There is apparently an office of ladies, can't tell if it's the insurance co or the IRS ladies that all pull a toilet seat cover tissue protector as they walk into a stall. Never fails.
The toilet seat coverers always walk into the bathroom as a group.
Then there is the loud asian chick - who you either catch hocking lugies at the sink (yes, I mean one handed nostril evacuation) or grunting when she takes a shit. Think female gymnast level of grunting.
Then there is the one woman who talks on the phone in the bathroom. It's become sport between the ladies in my office to flush the toilet just to hear her say "Wait a sec, hold on...I have to get out of here since someone is flushing."
Also, there is the mysterious handicapped bathroom stall user...as she uses the stall even when no other is taken and then she is so quiet that you're startled when you hear a noise from an otherwise empty bathroom.
The ever present can of Febreeze with the taped on "property of [redacted] insurance company" sign is a nice touch - especially the fact that the thing travels like a garden gnome around the bathroom. Because seeing that can in your chosen stall and then realizing OH MY GOD SOMEONE TOOK A DUMP IN THIS TOILET NOT TOO LONG AGO just after you've pulled your pants down is like no other.
I've also caught ladies not washing their hands after using the bathroom. Now I am no germophobe, but oh my fucking god, if I walk into the bathroom even to check myself in the mirror, I wash my hands.
This bathroom, unlike others does not have the tampon abuser. That is one plus.
And the number one rule of all ladies bathrooms (and not just this new one) when the lady in the next stall gets real quiet. I mean churchmouse quiet.
As the number one rule is NEVER, EVER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES LET SOMEONE OVERHEAR YOU TAKE A SHIT. Because if you can't hear a lady shit, then she hasn't taken a shit.
She's hoping you're in there for the mid morning coffee piss and she can let one go as your flush will cover up the noise. If she has more to go, she'll wait until after you've washed your hands and left.
And oh my god, if you both are in there to take a shit, you never, ever meet at the sinks (take your time adjusting your outfit in the stall) or if you do, do not make eye contact with her.
You can't acknowledge what just happened in the bathroom.
|< Are these flu vaccines ever going to be available? | Mind Games that can turn a girl invisible. >|