Print Story One man and his shed.
Hardware
By Breaker (Wed Aug 12, 2009 at 09:52:20 AM EST) (all tags)
Well, the house is largely sorted.  There are still a few things left to get finished here and there but nothing major beyond redecorating the hallway and cutting the edging that sits above the new wooden floor.  Simples.


Of course, there are distractions along the way:

Distraction #1

In spite of that, we have gone from this:

Shed`s dead, baby.  Shed`s dead.

To this:
As if by magic, the shed disappeared

All going great guns until I trod on a nail on Saturday night then burnt most of Sunday in the Minor Injuries Clinic at Guys.  It still hurts like a bastard, for the record.

Next up: dig foundations to 15 cm deep.  Then buy and install the new shed.  Then sort the garden out.

And relax.

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One man and his shed. | 58 comments (58 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
She's beautiful by georgeha (4.00 / 1) #1 Wed Aug 12, 2009 at 09:54:53 AM EST
but why does she have a driver's license?


Thankyou by Breaker (4.00 / 2) #2 Wed Aug 12, 2009 at 09:58:42 AM EST
4.5 x 4.5 x 2.4999999m of shedlove!

Oh, the baby!  That's a passport, not a driver's licence. 

I don't understand the need for a seperate document either, but that passport is valid for 5 years.  By which time of course, the photo taken when she was 1 month old will still completely look like her.  What could go wrong?


[ Parent ]
How much did it cost by nebbish (4.00 / 2) #9 Wed Aug 12, 2009 at 10:21:01 AM EST
I practically vomited when I found out I'd have to pay £70 for my new one. Such good timing when you're scraping money together for a holiday.

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It's political correctness gone mad!

[ Parent ]
We paid about that too. by Breaker (2.00 / 0) #11 Wed Aug 12, 2009 at 10:41:10 AM EST
Also paid another tenner for the "check and send" service at the PO, which was worth it until I saw how much work was required (the desk operator just had a little look at it) and still said "I'm not sure if this'll be accepted" as we'd corrected a small typo.

Still, that pales into insignificance to the 750 quid that we coughed up for MBW's Right To Remain, and the subsequent 720 notes we'll have to find for Citizenship (need to hurry this as new guidelines are coming in soon).  Oh and then we get to pay another 70 quid for MBW's UKian passport.

Damn your eyes nebbish!  This diary was supposed to be instead of me blaming Nu Lab for everything!  xth may indeed be right!  But with such provocation, can you blame me?

I seem to recall reading somewhere (no idea of the veracity of the tale though) that the Passport Office is totally self funding, and that all charges are to maintain the running of the Office.  With the recession kicking in, not so many people are going abroad so they're having to crank up the price of a passport to make up the shortfall.  Surely you'd have thought laying off some staff might be the solution, or finding efficiencies elsewhere, but no, the price goes up.  As I said though, I can't recall the source of this so it may have been some anti government trolling I was reading.


[ Parent ]
Check and send by nebbish (4.00 / 1) #18 Wed Aug 12, 2009 at 11:13:12 AM EST
My photo was a bit weird (the seat in the photo booth was wobbly), they measured the dimensions of my head (!) and advised me to get another photo, so I was pleased I used it.

I WAS pissed off about the cost, but if they're self funded that sort of explains it.

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It's political correctness gone mad!

[ Parent ]
Phrenology as part of the ID process! by Breaker (4.00 / 2) #20 Wed Aug 12, 2009 at 11:21:07 AM EST
And I thought the science behind the ID cards was bad!

Self funded should surely mean they cut their cloth to suit demand though, instead of adding to our costs?


[ Parent ]
Monopoly /nt by nebbish (4.00 / 2) #22 Wed Aug 12, 2009 at 11:28:22 AM EST

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It's political correctness gone mad!

[ Parent ]
Risk! by Breaker (4.00 / 1) #23 Wed Aug 12, 2009 at 11:34:45 AM EST
NT


[ Parent ]
Check and send by Dr Thrustgood (2.00 / 0) #50 Wed Aug 12, 2009 at 07:32:05 PM EST
Isn't part of the deal that you get your money back if your application's rejected?

Insurance: job done, innit!



[ Parent ]
Did I miss the bit about MBW by anonimouse (4.00 / 1) #26 Wed Aug 12, 2009 at 11:57:33 AM EST
..being an imported  model? I suppose it makes sense if you juxtapose your chosen acronym.

There seems to be a distinct lack of imported boobies since JtL sent his back; maybe Dr Thrustgood can send a few in the direction of the UK.


Girls come and go but a mortgage is for 25 years -- JtL
[ Parent ]
She is a furriner by Breaker (4.00 / 1) #28 Wed Aug 12, 2009 at 12:11:31 PM EST
But she came here under her own steam; sort of reverse Transportation if you like.

Damn those Aussies, coming over here and beating us at cricket and then stealing our hearts!


[ Parent ]
Linky by Breaker (2.00 / 0) #16 Wed Aug 12, 2009 at 10:56:56 AM EST
Not sure if it was the same one I remember reading, but here you go.


[ Parent ]
Lack of travellers? by nebbish (4.00 / 1) #19 Wed Aug 12, 2009 at 11:19:53 AM EST
Fuckin balls

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It's political correctness gone mad!

[ Parent ]
I dunno either by Breaker (2.00 / 0) #21 Wed Aug 12, 2009 at 11:22:40 AM EST
And can't be arsed trawling the interwebs any further.

I would like to see a breakdown of how that 77 quid is spent though...


[ Parent ]
At the risk of upsetting xth again by dmg (2.00 / 0) #45 Wed Aug 12, 2009 at 06:44:26 PM EST
I'd venture to suggest large proportion of it ends up in the coffers of the EU... 
--
dmg - HuSi's most dimwitted overprivileged user.
[ Parent ]
Its a passport by anonimouse (4.00 / 1) #3 Wed Aug 12, 2009 at 09:58:54 AM EST
She's leaving home a little early 

Girls come and go but a mortgage is for 25 years -- JtL
[ Parent ]
They grow up so fast! by Breaker (2.00 / 0) #5 Wed Aug 12, 2009 at 10:10:04 AM EST
We are off on holiday in September; a 5 month old baby (as she will be then) requires her own travel document.


[ Parent ]
4.5mx4.5m - That's no shed by anonimouse (4.00 / 1) #4 Wed Aug 12, 2009 at 10:09:45 AM EST
 It's a space station!

Are you going to have a garden when that thing lands in it?


Girls come and go but a mortgage is for 25 years -- JtL
It'll take half the garden by Breaker (4.00 / 1) #7 Wed Aug 12, 2009 at 10:12:42 AM EST
But it will give us a study / guitar room and a shed (split 2/3rds room, 1/3 proper shed).  For perspective in the second picture where the big wooden sheet stands, that's about where the shed will come to.

MBW and I have argued incessantly about how deep to dig the rocket silos underneath it when complete.  I do have a nice black leather chair ready, and a white kitten shouldn't be too hard to find...


[ Parent ]
Have you considered two sheds? by gzt (4.00 / 3) #10 Wed Aug 12, 2009 at 10:35:42 AM EST
Or you could write a symphony in the shed.

[ Parent ]
It will be 2 sheds by Breaker (2.00 / 0) #12 Wed Aug 12, 2009 at 10:48:45 AM EST
Just separated internally.  Two sheds would be avaricious beyond any mans rightful dreams.


[ Parent ]
Besides avaricious by brokkr (4.00 / 1) #25 Wed Aug 12, 2009 at 11:42:21 AM EST
... your first name isn't Arthur.

Oh, and regarding the poll: "Breaker will get too distracted with his daughter & heir" - I thought you only had the one kid?
--
Deyr fé, deyja frændr, deyr sjalfr it sama,
ek veit einn, at aldrei deyr: dómr um dau∂an hvern.

[ Parent ]
On weekends it's Loretta by Breaker (2.00 / 0) #29 Wed Aug 12, 2009 at 12:13:03 PM EST
The "daughter & heir" is applied to the one child only, yes.  She is both my daughter, and as eldest so far (have to do some fancy footwork with MBW to work on that one though!) is also my heir.


[ Parent ]
No footwork required by anonimouse (4.00 / 1) #30 Wed Aug 12, 2009 at 12:16:02 PM EST
She'll forget how much trouble the current one was Real Soon Now.....

Girls come and go but a mortgage is for 25 years -- JtL
[ Parent ]
I hope so by Breaker (4.00 / 1) #31 Wed Aug 12, 2009 at 12:25:53 PM EST
Never met an only child who didn't wish for at least one sibling.


[ Parent ]
Until by sugar spun (4.00 / 2) #36 Wed Aug 12, 2009 at 04:54:48 PM EST

they got one.



[ Parent ]
Hehe by Breaker (2.00 / 0) #39 Wed Aug 12, 2009 at 05:54:32 PM EST
I meant adult only children!


[ Parent ]
Meet my wife by brokkr (2.00 / 0) #41 Wed Aug 12, 2009 at 05:58:28 PM EST
She was and is content with being a lone child. Meanwhile, I could've done without siblings.
--
Deyr fé, deyja frændr, deyr sjalfr it sama,
ek veit einn, at aldrei deyr: dómr um dau∂an hvern.

[ Parent ]
One is one by Breaker (2.00 / 0) #44 Wed Aug 12, 2009 at 06:26:21 PM EST
And all alone
And ever more shall be so.

Meh, I've not met either of you so my assertion still stands.


[ Parent ]
Pah by brokkr (2.00 / 0) #40 Wed Aug 12, 2009 at 05:57:32 PM EST
True heirs are blessed with both X and Y chromosomes.
--
Deyr fé, deyja frændr, deyr sjalfr it sama,
ek veit einn, at aldrei deyr: dómr um dau∂an hvern.

[ Parent ]
Sexist by Breaker (2.00 / 0) #43 Wed Aug 12, 2009 at 06:25:35 PM EST
My daughter will be brought up to understand she can slay dragons, if needed.


[ Parent ]
My daughter by anonimouse (4.00 / 1) #54 Thu Aug 13, 2009 at 02:28:04 AM EST
operates on the principle that if a boy disagrees with her, they get a kick where it hurts.

I think she's going to be the next dragon slayer in the family.


Girls come and go but a mortgage is for 25 years -- JtL
[ Parent ]
half the garden ? by sasquatchan (4.00 / 1) #24 Wed Aug 12, 2009 at 11:42:12 AM EST
My goodness, man, I think Dr. Livingstone is hiding in that thicket.

Get thee the shears and glycophosphate and put and end to that mess..

[ Parent ]
That is no thicket! by Breaker (2.00 / 0) #27 Wed Aug 12, 2009 at 12:08:39 PM EST
It's my potato and tomato patch !


[ Parent ]
I see the tomatoes by sasquatchan (4.00 / 1) #32 Wed Aug 12, 2009 at 12:42:56 PM EST
but I don't see the spuds.. And the thicket is really at the back, and on the side -- that stuff in the back looks like abandoned house climbing vines ..

[ Parent ]
Toms are on the right by Breaker (2.00 / 0) #33 Wed Aug 12, 2009 at 12:59:11 PM EST
Spuds are in the black bucket, and in the soil in front of that.  I don't know if I'll actually get anything from the spuds, but all it cost was a little digging and a couple of off potatoes. 

That climbing vine is ivy, bane of my life.  In places it is thicker than my forearm, everywhere it is intertwined with the fencing, and has insinuated itself into the brickwork even.

Unfortunately the roots are on the other side of the fence so I can't dig them out; under UKian law I can trim what hangs over my property and no more.  Beyond them however is 3 storey flats, so having a little ivy screen that high does give us a little privacy.

I'm told the way to get rid of ivy is to cut it all down, and burn it.  Dig out the roots and poison what you can't get out of the soil.  Repeat for ten years or so and it might eventually stop growing.


[ Parent ]
I can't quite make it out by komet (4.00 / 1) #6 Wed Aug 12, 2009 at 10:10:23 AM EST
what does it say in the "Holder's signature/Signature du titulaire (10)" space? And it's not biometric, is it?

I shall be examining the veracity of your various depictions in due course.




--
<ni> komet: You are functionally illiterate as regards trashy erotica.
It says by Breaker (2.00 / 0) #8 Wed Aug 12, 2009 at 10:18:34 AM EST
"Holder not required to sign" or somesuch.

It isn't biometric, no, but it is chipped.


[ Parent ]
you missed the perfect oportunity by TPD (4.00 / 1) #13 Wed Aug 12, 2009 at 10:51:00 AM EST
to have a recursive passport....

PEPSI still has his one from year dot, those baby passports are crazy!


why sit, when you can sit and swivel with The Ab-SwivellerTM
Nice idea by Breaker (2.00 / 0) #15 Wed Aug 12, 2009 at 10:55:52 AM EST
But you try explaining that to Border Control!


[ Parent ]
Beautiful girl by sugar spun (4.00 / 1) #14 Wed Aug 12, 2009 at 10:53:19 AM EST

How did you manage to get the passport photo?



Thank you! by Breaker (4.00 / 1) #17 Wed Aug 12, 2009 at 10:58:51 AM EST
I believe she takes after her mother.

Photo was done at Snappy Snaps, they do the photo and give you 8 prints too.  She had just had a massive feed, hence the slightly dozy look!


[ Parent ]
Milk coma. by sugar spun (4.00 / 1) #35 Wed Aug 12, 2009 at 04:53:37 PM EST
My favourite time of the day.

[ Parent ]
Milk coma by Breaker (2.00 / 0) #38 Wed Aug 12, 2009 at 05:54:00 PM EST
Yours or the baby's?


[ Parent ]
Clinic? by ucblockhead (4.00 / 1) #34 Wed Aug 12, 2009 at 04:29:26 PM EST
Didn't your socialize medicine cut off your foot and then kill your granny?
---
[ucblockhead is] useless and subhuman
Nah, by ambrosen (4.00 / 1) #37 Wed Aug 12, 2009 at 05:47:08 PM EST
he just sacrificed a world-class scientist, and they did everything he wanted.

[ Parent ]
Yep, clinic by Breaker (4.00 / 1) #42 Wed Aug 12, 2009 at 06:23:53 PM EST
The "pro-NHS" Nu Labia government have been shutting A&E wards for years.

They would have cut my foot off and murdered my granny, but with budget shortfalls locally the surgeon was off playing golf instead, so I got the shoddy treatment of having the wound properly cleaned and bandaged, a few basic infection precautions taken and was sent on my stuttered gaited way.  Really, I just wanted the whole foot off though, to be sure.

I did wait about 90 minutes though.  And I didn't have to worry "how much is this going to cost me" either, so it wasn't all bad.


[ Parent ]
Can't remember if I posted this before. by dmg (2.00 / 0) #46 Wed Aug 12, 2009 at 06:49:19 PM EST
The independently wealthy shed owner has some seriously tasty shed options available to them... 
--
dmg - HuSi's most dimwitted overprivileged user.
Shed of distinction by Breaker (2.00 / 0) #49 Wed Aug 12, 2009 at 07:22:56 PM EST
Is it just me or is Gabriel looking a bit like Gary Glitter's older brother in that photo?


[ Parent ]
Adorable! by yankeehack (2.00 / 0) #47 Wed Aug 12, 2009 at 06:52:28 PM EST
Your daughter... your backyard, not so much
"...she dares to indulge in the secret sport. You can't be a MILF with the F, at least in part because the M is predicated upon it."-CBB
TYVM by Breaker (2.00 / 0) #48 Wed Aug 12, 2009 at 07:20:54 PM EST
Well, the daughter had our undivided attention for 13 months, let's see what we can do with the garden...


[ Parent ]
Garden????? by Bob Abooey (4.00 / 1) #51 Wed Aug 12, 2009 at 07:45:15 PM EST
Good lord man - if that's what you call a garden I can fully understand why the right minded rebel fellows decided to break away and come to the Americas!

Warmest regards,
--Your best pal Bob

How's my blogging: Call me at 209.867.5309 to complain.

Yes, "garden" by Breaker (2.00 / 0) #52 Wed Aug 12, 2009 at 08:00:17 PM EST
Shorthand for "building site, rubbish dump, temporary storage for what was in the shed before I knocked it down, temporary space for growing some food / herbs which will eventually be tilled into an English lawn and fragrant garden".

Which is a bit long winded, hence the abbreviation.


[ Parent ]
It's an English Country Garden by komet (4.00 / 1) #55 Thu Aug 13, 2009 at 04:29:37 AM EST
so, what will you do if you can't find a loo?




--
<ni> komet: You are functionally illiterate as regards trashy erotica.
[ Parent ]
Pull down your pants and by ambrosen (4.00 / 1) #57 Thu Aug 13, 2009 at 11:45:32 AM EST
do it on the ants, IIRC.

[ Parent ]
Then get a spade and bury what you made (nt) by komet (4.00 / 1) #58 Thu Aug 13, 2009 at 11:50:22 AM EST



--
<ni> komet: You are functionally illiterate as regards trashy erotica.
[ Parent ]
Nice looking shed by marvin (4.00 / 1) #53 Wed Aug 12, 2009 at 11:49:35 PM EST
Easy to assemble, from looking at the website. The floor support spacing looks fairly high - how sturdy are the floors, and did you notice any flex as you walked on them on a display model? How do you plan to finish the lumber - something like Thompsons water seal?

Too bad they badge themselves as a log cabin company, since nothing they make even remotely resembles what we would call a log cabin in Canada.

Floors were rock solid by Breaker (2.00 / 0) #56 Thu Aug 13, 2009 at 07:35:50 AM EST
They supply the finishing treatment at a cost; no idea who the manufacturer is though.

Indeed, there are no logs as such in the construction, I believe they claim it as the end pieces overlap, which is the log cabin style of construction.

But to me, it will forever be "shed".


[ Parent ]
One man and his shed. | 58 comments (58 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback