Print Story days at the Ashram
Diary
By MillMan (Thu May 14, 2009 at 12:23:06 AM EST) (all tags)
short style.


The yoga classes are a serious workout. I took the last day off (two sessions worth) as my body was absolutely beat.

My posture and flexibility have noticeably improved already.

Meditation isn't happening. Every day I go is an improvement but my mind is as active as it has ever been, as the novelty of daily life on the road means I'm hyper aware constantly. Shutting that off may not happen during the two weeks I'm here.

I'm doing a ton of reading, including some books by Alan Watts. Not that I was ever going to be religious in the having-a-relationship-with-the-christian-god sense, but his book entitled "Behold the Spirit" is a beautiful explanation of why as a child I viewed church as banal, sterile, and a complete waste of time.

I made the mistake of emailing my dad and mentioning "meditation" as part of the two week stay, I should have said it was yoga only. The next day I got an email from my mom warning me that medidation is occult and that my soul cannot find peace with it. This had me pissed off for a good two days, which surprised me; I don't typically get upset with her worldview anymore. I think I'm dissapointed with the ease of which human minds can get locked into positve feedback loops like Pascal's wager (and in my mom's case, a very paranoid and doctrinal version. I'm glad she's otherwise quite sane and doesn't hound me constantly).

Hopefully by the end of next week my "mid-trip vacation" will have me a bit bored and ready to get back on the road. Really windy, high altitude roads.

< Workday almost over. | A Day in the Life >
days at the Ashram | 29 comments (29 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
You got pissed off for 2 days? by ammoniacal (4.00 / 1) #1 Thu May 14, 2009 at 01:23:53 AM EST
Looks like Mom was RIGHT! No soul peace for YOU!

"To this day that was the most bullshit caesar salad I have every experienced..." - triggerfinger

(Comment Deleted) by xth (4.00 / 2) #2 Thu May 14, 2009 at 03:49:05 AM EST

This comment has been deleted by xth



[ Parent ]
Maybe ... by lm (4.00 / 6) #3 Thu May 14, 2009 at 08:04:42 AM EST
... without starting down the road to the emptying of the self, he would have been pissed for four days.

There is no more degenerate kind of state than that in which the richest are supposed to be the best.
Cicero, The Republic
[ Parent ]
assuming my soul is hungering for peace by MillMan (4.00 / 1) #17 Fri May 15, 2009 at 02:18:43 AM EST
was a big assumption on her part.

"Just as there are no atheists in foxholes, there are no libertarians in financial crises." -Krugman

[ Parent ]
witchcraft by garlic (2.00 / 0) #4 Thu May 14, 2009 at 10:20:42 AM EST
Meditation doesn't trigger it, but I do get the heebie jeebies with things like astrology, seances, and tarot. It's the same sort of issue I have with someone not showing the proper respect to guns.


yes by MillMan (2.00 / 0) #12 Fri May 15, 2009 at 01:56:32 AM EST
meditation is occult only if you want it to be.

"Just as there are no atheists in foxholes, there are no libertarians in financial crises." -Krugman

[ Parent ]
and by MillMan (2.00 / 0) #15 Fri May 15, 2009 at 02:11:52 AM EST
there are a few extremely creepy mofo's in this town, who are clearly into the magics.

"Just as there are no atheists in foxholes, there are no libertarians in financial crises." -Krugman

[ Parent ]
I believe that by garlic (2.00 / 0) #19 Fri May 15, 2009 at 08:39:12 AM EST
most of those guys are fakers. But trying to summon powers from supernatural sources is still creepy.


[ Parent ]
It's spelled fakirs by georgeha (4.00 / 1) #20 Fri May 15, 2009 at 09:39:06 AM EST



[ Parent ]
Meditation by ucblockhead (2.00 / 0) #5 Thu May 14, 2009 at 11:10:11 AM EST
My experience is that it takes a long time to get any real meditation out of yoga.

Tell your mom to Google "Christian Meditation" or  even "Christian Yoga".
---
[ucblockhead is] useless and subhuman

Or maybe to read by ambrosen (2.00 / 0) #8 Thu May 14, 2009 at 01:32:46 PM EST
The Way of a Pilgrim. Or not, as the case may be.

[ Parent ]
I'm tempted by MillMan (4.00 / 1) #16 Fri May 15, 2009 at 02:17:48 AM EST
to throw this Alan Watts book at her, but as we all know debating religion is even less worthwhile than going to war over it.

"Just as there are no atheists in foxholes, there are no libertarians in financial crises." -Krugman

[ Parent ]
Mill by SunlightGirl (2.00 / 0) #6 Thu May 14, 2009 at 11:13:02 AM EST
You must let go of performance and embrace the essence of being. Good meditation is like great sex it comes when it is time and with effort but not too much effort in pushed results. You trying to force yourself to have some massive enlightened spiritual experience in two weeks when you have not had such thing happen before is like my picking some guy up I don't know and expecting him to have me singing the Halleliuh Chorus in 1 hr. It could happen . But when we push ourselves saying this must happen or this is bad and all a waste of timewe block it from happening at all. Stop abusing yourself with such forced expectations.

Focus on being present. Give up reaching any kind of goal in 2 weeks other than just you being a more present you. You may not be able to do this if you are all twisted up like some pretzel. If playing Pretzel works for you then keep doing it. Try to practive mindfullness with non-mediative tasks and then take it to your meditation. Have you had Kundalini rushes yet? True meditation is not always a ooh my God this is off the hook wow - It is the calm a summer breeze lightly touching one's skin. Be. Be. Be. Be Breathe.
Oh fuck the ponies - fuck it all...
my wording may have been terse by MillMan (2.00 / 0) #13 Fri May 15, 2009 at 02:01:01 AM EST
but I already know these things - I am not forcing it and I have no expectations beyond improvement. My mind is in a tougher place to meditate than it was several years ago when I was meditating within one hour of looking up "instructions" on wikipedia for the first time.

"Just as there are no atheists in foxholes, there are no libertarians in financial crises." -Krugman

[ Parent ]
"instructions" on wikipedia by SunlightGirl (2.00 / 0) #23 Mon May 18, 2009 at 06:43:23 PM EST
Even I didn't do that. Wow. What other things have you tried using  wikipedia as your primary info source at first?
Oh fuck the ponies - fuck it all...
[ Parent ]
aahh. parents.. by littlestar (2.00 / 0) #7 Thu May 14, 2009 at 12:34:06 PM EST
I have thought I had come to terms with my parents worldview but now and again I'm still surprised or irritated at their need to reflect their views into my life. I mean, my mother started weeping when I answered her question as to whether I believed in god or not. I had to make her feel better, about something I have no problem with.

The ashram stay sound really interesting, I wish I had had a chance to do that. Yet another reason I have to go back (did you end up seeing the Taj?). I send you peace brother, calm that spirit!

*twinkle*twinkle*


Me too. by SunlightGirl (2.00 / 0) #10 Thu May 14, 2009 at 11:05:57 PM EST
I had to finally accept I would never make my parents happy with me in terms of my personal beliefs.  I have never believed right no matter how old I have been.  Parents forget their children are not their fans or followers. Children are seperate little people who grow to be taller stronger and such if all goes well.

What is your personal philisophy of life the universe and everything?
Oh fuck the ponies - fuck it all...
[ Parent ]
I did see the Taj by MillMan (2.00 / 0) #14 Fri May 15, 2009 at 02:04:22 AM EST
the photos are on flickr :)

I did more thinking on why her email bothered me so much, and I now have a better idea. In a five sentence email she managed to attack everything I've worked for as an adult outside of the material realm.

"Just as there are no atheists in foxholes, there are no libertarians in financial crises." -Krugman

[ Parent ]
Cool pics by littlestar (2.00 / 0) #18 Fri May 15, 2009 at 07:31:29 AM EST
That's crummy. I get letters from my dad perioodically telling me how much I have failed at being a daughter, so, you know, I hear ya. But as I know you know, nothing we can do. They are who they are, we are who we are. But, just so as you know; you're doing great! Way to live life!!

*twinkle*twinkle*


[ Parent ]
Do you ever write back by SunlightGirl (2.00 / 0) #24 Mon May 18, 2009 at 06:45:05 PM EST
And tell him how he failed you as a father? 
Oh fuck the ponies - fuck it all...
[ Parent ]
Absolutely no point. [nt] by littlestar (2.00 / 0) #26 Tue May 19, 2009 at 01:39:43 PM EST


*twinkle*twinkle*


[ Parent ]
Probably by SunlightGirl (2.00 / 0) #27 Tue May 19, 2009 at 10:52:57 PM EST
Unless you are like me and you say screw any inheritence and just let it rip. Moments like that are precious.
Oh fuck the ponies - fuck it all...
[ Parent ]
Nothing to do with inheritance silly girl by littlestar (2.00 / 0) #28 Wed May 20, 2009 at 06:49:28 AM EST
that's a very strange and rude assumption for you to make. {There is nothing here to inherit!} And, wasn't it you telling me that you can't say important things that need to be said? Yet here you say you do? Strange. I have in fact numerous, numerous times said what I mean to my father (as I mentioned I do to people), I do not, as asked, however, write letters to him. It's just not my style.

*twinkle*twinkle*


[ Parent ]
It was a joke! by SunlightGirl (2.00 / 0) #29 Wed May 20, 2009 at 09:33:52 AM EST
I joke with everyone say the words now risk the worst and rise to the highest level. I joke you aren't really loving if you aren't risking the worldly inheritence to get a better inheritence. There are many kinds of inheritence. I am sure you have a vast inheritence.
Oh fuck the ponies - fuck it all...
[ Parent ]
How is meditation different by ad hoc (2.00 / 0) #9 Thu May 14, 2009 at 02:01:39 PM EST
from a really good nap?
--
No sane person will critique your naps. by ammoniacal (4.00 / 1) #11 Fri May 15, 2009 at 01:54:36 AM EST

"To this day that was the most bullshit caesar salad I have every experienced..." - triggerfinger

[ Parent ]
lazy bum by infinitera (2.00 / 0) #25 Tue May 19, 2009 at 10:40:46 AM EST

[…] a professional layabout. Which I aspire to be, but am not yet. — CheeseburgerBrown

[ Parent ]
Mainly by ucblockhead (2.00 / 0) #21 Fri May 15, 2009 at 11:04:09 AM EST
That you don't actually sleep.
---
[ucblockhead is] useless and subhuman
[ Parent ]
Practice by Alan Crowe (2.00 / 0) #22 Fri May 15, 2009 at 02:59:20 PM EST
In meditation you practise not following a train of thought. As each thought arises it brings along with it habits of what thought comes next and hints of what other thoughts you might think next if that one does not suit. You practise not following up with any of them.

In a few seconds another thought will arise. You let that one go also. Try to keep letting go. Eventually a really engaging thought comes along that gets its hooks into you; away you go on a day dream. Notice. Stop. Try again.

There are practical pay offs. If you need to concentrate on something, you have practised fighting off distracting thoughts. If misfortune strikes and starts to prey on your mind you have had practise in letting go. When you want to get off to sleep at night you have already practised stilling your mind while awake.

There are philosophical pay offs. Having attained a deteached familiarity with one's thoughts, cogito ergo sum seems less convincing.

[ Parent ]
days at the Ashram | 29 comments (29 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback