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Diary
By ana (Mon Apr 20, 2009 at 08:42:11 PM EST) fun-lovig cowwqas., no backspaces (all tags)
of hanging statements and also tje no-backspace diary, we present...

The kitchen accidemt.


So toxicfur picked u[ ths cool slicing widget at the kitchem sot toy store the other day. it's adjustiable, kimda like a jointer, but with just a stationary blade. the two halves of the flat bit cam be adjusted relative to each other do change the thickness of the slices of radish or carrot or zucchini or whatever. It has a name starting with M i think but I wanna say trebuchet and that's completely worng.

Tonight i was making slad. I ad scraped a carrot and was feeting ti to the slicer. The slicer has a nother piece with a handle on it that is molded in such a way that it can't get into the bladem and has some plasting fingers on it that help hold the food you're slicing. But i wanted to slice the carrot endwise, so that the little coin-like slices would be easier to eat.

Long story short, which is to say even a little longer, mu index finger got into the mechanism. Jst after toxicfur saw how i was using the tool, and sid somethong to the effect of "use the handle or you'll slice your finger off."

"Like that?" says I? and then i went to the bathroom to deel with all the blood. it's damn hardto get a bandaid open one-hsnded whlle trying ot to bleed ona ything.

Got the bleeding stoped, ate dinner left handed. sat down to surf teh intarwebses while toxicfur's working on a cake (so i have the bestest partner or what?). Dog comes over with his bone du jour, for his favorite pastti,e (well, indoor pasttime). The one where i hold one end of the bone and he chews onthe other. i was trying to figure out how to hold it securely (man does he torque that thng) with 3 fingers plus thumb, and how to keep the index finger out of the way.

"snoof snoff? i can likz teh finger? smells ummy!"

Er, no.

Lst time i did this i found a better way to do the bandage so i could type .

and now i jave ngelfood cake batter on the other infr rx findhrt. i gove up.
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*shakes head* by toxicfur (2.00 / 0) #1 Mon Apr 20, 2009 at 08:47:42 PM EST
Poor ana. And you were making dinner for me, post yoga. You'd think you'd have good karma after doing that. I'm really glad you didn't need stitches.

--
The amount of suck that you can put up with can be mind-boggling, but it only really hits you when it then ceases to suck. -- Kellnerin
Oh, by toxicfur (2.00 / 0) #2 Mon Apr 20, 2009 at 08:55:36 PM EST
the kitchen toy is called a mandoline. We have this one.

--
The amount of suck that you can put up with can be mind-boggling, but it only really hits you when it then ceases to suck. -- Kellnerin
[ Parent ]
But, not just poor ana by ambrosen (4.00 / 2) #3 Mon Apr 20, 2009 at 08:55:42 PM EST
Also really cool ana for staying in a good mood and furthermore, sharing it with us.

[ Parent ]
IAWTP. :) by toxicfur (2.00 / 0) #4 Mon Apr 20, 2009 at 08:58:04 PM EST


--
The amount of suck that you can put up with can be mind-boggling, but it only really hits you when it then ceases to suck. -- Kellnerin
[ Parent ]
+1 FP by jimgon (4.00 / 5) #5 Mon Apr 20, 2009 at 09:43:52 PM EST

Almost as good as a Dr Thrustgood drunken diary.






---------------
Technician - "We can't even get decent physical health care. Mental health is like witchcraft here."
mandolin by ad hoc (2.00 / 0) #6 Mon Apr 20, 2009 at 11:42:27 PM EST

--
Stupid Equipment Tricks #1: Removing the by wiredog (2.00 / 0) #7 Tue Apr 21, 2009 at 07:21:31 AM EST
Safety Equipment. The safety equipment, which gets in the way and makes the job harder, is there for a reason. As you now realize.

But it could've been worse. It could've been a tabletop router. Saw that happen once.

We were building large tanks for chemicals out of thick plastic sheets. The sides were getting routed out to make grooves for sealing. The sort of thing woodworkers do, but with big plastic sheets. So the router, instead of being handheld with the bit down, is mounted in a table with the bit up.

Guy got in a hurry and removed various pieces of safety equipment that were slowing him down. He also didn't use a push stick, because that slowed him down too. He routed a nice 1/4" groove from between his middle and ring fingers down to his wrist. Left him permanently disabled.

Also unemployed, because we fired him for egregious violations of shop safety rules.

Earth First!
(We can strip mine the rest later.)

"gove" by mrgoat (2.00 / 0) #8 Tue Apr 21, 2009 at 08:46:38 AM EST
I like that word now. It's like.. the double-past-tense of give.

Also: no need for stitches or anything like that I hope? Brand new kitchen stuff can be mighty sharp.

--top hat--

heh by ana (2.00 / 0) #9 Tue Apr 21, 2009 at 09:09:38 AM EST
i like it. we've taken to doing double plurals, an example of which exists above.

No stitches, just a very neat little semicircular cut on my fingertip with a diameter of perhaps 4mm. And an ugly bandage that makes typing a bit of a challenge.

"And this ... is a piece of Synergy." --Kellnerin

[ Parent ]
kitchen trebuchet by Kellnerin (2.00 / 0) #10 Tue Apr 21, 2009 at 10:18:49 AM EST
Cool, but completely impractical.

--
"Late to the party" is the new "ahead of the curve" -- CRwM
Last week... by ana (4.00 / 1) #11 Tue Apr 21, 2009 at 10:43:26 AM EST
while talking to a friend on the phone, toxicfur excused herself saying "I have to use my kitchen chisel to split some frozen pork chops apart." We were disappointed by the non-response. We actually bought a chisel to keep in the kitchen, beside the rubber mallet.

Maybe flinging tomatoes through a coarse screen with a trebuchet would be faster than cutting them up by hand?

"And this ... is a piece of Synergy." --Kellnerin

[ Parent ]
Ow. by iGrrrl (4.00 / 1) #12 Tue Apr 21, 2009 at 09:34:38 PM EST
And... ow.'

Glad you're okay. 

"Beautiful wine, talking of scattered everythings"
(and thanks to Scrymarch)

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