groups? 
There is a great need in the foster care system for those willing to take siblings. The spilting up of children into different homes can cause massive issues for all the children. Esp if some get adopted and the older ones do not.

How do you feel about bi-racial children?  How do you feel about having adolscent child of older age around? How does your partner? I found my partner refused to let us have a bi-racial or black child.  I could have cared less if a kid was purple but it was critical to him. Make sure you how your partner feels about bonding to a child that might look drastically different than the rest of the family. I found out my partner felt beyond uncomfortable with pre-teen or older female children or with male children over 6.

Older children who you can trust can be total hoot - of course my favorite - no potty training. Also not so much a deal to worry about babysitting.  You need to be prepared for some serious boundary testing with some foster children esp if they have been in abusive foster homes. Normal children act out and parents take it as normal - but when people have turned in kids for normal testing the limits kids can start to resent having to be better than if they were your own.  With each child you want to be sure to ask - hold old the child was when the child entered care - under what circumstance - how many temp or permanent foster homes has the child been to - has the child been sexually abused - has the child had basic needs every neglected.  These can be dealt with - but you need to know what you are getting into. If you can't handle certain things it is not fair on the kid for you to want to turn them in as if they were a library book.

Are you willing to take children who have not had their parental rights terminated? 
It can be heart breaking for a family to start to care for a child who is not free to be adopted only to have to return that child to a potentially neglectful or abusive natural parent. How would you feel if you had a 2 year old you raised for 6 months and the mom reappeared and wanted the kid back. You wouldn't know till it happens but you might want to think about what your goals are. If you are hoping to foster adopt it may be best to take only kids free to be adopted.  Many social workers will not properly stress the impact that having to return a child to a parent you know isn't as good as you are can be. I had dear friend have her heart ripped to shreds over having to give back a child she thought would be hers forever. The mother came back into picture and then seeing the bond between foster mother and son was so great requested and go removal of the child from the home on the grounds it could adversaly affect the child rebonding to her.

In enhancing the approval process - you might want to research you local schools, socail services, special needs programs, neighborhood environment. Stability is what they are looking at. If you live in an area with amazing public schools that is huge plus. If you have any special hobbies of interest stress those so they can possibly place a child with similar inclination with you. If you summer every year in certain part of the country with your family -  bring that up and show pics. Skate parks , great local libraries, proximity to boys and girls club,  being member of the Y as family, having going to local sports events  as past time - hobbies that a kid or pre-teen could share with you - these things are great in your favor.

With older foster parenting there can be stress but you at least have a kid who can talk to you.
Parenting a child who has been abused or very neglected in crib can be more difficult.
Have you done any reading on the bonding process? Foster children tend to fit into two main categories - quick pronto bonders and those who are resistent. Are you willing to take the time to let a kid bond ? If you have issues with wanting quick connections be sure to tell your social worker.

Oh fuck the ponies - fuck it all...
Attention Foster/Adoptive parental infidels | 3 comments (3 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback