Print Story Interesting Happenings.
By nightflameblue (Thu May 28, 2009 at 10:59:59 AM EST) (all tags)

We have an ex-coworker going the non-MNS route to attempting to be as awesome as MNS. Also, metalz vs. not metalz. And Zippy still fails.

The previously linked to music video was shown to BB. He says, and I quote, "That contains zero percent metal."

"Why do you say that?"

"They're wearing fucking pirate costumes!"

"Dude, don't you like Slipknot?"

He was not amused.


The Zippy fail has been ramping up. Or we've become overly sensitive to it now that the boss has put us on track to be in-tune and let him know all fails. Anyway, yesterday ended in a pow-wow between BB, the boss, and myself, discussing how best to track Zipper's daily flail sheet. Bossman wants to track all incoming calls, all web activity, all desk phone conversations and, essentially, everything. He's looking for the nail in the coffin at this point, and wants as much as he can get before the firing squad.

Problem: Zippy is not, in fact, a complete idiot. The one thing he does consistently is remove himself from the proxy every morning before he begins his daily surfing routine. How do we know this? Not one trace of his IP address shows up in the proxy log over the past two months. Every hit should show in the long-logs, including internal addresses. Yet, not one from his IP. It's not an easy task to accomplish, and requires a certain skillset that, by his performance around the office, we would swear he does not have. Yet, there it is, in virtual black and white as it were.

The boss is not amused by this revelation.


Some dude that used to work here thinks he's all awesome and shit and we should all fear his stupid ass. He's wrong. Let me point out how he's wrong.

If you are gonna gun fuckers down, the one thing you do NOT want to do is let them know ahead of time. This guy has been essentially writing it on billboards. He threatened some close coworkers to start with, got himself fired, then went out in a blaze of stupidity, ranting and raving about shooting the place up. Now he's come back four times we're aware of in vehicles without license plates and just sat outside, casing the place out, with his window open. Vehicles that we have perfect descriptions of because he sits there literally for hours, just watching the building. Out in the open. Did I mention with his window open so you can see him plain as day?

While the management scrambles to get "official papers" up in here so they can have him arrested for being on premises, I have a better proposed solution.

MNS, we need a removal during one of his "espionage" failure runs. I would say you could try to pick him up and train him, as he does appear to have enthusiasm, but I don't think he has the required brain power to learn actual skills.

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Interesting Happenings. | 22 comments (22 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
Thinking of you... by wiredog (2.00 / 0) #1 Thu May 28, 2009 at 11:06:35 AM EST
A Metalz Tattoo

Earth First!
(We can strip mine the rest later.)

If that's on a guy by nightflameblue (2.00 / 0) #2 Thu May 28, 2009 at 11:42:06 AM EST
He needs help. If it's a tramp stamp on a female, metalz.

[ Parent ]
Yer Boss by Gedvondur (2.00 / 0) #3 Thu May 28, 2009 at 11:47:45 AM EST
Needs to think out of the box.  The fact that ZippyMotherFuckerDude has been bypassing your proxy is probably a firing offense in your IT policy manual.  Or at least a second strike offense.  Plus, you can still examine his browsing history, unless he has been wiping it out.  Bossdude should write him up for that, and point out that he hasn't logged a web moment in two months. 

This whole incident reinforces my long-held view that nobody can fuck you faster than your co-workers which is why its important to make sure that they are, at minimum, not actively angry at you in the long term.


"...I almost puked like a pregnant StackyMcRacky." --MillMan
IT policy manual? by nightflameblue (4.00 / 1) #5 Thu May 28, 2009 at 12:26:50 PM EST
I seem to recall some vague mentioning of something like that one time being shot down as ridiculous and overzealous. Sure would come in handy about now though.

[ Parent ]
Nah, you don't need it. by notafurry (4.00 / 3) #9 Thu May 28, 2009 at 12:42:09 PM EST
Point out to the boss that this means he hasn't officially done anything with a browser in months. Those configuration tasks he claimed to be working on through web forms? No evidence they were completed. User calls requiring verification? Doesn't look like he ever did them. I'd say that's a pretty clear sign he isn't doing anything.

[ Parent ]
Heh by Gedvondur (2.00 / 0) #15 Thu May 28, 2009 at 02:11:31 PM EST
Well, these situations are exactly what that's for.  Why bother with web filtering if there is no policy against looking at any site?  Mind you, I do admit that these documents are usually used as tools of control and to make IT handle what management should be handling, but still, you have to have it written down somewhere that bypassing the company's security measures is a termination offense.


"...I almost puked like a pregnant StackyMcRacky." --MillMan
[ Parent ]
Training him sounds perfect by MohammedNiyalSayeed (2.00 / 0) #4 Thu May 28, 2009 at 12:16:53 PM EST

in so much that we mean the same kind of "training" that results in "accidental" death and "dismemberment". Nothing needs corrective training quite like a failure to comprehend the basics of stealth.

You can build the most elegant fountain in the world, but eventually a winged rat will be using it as a drinking bowl.
Two birds, one bullet by nightflameblue (2.00 / 0) #6 Thu May 28, 2009 at 12:27:20 PM EST
So to speak.

[ Parent ]
Or One Shot, Two Kills by MohammedNiyalSayeed (2.00 / 0) #7 Thu May 28, 2009 at 12:39:15 PM EST

It's a variant on the SEAL classic, "Three Shots, Three Kills".

You can build the most elegant fountain in the world, but eventually a winged rat will be using it as a drinking bowl.
[ Parent ]
or my favorite variant by StackyMcRacky (4.00 / 1) #14 Thu May 28, 2009 at 02:02:18 PM EST
from the Texas Rangers:  "One riot, one ranger."

[ Parent ]
if he's making an effort to hide his tracks by clover kicker (2.00 / 0) #8 Thu May 28, 2009 at 12:40:11 PM EST
I bet a sniffer would turn up all kinds of interesting things, maybe even the smoking gun you are seeking.

Don't say I said this by nightflameblue (2.00 / 0) #10 Thu May 28, 2009 at 01:05:39 PM EST
But the firewall cannot be circumvented.

You don't know that though, if anyone asks.

[ Parent ]
Some sort of keystroke mouseclick logger by Breaker (2.00 / 0) #11 Thu May 28, 2009 at 01:12:01 PM EST
Perhaps?  Or some silent remote control software - something like Back Orifice 2K so you can have your boss watch what Zipster's doing each morning.

The boss just requested by nightflameblue (2.00 / 0) #12 Thu May 28, 2009 at 01:20:54 PM EST
we find a way to hide the VNC status icon from Zippy when someone is logged in watching him. This just got interesting.

[ Parent ]
Awesomeness by Breaker (2.00 / 0) #13 Thu May 28, 2009 at 01:39:42 PM EST
Can you do that with VNC though?

[ Parent ]
BB found a way. by nightflameblue (2.00 / 0) #16 Thu May 28, 2009 at 02:17:25 PM EST
He's got skillz yo.

Unfortunately, the Zippy household is experiencing technical difficulties and the wife is unable to get her googlechat working today so the boss thinks BB and I are making it up. Well, except for the constant phone calls between him and her because she can't googlechat him all day long.

[ Parent ]
Edit the resource file by ambrosen (4.00 / 1) #17 Thu May 28, 2009 at 02:33:13 PM EST
so they both look the same?

[ Parent ]
Dunno. by nightflameblue (2.00 / 0) #18 Thu May 28, 2009 at 02:57:59 PM EST
He got something working though, so I'm not questioning it.

[ Parent ]
Also to by Herring (2.00 / 0) #19 Thu May 28, 2009 at 03:21:25 PM EST
be changing the process name.

christ, we're all old now - StackyMcRacky
[ Parent ]
Come to think of it, by ambrosen (2.00 / 0) #20 Thu May 28, 2009 at 03:33:01 PM EST
VNC's expected on the machine, so I guess you can just swap over the unconnected icon into the connected icon in the resource file.

[ Parent ]
You're all pretty scary by brokkr (4.00 / 1) #21 Thu May 28, 2009 at 05:16:47 PM EST
What's a slacker to do anymore?
Deyr fé, deyja frændr, deyr sjalfr it sama,
ek veit einn, at aldrei deyr: dómr um dau∂an hvern.

[ Parent ]
I don't know. by ambrosen (2.00 / 0) #22 Thu May 28, 2009 at 06:27:34 PM EST
I don't work in IT, but I once did.

I know the VNC password for over 50% of the machines in the trust.

Just tested the icon thing. Took me 10 minutes all in, finding the VNC and resource editor software and copying across the icon colours.

[ Parent ]
Interesting Happenings. | 22 comments (22 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback